Episode 13 - Lina
===
/[00:00:00]
Hello? Hello. My people. It is Mel, and it is a new year and we are here. And I'm doing something that I have never done before, and I am running a rerun of
one of the most listened to episodes on this podcast. And I find it absolutely fascinating. And yet not [00:01:00] surprising that it. That is this one. So we have the amazing Lina Braun with us. On this episode is way back on episode 13, that this was aired. And it is titled what to do when self care has been put on the back burner. Right. Yeah, so.
Self care. We all know. We're feeling the need for it. We're all struggling to figure out how to do it. And it seemed appropriate for me to rerun this episode today. As I am sick as a dog and. If you've listened to any of the recent episodes, you will know that. I have chosen to winter, to winter as a verb right now and am not putting. A ton of work into things and doing, and instead doing the inner work and rest [00:02:00] and all the things that self care really means. Right now.
So instead of me trying to come up with some new topic for you right now, I am going to lean on the beautiful Lina Braun. And her. Past interview with us, which was incredible. So real, so raw and talking about her own journey with self care. And I invite you to think about how it relates back to you as well. What does self care even mean? To you. What does it look like? It's more than a bubble bath enjoy. Today, we talked with Lina Braun. And it was such a delight to speak with her. Such a gentle and yet powerful soul. Telling her story in such a raw form where she forgot about self care for awhile and then came through a massive journey of. Getting to the other [00:03:00] side of that and transforming both her mind and body.
And I think it's really important to share stories like Lina's because they're real. And so many of us moms out there have forgotten to take care of ourself and we want to dream big. We want to reconnect with ourself and self care is the first step of that. Really?
Our bodies will refuse to dream big when they're in survival mode. So let's get ourselves out of it.
Mel: Okay. Hi Lina welcome so much to the podcast. It's so amazing to have you here. Let's just dive right in and tell us a little bit about who you are.
Lina: Hi Mel. I am a Cowichan Valley mom. I have two kids and I have gone through a major growth journey over the last two years, and a part of that journey for me, , has been losing 160 pounds.
[00:04:00] And it's been a big feat and one that I wanted to share with my community. , I feel like. Other moms can really benefit from hearing about my journey. Yeah, that's amazing.
Mel: And it sounds like you've had quite the shift over the last, I don't know, what timeframe would you would say that would be? I. ,
Lina: two years ago, it was May, 2021.
I was a mom doing mom life, taking care of everything and everyone, and neglecting myself, and it just got to a. I just, I remember the day where I just said, I can't do this anymore and I'm gonna do whatever I have to do to take care of me. And so for me, that was a commitment to going to counseling every week, which was really scary at the time.
[00:05:00] And, and doing other things like exercising and, , doing things for me and, yeah. It was huge. It was a huge shift.
Mel: Yeah. And I think that I know myself and many of the listeners, I'm sure, I feel like every mom can really identify with that, what you were saying there, where we give everything to everybody else and we make so many sacrifices in our life to do that.
And actually culturally probably ingrained for us to do that. And that starts to take its toll.
Lina: It does, and I think it's amazing 'cause it, it's been such a huge change over a really short time. But it, it all started just with that decision and then I. One little teeny step at a time that seemed really insignificant at the time and then led to now, and it, [00:06:00] it's so cool to see how it's impacted my family, especially my son, because I could barely, I.
Two years ago, I could barely move. I could walk a hundred meters. That was it. And now I'm out playing soccer. And the first time I played soccer with him and he was like, mom, you're a sport mom now. Woo hoo. And it just to see the impact of self, my self-care on my family, even though at the time it felt selfish in a way.
Hmm. Um, It's actually the most selfless thing. You know, you, it's really important. And so, um, I just wanna emphasize that I guess how important those little things we do for ourselves every day really are. Yeah. Yeah.
Mel: And [00:07:00] can you give us an example of what some of those little things are that helped you to have self care?
You put it?
