Ep 85 - Kyla
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Mel: [00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
We have Kyla with us today who tells us her amazing story about being a homeschool mom to five kids. Ages one to 12, a photographer specializing in family and high school seniors and a photography educator, teaching moms, how to take amazing pictures. [00:01:00] Of their own using a DSLR camera. You know that camera that you maybe bought when your kids were little and it sits on the, on the shelf like mine does because. You only know how to use. The auto mode. And therefore your. Camera on your phone is better for that.
Yeah. That camera she can teach you how to make stinking. Amazing pictures. She loves cute socks, jelly, bellies, hiking, traveling, doing house DIY projects and singing and playing the piano with her husband, Ben. She loves meeting new people is always up for an adventure and is super passionate about loving people. And seeing people for who they uniquely. Are. This was such a. Great chat with Kyla to hear how, you know, the everyday life works of a mom who has decided to not only homeschool her five children. But also take the time for herself to do [00:02:00] something that is lighting her up and building her. Photography business, including the education component. She's also super friendly and approachable, and she has a free class that teaches moms how to take their amazing pictures. And you can find that at Kyla Shurtz that's S H U R T Z.
photography.com/webinar-camera-confidence-evergreen. So do go and check it out. I know. I will be taking this course and seeing what comes up after that, because I would love to. Take my camera off it's shelf. What a fascinating concept. But also, you know, besides the photography we get into the real life stuff, like, what's it, like, how do you manage to do it?
What are your kids doing right now on this podcast, in the other room? Right.
So stick around if that intrigues you hey Kyla. Hey. [00:03:00] Hey. So I'm so excited that you are here with me today. We met in, you know, kind of funny online ways that, as, as you do, and I've always really admired, you know, the chats that we have. You've got your little one on your lap often, and you know, you're a true mom. So we can get
Kyla: through this, hopefully.
Mel: Yeah, exactly. So if we hear a kid, it's fine. It's totally fine because that's the reality of a mom, uh, following through with what she really wants to do and building that business like you are. So I'm excited to have you here. So do tell us, tell us about who you are. Who's Kyla?
Kyla: So I'm Kyla, and I wear lots of different hats, I feel.
So, in a nutshell, I'm a homeschool mom to five kids. My kids range in age from one years old up to twelve. I am a photographer, who specializes in families, and high school seniors. And then I [00:04:00] also am a photography educator teaching moms how to take their DSLR camera that's been sitting on the shelf collecting dust how to use that well.
And especially for the purpose of taking pictures of their kids because there's so many things capturing just childhood memories, capturing family vacations. Capturing sports pictures, senior pictures, just so many things that we as moms want to capture. And so I teach moms how to do that.
Mel: I love that in so many ways.
So I will definitely be like, we'll be digging into that a little bit, maybe for selfish reasons, but you know, I think it's so important and, and I'm really, so before I say how I think it's important, I'm really curious, like, What got you into that? How, what's that journey?
Kyla: Yeah so I, mine started, my journey started very much so, like, how my audience is, [00:05:00] who I teach a lot of times.
So I, when my first baby was born, Bentley, 12 years ago, I bought a fancy camera to take pictures of him. I loved it and I took pictures of him a lot. I was a stay at home mom and we just would go out and take pictures in the pretty fall leaves and, uh, take like Christmas themed pictures and just like fun pictures.
And I wasn't really great at it. Everything was run on auto mode on my camera cause I didn't know how to use it, but I loved it anyways. And then A few years into doing that, I started having family and friends start asking me like, Oh, you have a nice camera. You like to take pictures, like take pictures of my kids.
And so I started just like taking pictures of my niece when she was born and just little things like that. And then one year I had a friend who she asked me to take her family pictures. And I was like, Well, I'm not a [00:06:00] photographer like that. That seems a little bit outside of my realm. And she was like, yeah, but I've seen your pictures and you do a good job.
And so like, what, what should I pay you? What would you charge to do family pictures? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't want to steal your money, like 30. Like I did not charge. And, but I found, I loved it. So, so much. So then I decided like, well, maybe I should offer this again. And I just offered it to other friends, 30 for like a short family photo session.
