Episode 88 - Courageous Gratitude
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Mel: [00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
Hello? Hello. Everyone you have me on a solo episode again today. And we are tapping into the topic of. Courageous. Gratitude.
And these are two things that have really [00:01:00] come into my life a lot lately and are at the kind of front of mind for me. And I think in this season, Uh, gratitude, especially being at the front of mind for, for many of us. So. First let's dig into a little bit of what is courage. And then what is gratitude? So. And how do they go together? You mean courageous gratitude.
Why are these two words? Even near each other. Right. And we'll get into that too. So, Firstly courage. Courage is.
Doing something that's just a little bit scary and uncomfortable. You know, courage is about more than just jumping out of airplanes. Right. It's about. Stepping into the unknown it's about scene that fear. That uncomfortableness, that kind of [00:02:00] jitteriness that we have when we try new things. And kind of saying, Hey, yeah, I see you.
It makes sense that you're a little bit scared right now. Come on. Like put your hand around him. Arm around it, hold his hand and just bring that fear along for the ride. That's what courage is. Right. It's not doing things. It's not stopping yourself from being afraid. It's simply taking it along for the ride. And stepping into that space of.
Courage and that space of just a little bit outside your comfort zone.
And now gratitude.
I have an interesting relationship with gratitude. I am only just getting to this space of. Appreciating it and loving it. Because in our culture. You know, we grow up. Hearing, especially for me. [00:03:00] This is my story. Right. But I think many people can relate.
Not necessarily these exact words coming at us, but the, you should be grateful concept. And when you think out of the box and when you can see possibilities, such as I often can.
I can always see how we can make things better. And there's an assumption there that by some that I am there for not grateful for what I have. And well, I was very resistant to this, uh, Thought process that someone might have about this. And quite defensive. I think. You know, in many ways that that's that's right.
I it's okay to be defensive with that because it wasn't a matter of me not being grateful. It was a matter of me seeing more. I seen what's possible. And. [00:04:00]
I think there is space in there for a better practice of gratitude for my own melts, mental health and wellbeing. And perhaps for yours as well. You know, gratitude is one of those things that. Can be a practice. It needs to be a practice. It is proven science, like scientifically, like there's quite a few research projects out there showing. That a regular practice of gratitude, but truly felt heart gratitude.
Can better our wellbeing and increase our wa our happiness.
So. You know, I'm, I'm leaning into it now and I'm, I'm exploring how gratitude and ritual can come into play. And I'm. I'm using. Aw. Uh, in combination with gratitude. So I'm really, you know, I can look out my window right now and see these trees and think like, What intrigues me and what am I feeling really grateful for? Out this [00:05:00] window right now. And just taking that few seconds to do that. Uh, as a practice. Right. And, um, my kids go to this beautiful forest school. One day a week and they start every. Session. With an awareness around what's around them.
And then I gratitude. And sometimes it's specific like nature focus. Sometimes it can be anything. Uh,
That you want. Last time I was there. I was really noticing the Moss on the trees. And how different they are and how in the, in the forest where I live on Vancouver island, each forest is a little bit different. You know, depending on how close it is to the water and other environmental factors. You know, They're all different, but so many of them have these incredible, just mosques growing all up the trees and on the ground. Uh, because it's officially a rainforest. And I was feeling really [00:06:00] grateful for that. Um, And I would say it's kind of, it allows me to get into OSS.
So those two things definitely go, sorry. So gratitude can show up in so many ways in our life. Uh, In what's around us, in the people. That surround us in an event that's happened. Um,
And I think it is important to find a way to build that relationship with gratitude for each of us. To build that relationship with gratitude. That is a healthy and helpful. So. Um, I share that. Story of gratitude you with you. That's mine to kind of encourage you to think about what's your relationship with it.
How do you and gratitude get along? How does your body react? When I. Invite you into a practice of gratitude. Are you. Resistant. Like I would have been a little while ago. Are you. [00:07:00] Uh, dismissive. Are you excited? Are you whatever else it might be.
And just kind of lean into that. And let that sit for a bit and think about how, or if. Gratitude, my enter your, your life. Um, But it's a real deep sense of feeling. True gratitude. Uh, foreseen seen some of the good. That's around us. Um, and the things that are helpful.
So courageous gratitude, which is the topic of the podcast.