Lina: Well, like I mentioned, like the counseling was big for me. I think like, just, I can't emphasize enough, , how important it is to work with a mental health practitioner and, , And the little things they get you to do, like reframing your thoughts or, um hmm. I don't know. I can't think of all of the other things right now, but they just get you to do little things that seem insignificant, but it really changes your inner world, which changes a lot.
Yeah.
Mel: A change of the inner world, changing your outer world for you, like physically, but also relationship wise, it sounds like even and Yeah.
Lina: Yeah. Or even like at the time, like I said, I could only [00:08:00] walk a hundred meters and that seems really insignificant, maybe to everyone else, but that's where I started.
And just the importance of honoring where you are. Yeah. And so for me doing that a hundred meters, I committed to doing that every day. And now it's kilometers and now it's riding horses and now it's getting, like I got on a bike for the first time three months ago. I video. I like recorded it. It was such a joyful moment for me.
And so I love that just that little a hundred meters led to so much more. And so, yeah, it's, it's all really important wherever
Mel: you are. Sounds like it almost just opened up so many more doors for you, right. To try all these different things that you may or may not have been able to do, a while back, but to like riding a bike, I could just see, I, I love.
The concept of bikes in general, [00:09:00] and there's something about the wind going in your hair and the, the, the joy of like propelling at a different speed. And I love that. That has given you, you're now able to do that. Should that be what comes your way and you want to try Right.
Lina: That's wonderful. I, yeah, I feel like me facing.
My stuff and everyone has their own stuff, has opened up doors for me to live in a way that I. Never would have expected would happen for me. And so I feel like a child again. I feel like I get to, like riding a bike is going downhill on a bike was glorious and like for someone else that might look different there, you know, maybe they, you know, that might look different, but whatever it is, um, just being fully present and.
Living your life that way is [00:10:00] really, really beautiful and I'm so thankful. Yeah.
Mel: Yeah. Where else do you find that it shows up in your life, this difference?
Lina: I, well, I, I feel like a healing, like is like a homecoming and so. Just getting to know who I am. When you live for other people, you lose little bits of yourself. And so to try so many or to be able to try so many new things and to put myself out there, even like doing this podcast, it just, you get to see who you are, what you like, what you're good at, and it's all a homecoming and it feels really good because you're living.
Authentically and who you in the way that you were always meant to or created to be. So yeah, I feel, [00:11:00] yeah,
Mel: I love that. A homecoming to who you're meant to be.
Lina: Yeah. Which is not solely to serve other people all of the time, you know? Like for me, I ride horses once a week now, and that's new for me. And it's like this sacred space where I'm just honoring my inner child and being free and feeling the wind in my hair.
And it's this space set aside from my family where it's just for me, but also it's for them too. You know, taking care of me is for them. So, I think it's important to have little pockets of that for ourselves. Yeah,
Mel: for sure. I love that. I can see, I can sense a theme with the horse riding and the, and the bike.
That kind [00:12:00] of like movement. Yeah. Right.
Lina: Yeah. I like that. It's fun.
Mel: Yeah, I was having a, a chat with some friends the other day and we were talking about how you're either an uphill person or a downhill person. Yeah. And some people like really thrive in the uphill space where it's the challenge and you're working hard for a, you know, sustained amount of time.
Yeah. And some people, like they live for the downhill, right? Yeah.
Lina: I live for the downhill. Yeah. I like the reward. Like I will do the uphill. For the sweet reward at the end.
Mel: I'm a downhill person as well. I can do the uphill, but it's harder obviously, but I find it like just mentally more hard. But I love that downhill for sure. Um, I was comparing it with my kids the other day, and one is the older one isn't. Is I think an uphill girl. She likes. She likes that actually. That slow challenge.
Yeah, it's just kind of steady. And the [00:13:00] other one's like, give me a hill. I'm going down as fast as I can. Nevermind a repercussion.
Lina: That's cool. I've never thought about it that way. That's really cool. We're also different and yet valid and importance in the way that we are, so that's cool. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah,
Mel: exactly. And I really like how you're talking about self-care in a way that is a little different than perhaps the typical things that we think of. So yes, it might include the things like getting your nails done or having a bath or those things are really important. But the other things that you mentioned, finding things that you really.