And I did several more and I was like, this is really fun, but I'm still just on auto mode. So I kind of was in this realm of feeling like an imposter where I'm like here, I'm kind of like a photographer wannabe. And so I decided maybe I should actually learn something about my camera. So then I started.
learning more and just started building a business from there. It was always a question of like, am I doing this as a hobby? Am I doing this as a business? And [00:07:00] over time it started to be more and more. So I want to do this for a business. So then it's looking about like, okay, I need to be profitable. So I need to charge more than 30 for a photo session.
And, and I like have loved being a photographer, loved Capturing memories of, especially like families with young kids can be so chaotic so much of the time but I love being able to just love on people and really capture, like, genuine joy and love and personality in pictures and, and then also that just, like, I love to be a teacher.
And so I've always had this idea of like moms, moms have cameras and they want to learn this. And I had so many friends that would ask me questions about how to use their camera. And so that started spinning into what if I teach a course, what if I, I start I'm moving in that direction, and so I launched an official [00:08:00] course in July of this year called Moms and Cameras, uh, teaching moms how to use manual mode on their camera because that's what was kind of the pivotal moment for me in, Taking better pictures was actually learning how to use my camera and so Launched that and I'm really loving kind of guiding moms through the process of that We have a private Facebook page where people will post questions and I can answer them and it's just a really fun And fulfilling thing for me to be able to do all of this As well as be a mom to my kids and I homeschool them and so it's like I, I'm busy with those things but I, this is something that I can do on the side as a fulfilling thing for me.
Which I know you're all about like cheering moms and doing things that they love and supporting them in just like finding themselves through motherhood in the things in motherhood. So yeah, that's kind of how all of this is [00:09:00] like evolved over time.
Mel: Yeah, I love that. I love that it's like, you know, it's not like you just woke up like we're, we're talking on here a lot about like the big audacious dream.
Right? And I think your exact your story is the perfect example of this. Like, it's not like you bought that camera thinking I know this is my big dream to go out and take pictures of other people's kids and get paid for it and to teach other people how to do it. You know, that's like you didn't have that detail in the vision and the dream at that stage of the game.
Right. And I love that it was this Kind of journey of figuring out. Oh, maybe that's possible. And oh, maybe that's possible because you know possibility is probably one of my favorite words and we can only see as far as our kind of current bubble will allow us as our mindset our Situation in life, you know So you're like, yeah, 30.
And I'm [00:10:00] just like, what? No, you didn't do that.
Kyla: Right? I didn't want to
Mel: rip them off. I was like, I don't know what I'm doing guys. Totally. And from a business perspective, if someone ever asked me, I would never say that you should do it for 30. That being said, that's the amount that you felt comfortable with at the time.
And it got you to open the door just a little bit. Yeah. And to think and notice that you enjoyed it, and then do it again, and then do it again, and then start to, you know, value your time a little bit more, and add in some more cost in there. Which I just think is, is a great story. You know, like, from a business perspective, like, we all, so many of us have issues with, like, money mindset anyways.
Like, that, that is definitely a thing. And if it's stopping you, then okay, what price will you go and do? And just to learn. And see what you enjoy and see what other people actually want, you know, do it a couple of times and then up it and then do it a couple of times and then up it and
Kyla: I think [00:11:00] a lot of times too, we feel like we need to be amazing at something and perfect at something before we chase dreams around it that we think we're not good enough.
And. I mean, definitely my photography has changed immensely from when I first bought my camera 12 years ago, and I, I've grown, and I've learned, and I think that's important to do no matter where you're at in life, is to keep learning and keep growing, but also do things imperfectly, and, and know that You don't have to be amazing at it to start.
Yeah, we we get there by the journey and by trying and failing sometimes and going backwards sometimes and reassessing things, but Just starting sometimes is a big step.
Mel: Yeah, and that imperfection in your eyes, [00:12:00] but your friends like yeah But you're better than I am You know, there's all these other
Kyla: photographers that I follow and I'm like, yeah, but I'm not good.
