Unlocking You - A self coaching series - what is holding you back?
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Mel: Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host, Mel Findlater mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mum, know a mum, or want to be a mum, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for mums like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big, audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
Hey, I am so glad that you're here and I am super excited to introduce you to Unlocking You, a self coaching series. As you know, I'm Mel Findlater a possibility coach, and in all of my work my aim is to help you move from a space of stuckness and overwhelm into a space of possibility. The [00:01:00] kind of possibility that exists once you're able to truly See it, because when you do, you can step into the incredible impact that you're meant to create in this world.
And one of the most powerful ways I've found to help with that, beyond coaching directly with me, is to give you the right questions to self coach. Because our minds are naturally curious. When we ask ourselves the right questions, ones that invite reflection, challenge assumptions, and open doors, we often discover that we already hold the answers we need.
We just need to create space to hear them. That's exactly what this series is here for. So over the next few episodes, in each episode, I will guide you through a simple but powerful coaching question designed to help you move from feeling stuck to seeing new possibilities. No pressure, no right or wrong answers, just a chance to check in with yourself [00:02:00] and uncover what's next.
So whenever you're ready, take a deep breath, settle in, and let's begin.
/ Welcome back to Unlocking You, a self coaching series that we are playing with on this podcast. So far we've taken some really powerful steps together. We've started by checking in with where you're at, getting honest about what's present for you right now, and then we explored what do you really want?
Not what you think you want, but what your heart and intuition are really pulling you towards. And within that, we got to step into that space of possibility. Really noticing and feeling into what it would be like to have that desire in your life. So now, today, we have another question. We take the next step.
Because for most of us, as soon as we allow ourselves to name what we [00:03:00] really want, to even play in that space of possibility for just a moment, something else shows up. Doubt, fear, resistance. The yes, but voice that's in our head. So what is that yes, but voice saying? That's what we're exploring today.
What's holding you back? And we're going to look at this. I encourage you not from a place of judgment, from a place of curiosity. That is the key to this whole self coaching series, because when we bring awareness to what's standing in our way, we can start to loosen its grip, right? It's holding onto us right now and we need to help notice it.
Not judge it, simply notice with curiosity, and name it, and then we can move through it. So, let's begin by settling in, getting present, and creating space so we can explore this together.[00:04:00]
So as usual, if you're driving right now, Don't close your eyes. Make sure you're in a safe space to really dig in to this work. So wherever you are right now, take a moment to pause.
If it's available to you, close your eyes. Or even soften your gaze, let your shoulders drop, take a slow, deep breath in and out. Feel your body, wherever it is, supported by the ground beneath you, the chair you're sitting on, the space around you, and do a little gentle check in with yourself. How does your body feel right?
Is there any tension or tightness? Are you holding your breath? [00:05:00] Or is it flowing freely? Are you breathing quickly or slowly? No need to change any of those, these things. This is simply an opportunity to notice.
And if there is a place in your body that feels stuck or tense, imagine sending your breath there, not to fix it, simply to notice. And now as we move into today's reflection, see if you can stay connected to your body. If anything feels heavy or uncomfortable, bring it back to your breath.
So, what's holding you back? Imagine you're walking toward the version of your life that truly aligns with what you want. You can see it ahead of you. Maybe it's a wide open landscape. Maybe it's a [00:06:00] door waiting to be opened. You're walking toward it with clarity and excitement. But then, something appears in your path.
It might be a wall or a locked gate. A heavy fog rolling in. Maybe it's a boulder in the road. Maybe it's something else entirely. What is it for you? Whatever it is, simply notice it. What does it look like? How big is it? How does it make you feel? Maybe if it's a boulder you can walk around it and really look.
What colour is it? How hard is it? How big is it?
Now I want you to get even more curious. If this barrier could speak, [00:07:00] what could it say? What message is it giving you? Perhaps
it's saying, You're not ready or you don't deserve this. Or it's too risky
or is it afraid that you might fe fail or maybe afraid like of success like it often is for me.
Maybe it's telling you that it's not possible, or is it something external like time or money or other people's expectations? There's no need to force an answer here. Let it come, and if nothing's coming yet, that's okay too. Simply be in this moment[00:08:00]
of noticing.
Now, take a deep breath in again, and out.
Whatever you noticed, whether it was a clear belief or simply a feeling, there's no need to judge it. This isn't about fixing or forcing anything to change. It's about understanding what's here right now.
Sometimes the things that are trying to hold us back, they aren't here to stop us forever. They have something to say to us. They may have been trying to protect us. They may have been true at one time, but are no longer true today. Or they may simply be outdated stories we've been carrying without realizing it.
What's important right now is that you [00:09:00] name it, notice it, and name it. Because once you can see it, you can start to loosen its grip. If you can, take a moment to write it down or draw it out. If you see a physical barrier in your visualization, sketch it. Don't worry about how it looks. Simply use that part of your mind to put that visualization from your head onto paper.
If you hear words, write them down exactly as they came up. Just get it out of your mind and onto the page. And if you don't have time right now, make a note to return this later. Even just naming it in your thoughts is powerful.
So now that you've noticed what's holding you back, I want you to consider this. What if this wasn't a stop sign? But simply a challenge to move [00:10:00] through. What if this isn't the permanent truth, but a story that you now have the power to rewrite? For now, you don't need to change anything. Just hold this awareness.
Stay curious. And over the next few days, notice if this barrier shows up in your thoughts. In your decisions and in your self talk, instead of pushing it away, just ask, is this true? Is it helping me? Do I want to keep carrying this? That's where change begins. Not by forcing, but by becoming aware of what's there, notice it, name it.
Then you make a choice with what to do with it later. So
that's it, right? And this was. A deep one, I'm sure. A [00:11:00] heavy one. If you're anything like me, sometimes these barriers can feel like that ginormous boulder that's impossible to get around. Or I often visualize it as a massive wall with this like garden on the other side that I simply can't climb to the top of to even look over.
Or every time I look over it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And by using these metaphors and these visualizations, we kind of trick our brain into thinking about it in another way. So if it is a wall, is it made of bricks? Oh, interesting. So how can I remove those bricks? What do I need to do to start to make the wall a little bit shorter?
Or is it building a door in it, right? Is it just like carrying some of these things along? Maybe they're useful. Maybe they're not. [00:12:00] The point is we simply notice that it's a wall, or a boulder, or a locked door, or whatever it is, for you. And we breathe into it. We don't judge.
So, if this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear what came up. You can send me a message on Facebook, permission to be human, or share, share it with a friend. You know, these self coaching practices are so powerful. Not all of us have the ability to get to a coach right now for a variety of reasons.
And this is a way to help us dig into our own, our own stuff. Help us. Reflect on where we're at and the next episodes, we'll start to look back [00:13:00] into possibility because we don't wFindlaterng out behind the wall for too long. We want to peek over. We want to peek over on what's on the other side and that's what starts to take it down.
So until then, be gentle with yourself. You are exactly where you need to be and we'll see you then.
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That is it, folks. This has been Mel Finlayder on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, please, please like it, [00:14:00] share it, find Think of one person, think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, dreaming big, and out there being them. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however. who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
Yes, I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, [00:15:00] remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. Good deal. You do.