Enjoy playing, for example, are such a, an important addition to that realm of self-care.
Lina: And I, I think that's where it all started for me. Um, I was, let's say 330 pounds and to [00:14:00] society. I was unattractive and judged and I decided that I was just gonna live my best life. The body that I was in. And so I put on a bathing suit and I went snorkeling in in coral reefs.
I hiked through the jungle. I used the body that I had and loved that body at every stage of the journey. And that's really what. Prompted, you know, the lifelong change for me is just to find healing through self love and to not hate that body anymore. To love her at every, every stage that she was at.
Yeah.
Mel: That's so beautiful and so hard to do. It's so hard to do, right? Yeah. Because we are like trained to hate our bodies, honestly, as women. That [00:15:00] is like from a young age, what we are culturally shown to do, and I love that. In fact, I'll, I'll state to our, our listeners that I, I actually very rarely get into the conversation about weight with people because it can go down this path of.
Of self-hate as opposed to self-love, right? That the, the change is coming from a place of self-hate. And what I love about your story is that, as you said, it's about starting to love yourself and love the body that you have in that moment, and each moment that comes
Lina: thereafter. Yeah, and, and that was a part of my little practices.
I said to myself, the only way that a change is gonna happen for me is if I learn to never say anything negative to myself and love myself better than I ever have before. And so, even I had sticky notes on the [00:16:00] wall just with I am statements. I am beautiful. I am. Brave that I saw every day and said to myself, um, because the shame that is put on women for their bodies is so counterproductive and hurtful, and it doesn't prompt change.
It's just toxic. Um, and I, I just really encourage women to see themselves as beautiful. In every shape that their body is. Um, 'cause that's really where the healing starts. Yeah.
Mel: Yeah. Changing and reframing, as you said, the way that we're thinking about things, if we look at a picture of ourselves, see the beauty in it.
Yeah, even if we're making a contorted face of whatever sort, um, even if our body is X amount pounds heavier than it [00:17:00] was last time we had that photo, um, I just, yeah. I think that's such an important thing to say and to believe about ourselves is, is that self love. But as we say,
Lina: it's really, really hard.
Even if you don't feel that way, like even if it feels like a lie, still do it. You know, still say the good thing. Still reframe your thought. Yeah. And make it positive, because then it, it does become true. Yeah.
Mel: You know? There's this really beautiful, um, method that, uh, Carol Williams love I interviewed in a previous episode about Havening.
She uses this one. I worked with her quite closely on my reframing and shifting things, and she uses a phrase in those moments where you don't believe it yet. But you want to believe it. Mm-hmm. She puts a what if beforehand. And to me, that's been a game changer. 'cause our, our brains [00:18:00] enjoy that. They're curious creatures.
We are naturally curious human beings. So instead of saying, so at one point I, um, as I think every woman has challenges around worthiness, and I wanted to believe I am worthy, and it was actually related to something that seems seemingly small, but it was playing, it was, for me, it was huge. It was going back to playing soccer.
I, um, I needed to believe all, all sorts of things because I was coming back from injury, but I needed to believe that I was worthy of getting out there and playing, and I had to trick myself. If I had just continuously done the affirmation of I'm worthy, my brain was going, no, you're not after every single one.
So I'm still building that pathway where for me, saying, what if I'm worthy? It's like, oh, that's interesting. What if I was, and then my brain starts imagining myself being worthy, which is such a, um, which it tricks our brain, our brains don't know the [00:19:00] difference between reality and like, pretend in our heads.
So it's, um, it's a really cool way of doing it is to add a what if before whatever affirmation it is that you're saying.
Lina: That's so beautiful. That's really nice. And for me, um, the Post-It notes were really good because they were always there. Just like, you know, like when we look at media and it kind of brainwashes us to believe we have to be a certain way.
Well, those little post-it notes were everywhere convincing my brain that I was all these. Good things. So that was good to see it there and to be surprised by it. I'm like, oh yeah, that's there again. And it's just this daily infusion of goodness.
Yeah.