Like, they're not following. They're not in the same world of like following photographers that I look up to. And so at the time, it was just like, You have a nice camera and you have an eye for this better than I do. And so it was like, I was one step ahead and that's all I needed to be for them to see value in what I was doing.
Mel: Exactly. And I think that's such a good lesson for everybody in terms of whatever it is that we're. we're trying to do. All we need to be is one step ahead of whoever it is we want to serve. That's it. That's it. You know, and then you grow and you learn and you become a little bit further along and, and better at what you're doing.
But yeah, so just get started in that imperfect way in, like, provide that imposter syndrome? Like, let's talk about imposter syndrome because you mentioned it back then. You felt a bit like, you know, [00:13:00] maybe you were an imposter in this world. You didn't have all of the experience that the people that you follow perhaps do.
How is that now?
Kyla: You know, I think we're, I think we always should be Resting a little bit in imposter syndrome, right? Like that's how we improve is if we think we're perfect at something, that's actually when we're stopping our progress. And so in, in a lot of ways we need to be thinking bigger than, than where we are.
And that's something for myself with pivoting to teaching this course, Moms with Cameras, is I kept finding myself thinking small because I would see other photography educators that have been doing this for years and they have a humongous following and like just so many ways to compare myself and [00:14:00] so then I'm thinking small that I'm like, Oh, you know, I, I can't do all the big things like what they're doing.
So I'm going to think small, but I kept having to tell myself like, Okay. No, think big. Like I, if I could be and do anything that I want to do, where would I be? How would that take me? If my business, if I could see it. in five years from now, where do I want to be? And then, and just like, not letting anything stop me.
Not thinking small, but thinking big. And then also, after planning and setting goals, then putting some realistic goals to it, right? There needs to be a balance here, especially as I'm doing this. on the side of being a mom and, but just sitting, learning how to sit in what feels uncomfortable because that's how we're going to grow as we continue to push our boundaries.
So yeah, I [00:15:00] don't feel like an imposter now, like I did back then, like back then I remember a friend of mine, cause I was like, well, I'm not really a photographer. And they're like, no, you're a own it. And I'm like, No, I'm not. Like, I'm using auto mode on my camera. I'm editing with software that just like, came on my computer.
Like, I don't think I have earned the title of photographer yet. And so there was definitely more, and I don't know if I would necessarily call, I don't know if I would call it imposter syndrome as much as it was just like, knowing that I wasn't that. Like, I, I was just a mom with a camera, and I didn't even know if I wanted to be a photographer, but if I just wanted to be a mom with a camera, that's okay too.
And now I feel like, I mean, I take really great images and my photography, I've learned so much. I've been doing photography now for 12 years. And so I'm good at what I do, but there's still. [00:16:00] There's always room to grow. There's always room to grow. There's always room to be better. And if I ever get to a point where I'm not thinking in the mindset of improving and growing, I think that's when my images start to get stale.
And I don't find as much joy in it. I think that's something that I really enjoy about photography is there's always something new to work around and to work with, whether that is. Working with different lighting scenarios. Figuring out camera settings in certain scenarios, or whether it's just like a new subject.
Like, I took a family photos for a family that had seven kids a few weeks ago, and I've never taken pictures of a family that had that many kids. And so it's like, it brought on a new, fun challenge. Or I also, for my son's football team this past year, I volunteered to be their team photographer, and I've never taken football pictures before.
Like, I have a camera, I know how to use the settings, I know all the things I need to do, but it was still a [00:17:00] new thing, especially because I'm not like an avid football player. So I'm like, which direction is the ball going? Where do I need to start? Figuring out all of those things, but it's like, just trying new things and pushing myself in new directions, I think is like, refreshing and exciting.
Keeps things exciting.
Mel: Yeah, yeah, I love that growth mindset is the word that like comes to my mind that the whole time you're just like, okay, there's always something else to learn. There's always something else to learn.
Kyla: Yeah,
Mel: I agree.
Kyla: That's
Mel: a good,
Kyla: concise way of bringing all my ramblings down to growth mindset.