Today is an interesting one for me. And what happens if we put courage? So that doing something a little bit scary and uncomfortable. And bringing fear along for the ride. How do we do that? Alongside gratitude? And I think, I think it naturally happens. Right. [00:08:00] So like it's. Being grateful is the courage to take the time to slow down in a culture that says to go, go, go. Is to take the time to teach our children. Too. Notice. To stop. And notice. What's around us. What happened in the day, what they're feeling really. Grateful for and like, happy about that day. Or that moment or that week. You know, And.
It takes courage to actually take the time to slow down in a world that tells us to keep going fast. Uh, I, we, we recently in my house have decided that dinner time we want more of a ritual around it, and we always sat down together. We always had no phones at the table.
But I noticed that my husband and I would [00:09:00] get up and move because my kids take longer to eat. And we'd be done and we've moved on to, you know, cleaning up the kitchen or whatever the next thing is. And our bodies and our minds are like, go, go, go, go, go. Cause we haven't quite settled down. From the day. And it is. It's a shame. Right. These are moments of potential connection with our kiddos and one of the few regular things that we get every day. Altogether.
So we've we now have a rule. We actually laid a candle at beginning. My daughter has a little song that she's always loved to sing. Um, A little kind of non-religious. A blessing song. And we're not allowed to leave the table apart from like, you know, going to the kitchen, getting water or something, but not properly leave the table until the candles are blown out.
And, uh,
That like, it took courage for me to be like, Hey guys, like, this is what I want to do with my kids are all for it, by the way. [00:10:00] But it's taken practice. Um, But that courage to slow down.
And it's, it's the courage to be in relationship with other people at a depth that we maybe aren't used to. Right. So in the courageous kindness challenge that's out right now. Um, it's a free two week challenge that. Many women from around the world are taking on each day, they get a prompt and at least two, possibly three of them are related to gratitude.
And. Um, I think the first day might've been and I've been, uh, Trying to do it myself as well. Each of the little daily challenges and one of them was, um, Too. To tell someone. What you're grateful for. That they've maybe done or who they are or how you're grateful for them. And. I messaged a neighbor and, uh, And, you know, it took guts.
I could feel myself. Feel it a little bit nervous, but I am so grateful for [00:11:00] all of the support I received from her and from her. And, you know, In terms of helping with my dog or my kids, or just friendship or, you know, all of the things. And I just simply wrote a text and said, I just want you to know that I'm really grateful for all these things.
And. I could feel my heart beat a little faster. Right. And it's interesting. Cause logical brain is like, whoa, like. Of course, they're going to like this. Like you're not going to get an acre of response back, but you know, There's always that chance you'll get a laugh for an ignore or whatever. And I think that's where the courage comes in.
Right. Our lizard brains. Are going back to stone-age times and saying like, we're like, don't put yourself out there. You gotta be safe, safe, and numbers. Um, don't want to be rejected, right? But in the end, uh, this is how we build our relationships in. And make them deeper. So. [00:12:00]
I feel really. Grateful for the fact that I did that and really proud of the fact that I did that. And, uh, you know, it's all these little things like when's the last time you told someone that you were grateful for? Them or for something they've done and not just like a quick, thank you. Those are great too.
Thank you. As you go by, but a true heartfelt, like almost out of the blue feeling like, you know, how grateful I am for the ice. I'm so grateful for. Who you are and what you do. And of course other people feel amazing when you tell them that as well. But it takes courage. So, um, that is how the courageous. Gratitude works.
And, and lastly it takes courage to commit to this habit. Right. Our brains are designed to notice the negative. Uh, in the world to keep us alive. And that's totally fine [00:13:00] and works in our favor in many situations. And what it does mean as well is that we have two.
Intentionally commit to creating a new habit of gratitude. You know, create your own ritual. Some people like to write it in a journal in the morning. Maybe it's the first thing you think when you open your eyes before you even get out of bed. Uh, you know, Adding it in as a habit. To something that happens frequently because that's where a lot of the benefits. Come from. So. You know, it takes courage to build a habit because habits are not easy to keep.
So courageous gratitude. And that's that. So this is simply a short little episode inviting you into creating courageous. Gratitude in your world and in your life. And thinking and reflecting on how that could look we're entering into the holiday [00:14:00] season. Many of us are celebrating. Christmas or a variety of things.
And, you know, we're spending time with our families and this is such a beautiful opportunity for us to feel gratitude and to practice courageous. Gratitude. So there is your invitation.
As always, I am very grateful for you in listening and being here and showing up for yourself. And thank you.
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Mel: That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked [00:15:00] today's episode, please, please, please like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, dreaming big, and out there being them. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Ha ha, just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect.
Let's find out what you want more of. I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. [00:16:00] As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human.
For real, you do.