Mel: Yeah. And it takes a lot to like counteract all the negative stuff we've, we've seen over the years.
Right. So yeah, post-it notes are a great idea. I still have some stuck around, I've almost taken them down and then I was like, no, just leave them up. Which are again, a question mode for me, [00:20:00] but it's, uh, what does it say? The one currently up is, um, what do I get to do? Because I was really struggling with, um, my husband goes away every few weeks and I was.
I always get really frustrated and annoyed and anxious about it beforehand. Aw. Yeah. And um, mostly just to do with how many million things I have to do with kids and stuff that, that, that week, but, I was getting into this negative space. So my, my thing is like, well, what do I get to do because I have a week to myself with my kids.
What do I get to? And it challenges me to like come up with the answer every time I walk by. And that was like months ago and I'm, I almost took it around down just yesterday when I was cleaning and I was like, no, this has gotta stay up. I could use it in so many contexts. What do I get to do?
Lina: Okay. Oh, that's so wonderful.
I love that one too. That's great.
Mel: Yeah, so I love that you've gone through this journey of having a really challenging [00:21:00] time in terms of identity and weight and body image and just the way you thought about yourself, and you shifted that through a variety of very intentional practices to where you are now. And so how would you describe where you are now?
Lina: I would say I am, I feel like I'm in transition from one life to another where I had this old way of living and now I am living in a new way, which involves a new community of people. , as a part of the process, I decided to leave my very long-term partner. And so when you are a new person, you, you need to also put your self in new spaces with new people.
And so I [00:22:00] feel like I'm in transition right now. I am doing new work. I work now, , in social media management and graphic design just to honor the creative person that I always wanted to be. To be a creator. , and then I wanna get into voice acting and, , so I, it feels like a space of transition right now.
Yeah. Which is a hard space to be because there's a lot of uncertainty. , but it's also a space of so much growth and excitement because you're going after your dreams. Yeah.
Mel: Yeah. And that space where we are starting to go after our dreams is, as you say, exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
Lina: I watched this clip by Brene Brown last night and she was just saying how true bravery is being vulnerable and [00:23:00] vulnerability requires risk, uncertainty, and emotional exposure. And so, um, it's challenging and it's brave to go after your great big dreams. I. Yeah,
Mel: exactly. I am a huge lover. Brene Brown. If she ever listens, if anybody knows her and wants to get her on this podcast, it would be like my biggest dream in the whole world.
Lina: It's gonna happen. She's amazing.
Mel: , but yeah, I think that's exactly right. And courage and bravery are. Stepping into the ring as she puts it in another part, right? Yeah, that's right. And that can feel well. It will feel really scary and really horrible at times, and really wonderful at other times, right?
Lina: Yeah. Yeah. It makes you so [00:24:00] strong. I've put myself out there. I told myself as a part of this journey that I was just gonna show up. Hmm. That for the first time, whatever presented itself, I was just gonna show up and I couldn't control the outcome or how I was gonna feel about it, but I would just be courageous and show up.
And, it's been such a gift to, to do that because yeah, there's been a lot of moments that have been. Just unenjoyable, but so much joy. There's been so much joy and growth and strength that has come out of doing that, and it's been so worth it. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Mel: So tell us a little bit more about what is your big audacious
Lina: dream?
So, my big audacious dream was [00:25:00] to get physically healthy. And I'm, I'm there now and I can't, sometimes I forget how far I've come. I, because growth is, it's a lifelong thing. And so you're looking forward to the next thing that you wanna do, and you forget that, hey, you've come a really, really far already and it's important to honor that.
And then now just to have a. In a creative field to make that transition is my big dream. , one of them, like I said before, is to be a voice actor, which is why I've contacted you to do this podcast just so I can practice this. And, , I'm really excited about it because it feels, working in a creative job feels like what I was always meant to be doing.
I just never really knew how, or I felt like maybe being a [00:26:00] creative was not practical. And so it's nice to just honor that now. Yeah. Yeah.
Mel: I love that. And I, I think in your previous message to me, you mentioned that like you've wanted to be a creative in the creative kind of side of things since you were a kid.