Mel: Yeah, but beautiful, but like, that's the story of that's how growth mindset looks right is everything you just shared. And, you know, we can talk about growth mindset all the time. Our kids talk about it in school now, but it's these stories and the elements. Yeah. Within that actually connected in with like real life, helping us realize what that actually looks like.
Right. Yeah. So you might feel like an imposter and there's more [00:18:00] growth to have. Right. Yeah. So there's a couple of questions coming to my mind. Okay. I think we'll start with this one. The first one being why photos? Why, why do you think is important for people to take pictures?
Kyla: This is a good question.
Mel: And I like,
Kyla: I love pictures. That's why. I, I mean, I, I think there's several things that are super empowering about photos. Uh, one that comes to mind, especially concerning motherhood and photos is our kids. It's amazing how much our kids change so fast. I make it a goal to have family pictures done every year.
I hire a photographer to take our family pictures, even though I'm a photographer and I could like set up a tripod and do all that. I just love the experience of hiring a photographer and have someone else do the work for me. But it's amazing in a year's time, how much our [00:19:00] kids change. And I mean, when they're little babies, they change the most, but even just like going from.
My seven year old turning eight and in that year, I look back on our family pictures from last year and I'm like, Oh my goodness, he's matured so much. And so I think that just for memory's sake, we we forget, we, we think we're not going to forget. And then when we go back and look at pictures, we're like, Oh my goodness, they were so little.
Like, I didn't think I would forget this. Another thing that is so great about pictures is when we hang them on the walls of our homes or we have books in our homes filled with pictures. It's a confidence booster for our kids. They feel of worth to be on the walls of our home. They see themselves with their family.
We're with our family all the time, but you're not seeing yourself with your family because you're yourself, you know, you're looking from inside of [00:20:00] you. And then you see these pictures of you interacting with your family on the walls of your home. And It's looking at yourself from an outside view. And I have seen that being such a confidence booster for my kids.
They love seeing their pictures. They love going through books and remembering memories. And so those two things come to mind first off. And then for me, especially in the style of photography that I do. I hate pictures where everyone is just standing stiff, smiling at the camera, in a stiff, cheeser smile because a kid is being forced to smile at the camera.
I, I, My pictures are, I have fun photo sessions where I prompt families to do things and high school seniors too. I mean, that's a very different realm, but for both of those, my goal [00:21:00] is to have a fun time to, and then leave them feeling loved and empowered and beautiful. And That they had a good time.
That it's not just like you come and you're yelling at your kids to smile and to listen and all the things but that the way they leave a photo session is like how they're feeling at the end of a photo session is just as important as the images captured and like my heart and soul is in that 100 percent and that's something that is a goal at every photo session that I have and so there's a lot of heart that goes into that and when someone I book, my family photo sessions are at least an hour long and that scares families with young kids because they're like, Oh man, we can't show up and just stand and pose and smile for an hour.
I just want to book, you know, a 20 minute session. And I'm like, Oh, but the good pictures happen [00:22:00] after 20 minutes because of how I run my photo sessions that, It's about loving people and that most recent photo session that I did with seven kids in the family. The mom had, told me afterwards that she said something that I love so much.
She said. It wasn't just a photo session, and then she kind of explained why, but she was like, my kids were such a joy on the drive home, everyone had such a fun time, and that to me is so fulfilling, because every single person in that family felt seen, felt heard, felt loved and important, and now they have pictures.
That capture all of that capture all of those emotions on the walls of their home that they can print off and that I just like that really is my passion with photography, and then being able to share that with moms of how they can capture that with their own kids in my moms with cameras course that [00:23:00] it's like, learn how to use your camera, but then also learning to capture your kids.
For who they are because we know as a mom, you can look at a picture and you can say that's, that's my kid right there. That smile, that look on their face versus just them like pasted on smile at the camera and go, yep, that's a pasted on smile at the camera. Like we know the difference. And so yeah, why photography?
Why photos? It's just such an empowering thing, like, that's really what comes to mind for me in so many ways.
Mel: Yeah, I think that's what really comes to mind for me when you're speaking of it, right? There's, you're creating the six, there's the experience side in the moment that you're creating these memories.
And then there's the actual capturing of that and being able to look back at it and remember. And our, like, our bodies will feel all those emotions again when we remember a good time. Right? That's just the science of it. So, I love that. And then there's like this third element for you, teaching the mums [00:24:00] how to do it, of like, I imagine that would be super empowering to know that I can capture these moments, create these experiences, be able to give my kids and myself and my family like something to look at afterwards and remember, remember the And
Kyla: be able to capture those pictures more than once a year when you hire a photographer to take your family pictures, but you can do it.
Around your own home and actually that was something we're fulfilling with taking football pictures for my son's football team was seeing the football players after I'd been taking pictures for several weeks. I mean, and these are this is middle school. So ages, like. 11 to 14, maybe is what we have here.
So they're, you know, at that stage of, they're not super complimentary, uh, they don't love to express emotions a lot of times, but I would have some of those football players come up to me and say, one of them said this, he said, uh, you, you're doing me good with those pictures [00:25:00] you're taking out there or something like that, but he was like, so happy.
I was like, Oh, did I get some good ones of you? And he's like, Yeah, I really, my mom showed me them and they're looking really good. You know what, you could tell that he was thrilled about them and wanted to tell me that, but he also just kind of was Playing cool about it. Is that you're doing good with those pictures out there.
That was super fulfilling that I could capture these pictures of kids out on the field that they feel cool in them. That it's like, Oh yeah, look at me and all my football gear and catching the ball, or even some of the kids that didn't get as much time playing on the field, I really tried to pay attention when they were on the field so that I could get pictures of them because.
I knew their parents wanted good pictures of their kids as well. Not just the stars of the team. So yeah, when you are a mom with a camera and you know how to capture those everyday moments of your kids, like that, it really is empowering. [00:26:00]
Mel: Yeah. I love that. I've said to you since the beginning, I'm like, I'm your ideal client.
I need to do this. I need to learn these skills. I have a DSLR. I don't even know what it's called. It's a beautiful, uh, one that can go quite flat, but. You know, it's, it's such, it's such a good thing. And, oh, I never know what order to ask my questions in. I'm going to go straight into this one because that's where my mind's going.
But, you know, like why DSLR? I've got a, I've got a phone in my pocket. It takes pretty amazing photos these days that AI will just like, you know, do fancy things to for me. Like why pull out, why put the effort into bringing the bigger one around every once in a while to take these photos.
Kyla: Which is such a good question, because really, our phone cameras can do some really great things, and the fact that we can just put it in our back pocket, put it in our bag, carry it with us everywhere, we have it with us anyways, and we can capture those pictures, like, why do you need to have a big fancy camera, [00:27:00] is a really great question, and in some instances, If you don't know how to use your DSLR camera, then you are better off with your phone camera probably.
Because the magic comes when you learn how to use your DSLR camera. Just putting it on auto and taking pictures, arguably. The phone camera can probably do better things just because of the, the different technologies. I mean, I will take pictures with my phone and it, there'll be like a bright background and a dim foreground and it will like automatically kind of mesh the two together and make it look better together.
It will change the, uh, the look of it for that. And so like, it's amazing the technology that we have on phones, but. With my DSLR camera, first of all, those football pictures we've been talking about a few times [00:28:00] what's the frustration of every mom with sports, or with a toddler who's really fast, is you're trying to take pictures and they're just blurry, like you can't get, you can't capture the images as fast as your kids are moving, and that gets to be frustrating.
And there are some smart features that help with that, but a lot of times I feel like it just feels like chance that it's like, Oh, that one is not quite as blurry. Or it can also do things like The phone is really good at mimicking what the big fancy camera does, but it's not perfect at it. Like, if you've noticed, sometimes there's the effect that you can take pictures with your phone and then you can blur the background and your phone is choosing It's deciding what the background is.