Lina: My whole life. I remember writing poetry when in the woods when I was just a little teeny girl, and it's always been this longing that I felt like was not practical and something I had to push down or or push away. And so just to accept that that is practical. To be a creative, it's practical and it's really an important offering to the world.
, and that I can do it too. , it feels really good 'cause it just feels like who I am. Yeah.
Mel: Yeah. I think that's really beautiful. [00:27:00] And what it makes me think of, , to reflect back to your answers, there was. Your original dream was to be physically healthy and to get yourself that point of view. You've gotten there and now it feels like I actually would argue the whole way along.
It's actually to be healthy and to be more you. Right, because it feels like this dream that you're reconnecting with this creative side of yourself that's been kind of repressed for so many years is finally being like, Hey, hey, now that you're like healthy enough to notice me, I'm just gonna poke you a little bit over here and remind you that I exist and that I am you.
And how, how can we
Lina: let that shine? Yeah, I agree. It's all studying, , digital design and communications. I don't know that I would've lost any weight or got this far without having the focus on the art. It was such [00:28:00] a huge part of just, you know, the weight loss was the consequence of living more authentically.
Hmm.
Mel: Yeah. But really it sounds like the big dream is. Live more authentic. Live authentic. To be an artist, actually, right? As probably is for all of us, right? I think it, I think it is, is to figure out what that is for us and go and
Lina: do it, but you can't figure it out unless you put yourself out there and try things.
Yeah. And
Mel: so You mean I can't just sit in my room and just like come up with ideas? It's my favorite thing. No, I know. I,
Lina: that's my favorite thing too. I like to lie around and imagine doing all the
Mel: things. Exactly. And to be fair, as much as we joke about that and yes, action is so, so important. The line in our room and thinking about things is a step.
It is us allowing ourselves to dream. And then once we've dream, the key is, okay, what am I gonna do with the tiny little [00:29:00] minuscule, I call them laughable step. Can I take now to get a little closer to making that, not just me in my room by myself dreaming, but the possibilities.
Lina: That's exactly it. Yeah.
That little laughable stuff and yeah. Dreaming is so important. 'cause it inspires us. Mm-hmm. You can see it. Yeah. Yeah. I was an, I was a athlete growing up, and we would always have to visualize our races before we did them. It was as important of a step as the physical training. Yeah. And so taking time, like I bet there's people out there who don't even take the time to daydream and imagine the possibilities, and so that is a really important step too.
I agree. Yeah. Yeah. To
Mel: really help you connect, reconnect back with so many parts of ourself that we don't, don't even remember.
Lina: I know, I know. Because we're busy. You're
Mel: busy. Yeah. [00:30:00] Yeah. It's busy. And life is, especially as a mom, like, there's just so much that we think anyways that we have to do and it can, it can feel really, really busy and overwhelming and that that's kind of a waste of time to sit and daydream.
Mm-hmm. But it's so not. Like it is that first step towards being the authentic you. And I love that you've have brought that out and into the conversation. Yeah.
Lina: And think of our children and how much they daydream and imagine and, I don't know, pick, pick their lead, you know?
Mel: Yeah, and I think that's a really, like, it leads me to this question that we could all ask ourself of.
'cause when I asked you about the creative side, you're like, yeah, I remember sitting in the trees writing poetry. Right? Yeah. So like what memory did the rest of us have? Like what memory do I have? I'm not even sure the answer of, yeah, when I was a kid, when I was full of joy. [00:31:00]
Lina: I feel like the clue, the clues are there.
Yeah. You just have to go back and, and, well, I didn't notice them until I actually found what I loved and then I went back over my life and was like, oh yeah, I've done that so much. You know, I've, I've always played characters and acted and performed for my family, my husband and my children, and I was like the crazy mom that had different characters.
And I didn't realize, like, I can take that outside of my house too. Like yeah. It's, it's an important part of me, you know? So I love
Mel: that. And you're bringing back memories of my childhood now where we used to, like all the neighborhood kids back in the day when you could just go outside and come back at dinnertime kind of thing.