So sometimes it will take pieces of your hair and blur it when it's like, Oh, no, that's not part of the background. Or it just does an imperfect job at it. Great technology that does amazing things. But when you have a DSLR camera and you know how to use it, [00:29:00] you're actually doing those things that the phone is trying to mimic, but I can create a blurry background with my camera by knowing my settings and it legitimately is going to take a picture.
In focus at that focal plane and blurry. What's behind that focal plane and I can decide how blurry I want it to be how in focus I want it to be. I can change my shutter speed so that I can capture those football pictures. There were so many times that the coach would yell over to me after a really good play.
And they're like, did you get the shot? And I was like, Yeah. Yes, I did. But it was because I knew my settings and I knew exactly what I needed to do. So in that instant where they're catching the ball, I don't have time to be like, Oh, try again, guys. I missed it. Can you do that play again? Like, no, that's just unacceptable.
And then I'm like, Oh, sorry, I missed the shot. No, but me knowing the settings. I was there. I was ready. I could get the shot. And I feel like when I [00:30:00] am wanting to just, if I'm going to the zoo with my kids, I'm just going to bring my phone most times. I mean, I'm bringing all five of my kids with me. I have a diaper bag with me.
I have a lunch with me. I have so many things I'm carrying. I don't need to carry something else. And my phone can capture those memories. But if I'm doing something, that I want, like, a creative flair to it. If I want to create some magic, if I want to capture pictures that are more than just like a snapshot of the moment, that's when I bring my camera with me my big camera with me.
And, or just doing like fun creative shoots, like I took my kids to a old cemetery and dressed them up as ghosts. We got sheets from the thrift store and we took some fun like Halloween pictures at the cemetery. But I could control the settings with my big fancy camera versus I, if I would have taken those same pictures on my phone, they would have been fun.
They [00:31:00] would have been cute because my kids are in them dressed as ghosts. But like the wow factor really comes in it's just more polished, more refined. I have more control with what I want to do when I understand those camera settings. So if you're, if you have a DSLR camera and you aren't wanting to learn.
manual settings, then I'd say absolutely just use your phone. Don't bother getting a DSLR camera. But if you want to learn, and really once you learn how to use manual mode, it opens so much to you that you really can decide what do I want in this picture, these are the settings I need to have, and you can capture that.
So it just depends on what you're wanting because phone cameras are great, but DSLR cameras, just like, they're going to hold that magic that phones can't do, AI can't match, but you as a human being with a tool can learn how to [00:32:00] create that. Beautiful.
Mel: Love it. Okay. Tell me, uh, tell us more, like, what is your big audacious dream?
Kyla: You know, I don't
Mel: know.
Kyla: I just feel like I live my life at the moment, like pivoting slightly in, in different directions. I, really my big audacious dream of Kyla as a little girl was being a mom and I really wanted to be a stay at home mom. And like, that's what I am right now. So in a lot of ways.
That's my big audacious dream. That's what I'm living right now. And I love it. However, something that I didn't expect was this, like, desire to do more. And and a need to do more for myself as well. As a little girl, that wasn't where my thoughts were as being a mom that it's like, Oh, being a mom is just, you know, like playing with kids and having a [00:33:00] great time.
And which there are a lot of really magical moments as a mom, but there's a lot of care. There's a lot of time and energy and effort that gets put in into being a caretaker and then guiding your kids emotionally. And it's a lot of. Me dumping into them and realizing I need something to dump into myself.
And so, that's what photography really is for me. And so, my big audacious dreams I don't know if I have one right now, like a big goal that I'm working towards, but it's just little pivots. And I think that really goes into how I started with photography, that it's just in the moment, seeing something and going, Oh, maybe I could do that.
And just like a little step in one direction. And And then as I'm doing that, it pivots into something else. And so right now I have my moms with [00:34:00] cameras course, and that was a big audacious dream of the past few years thinking that this is really something that I want to do. And I want to teach other moms how to do this too.
And I did it. I created this course and I launched it. And, and now. I have all these other ideas of courses that I could launch and other things to help moms even further on their journey of, okay, you've learned manual mode on your camera, and so, you know, what's the next step? Do you maybe want to do photography as a side hustle?
I could teach a course on that. Or are you wanting, like, a nature photography master class, like, to learn more how to take, I just love taking pictures of flowers, and so, is that something that I, so I have all sorts of ideas. I'm such, yeah, a creative person and I always have to have a creative outlet. And so I have these ideas and I'm like, okay, settle down, Kyla.
One thing at a time and just like picking away at those things because I know my time is limited. And so I don't know, I think in short, [00:35:00] my big audacious dream is to just keep doing little pivots. Keep pivoting my photography business keep serving moms and helping them in ways that they need the most help in and for that to be my guiding hand in how I, I continue dreaming and moving forward.
Mel: Beautiful. I, I love that. I love that. The dream. Is mother, being a mom, the dream is staying at home, being that mom, and it, and it, and I hear that within still, you know, that, that is the part that is, that is filling your bucket to some extent, and it's like, in order to be able to do that to your full capacity, giving yourself this outlet of creativity and challenge and growth, and it's very clear the whole time we've been [00:36:00] talking that you need those spaces to learn something new, right?
Yeah. And that's almost. And I think that's what it sounds like you're doing, you know, allowing yourself to pivot based on what the idea is or the opportunity that comes up or, you know, where you want to grow and learn that day or that season. Right. And that's, that's amazing. I love that. I love that, you know, it's not like, a one sentence goal that you can just, or dream that you can just like blur it out to me because that's, you know, whenever it is that it's usually years in the making, right?
The reality is most of us are like, well, actually I just, I want to live this life where I am feeling fulfilled and Doing that in service of my family and the community, and that's essentially what you're doing.
Kyla: And there's a lot of trial and error in that too, like we think a certain way, like I thought being a stay at home mom was going to be the most fulfilling thing ever.
And then I realized there was this hole that I wanted to fill. A little bit [00:37:00] different, a little bit, something else. And so it's learning and growing as time goes on and realizing we're different people as we get older and as we learn and grow and we have different needs. And it's important to lean into that.
Mel: Brilliant. Before we go into our final questions, the one that has been sticking on my mind ever since the intro, when you're like, I have five kids and I homeschool, and then you're like, and I'm doing all these other things. I'm like, how does that work? Like, what does life actually look like as a homeschool mom of five kids who's out there also doing these amazing projects as well?
Kyla: Well, in one word, it's crazy. But
Mel: diving
Kyla: deeper a little bit more, I, I love homeschooling. That's actually something else that I never thought I would do. I never thought I would be a photographer. I never thought I would be a homeschool mom. And here we are, I'm doing both. Uh, but it is definitely a huge balancing act and it's not [00:38:00] something that I'm not doing photography full time.
I'm not working 40 hours a week on photography. I'm not doing Solo parenting my kids and doing all the things like I have an amazing husband that supports me and knows the importance of these extra things for me. But our typical like day to day week to week is my mornings. are my kids school focus time.
They know they all have a checklist of things they need to do. I have four of my five kids are school age now, and so they have their schoolwork that they need to do, and I'm floating around helping them with things. Uh, there's certain things they can do on their own, and certain things they need help with, and so, uh, Uh, the mornings are my time to tote around my baby and help kids with schoolwork and try and keep, well, she's not a baby anymore, a toddler now, which means she's into everything and she, she's old enough to know that, uh, they have schoolwork.
So she wants schoolwork too. So she has her [00:39:00] own math book. That's one of her kids or one of her siblings, old math books that she can scribble in and do schoolwork too, like them. But yeah, very much. So we try and get our schoolwork done before lunchtime every day is the goal. That does not always happen, but that's the goal.
And then after lunch, putting my toddler down for a nap, that usually is. my time that I can do things like this right now my daughter's napping and so this is where we're at and my kids Get to watch a show, uh, which they don't always get to do on weekdays. And so i'm like, hey go watch a show That's what they're doing right now.