, we would get together and we would make shows. We would just, and then we'd go back and we'd perform for my family or somebody's family, whichever parent is willing to sit down in a [00:32:00] chair and watch essentially. And I loved that stuff. Yeah, it's fun. It's probably, uh, performing kind of side of it that's been repressed in my life.
So you brought that one out. Aw,
Lina: that's great. For me, I just, I just started with an acting class. I took improv, I took, Film and tv and through it all, I kind of realized, oh, I think that I like voice acting the best. And so, um, yeah, just taking like little risks and trying things. Yeah.
Mel: And it is that little risks.
, and there's like, so I always think of the comfort zone as like a visual image, right? So there's our safe zone in the middle, and then the next here out is our, our stretch zone. And then there's the like, For lack of a better word. I don't even know what everybody else called. The red zone, I think is probably what it's officially called.
I call it the ocean zone. Right. So yeah, it's like, it's just one step too far out there, but actually in the stretch [00:33:00] zone, you can kind of just lean outta the comfort zone a bit and then you can go a little further out and you might just touch, like you don't know what the red zone is until you kind of get there and you're like, Nope, that's too much.
Yep, I'm stopping now. Um, but it's when we live in our. Stretch zone more and then dip back into our comfort zone that we feel at our best and
Lina: can truly be ourselves. And you made a good point is that you can always back up. Yeah. If it feels too uncomfortable, you can always just say, I'm outta here. You know?
Yeah. Like there's always a way out there is.
Mel: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And,
Lina: , So if you show up and it's, you don't wanna be there, you can, you can leave. And say, that's too much for me today. And just honor that for yourself.
Mel: Exactly. Yeah. It might be too much today. Maybe it's better another day, or it might be that, oh, this isn't what I thought it was [00:34:00] gonna be, and actually this is no longer where I want to go and what I wanna be doing, and that's totally okay.
We don't know that until we try. Right?
Lina: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Taking the risk doesn't mean that you have, you have to stay there. Mm-hmm.
Mel: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Amazing. So what's one thing that you, what's a tip that you would give to the moms who are listening in here who might be at various stages of that journey of figuring out what their big, audacious dream is?
Connecting with themselves, becoming their authentic self. 'cause honestly, all of our dreams is to become our authentic self. Mm-hmm. What's your,
Lina: what would you say to them?
I guess I'm, I'm just a really big advocate for, [00:35:00] working with a counselor and really doing that work and doing some of the, the healing and reframing. Our mind work because it's made such a huge impact in my life. Two years ago, I had such bad social anxiety, I couldn't speak to anyone. in Two years of counseling.
I was in Mexico. I designed an app and I was presenting it in front of hundreds of people, including doctors and, um, just professional people. And I went from not being able to speak to anyone to there just by the small commitment of going to counseling and doing mental health work. And so I, I feel like, , I hope someone, I just hope people see the importance of, of that work.
How much it, [00:36:00] how much of a game changer. It's,
Mel: that's, that's beautiful. Thank you. And, and I couldn't agree more. I think actually like we don't have to wait to get into crisis mode to actually go and talk to someone as well. We all have so much work to do and,
Lina: um mm-hmm. Life is, is such a journey and there's so much beauty if we're willing to do that work and grow no matter who we are or where we are. .
Mel: Yeah. That's amazing. Awesome.
Thank you so much for coming. Lena. I think it's so important to share stories like yours. Who are I? Well, like, like all the stories that I'm sharing, but yours is at a, maybe a different stage in, in a very different journey, and I think that your story is, is beautiful and becoming that authentic self is something that we all are reaching for.
And that it is a lifelong journey.
Lina: So thank you. It's been an honor just to [00:37:00] be here and to share, and I'm glad that most people don't know my story. They just see me and they don't know that where I was. And so it's really an honor to be able to have this space to share it.
Mel: Thank you, and it's an honor to be able to provide that.
[00:38:00] [00:39:00]
That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, please, please like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, dreaming big, and out there being them. Please do head on over to [00:40:00] find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you [00:41:00] do.