So they are home with me it's just like navigating these things, right? And then photography ends up being, and afternoons will often have, like, classes we go to, they have a ninja class right now that they're going to a dance class my daughter's going to, we get together with another family once a week to do science class together, and, [00:40:00] Just other things end up happening in the afternoon, and then evenings also are my time for photography.
So photo sessions are booked in the evenings. I find really, like, two photo sessions a month is my cap right now. I mean, if I really want to be busy, I can do more than that, but it's all about balance, and there's a lot I'm trying to balance, and so it's just doing what I can, and evenings, Evenings and naptime are my time to carve out to get the things done that I'm working on for me, for myself.
So, that's kind of generally what it looks like. Although every, every day, every week, every season, every school year even looks a little different. That there's, you know, We don't have like a set, this is what it looks like all the time, because we just pivot and change as we need to. But crazy. It's, it's crazy on a lot of days.
Mel: And do you know what I hear within all of that craziness of juggling so many, many [00:41:00] things and demands and, and such, is that Yes, it is fitting these and squeezing these things for you in, and I can hear the importance of that for you. So, it's going to take some energy, yes, to go out and do the work of actually, like, the things, and I imagine it's also giving you a different type of energy.
That you wouldn't have otherwise had if you decided to sit on the
Kyla: sofa. There's definitely times when I will think to myself, like, what am I doing, like adding more to my plate? If I didn't do photography, I would have less on my plate and I would have more time to do these things. But it energizes me and it gives me purpose.
And it's interesting. I had asked my husband a random question with like no context a few weeks ago to just see what his answer would be. And I was like, What would you say to someone if they were asking for like, [00:42:00] tips on overall women's health? Like, for a mom, for a stay at home mom, overall women's health.
And it was so interesting because I thought he was going to go in the direction of, like, exercise and eating healthy, you know? Like, that's what we think of with health so many times. But the first thing he said was, I think because I was saying if someone was asking me what do you think I would say and so he was like having an outlet like and I was like blown away that that was the first thing he said because he recognizes I'm a very social person and so getting out and meeting new people and just like loving on people is one of my favorite things ever and he can tell I come home like exhausted sometimes from photo shoots but like energized in a different way like you were saying and so it's like Just the overall health of a mom.
We get drained in a lot of different ways. And yes, there's a constant juggle [00:43:00] of like trying to squeeze in time to take care of our bodies, but also taking care of ourselves, like emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, all the things that it's not just about the food we eat and the exercises we do or do not do, but taking care of ourselves.
in things that we enjoy as well. And so yeah, my life would be a lot more simpler if I just cut out things like photography, but I love it. And I think I'm actually more effective in the other things in my life because I have it. I think if I didn't have it, I would like fall into a slump of depression probably because I wouldn't be doing something for myself.
And that's not good. Like nobody's happy. If mama ain't happy, however that quote goes, like These things are important.
Mel: Yeah. I love that. And what it makes me think of is that that's almost the answer to some of our other questions of like, why, why should a mom or the almost the unspoken [00:44:00] question, like, why should a mom that sees your course be like, I have so much on my plate, why would I want to do one more thing?
One more thing. Right. And if the answer is that it intrigues you and you want to learn and you'll find some joy in it, then that's enough. That's where, like, you'll get some energy back to put into the other things, if that's how you feel about it. If it's like, it's another shouldn't tick on the list. No, like, that's not going to feed you.
You're going
Kyla: to be angry about it. One more thing that you're angry about.
Mel: Totally, totally. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so we need to start winding down. So the last question I always ask is a tip that you have to, you know, moms are listening in here. They're thinking, I have a dream. I don't really know what to do with this.
Maybe they're homeschooling. Maybe they have one kid and they're feeling overwhelmed. Like, you know, they're in this space where they've heard what you say, that they want to [00:45:00] carve out some time for themselves. What's your tip?
Kyla: What should I do? I, the first thing that comes to mind is, First of all, take a step back and don't compare yourself to any other mom's journey.
I think we do that a lot as moms, and we see a glimpse into someone else's life. And you had mentioned someone who has one child and is overwhelmed, and I've had that I've had some moms say like, I don't know how you do it with five kids. I'm overwhelmed with one. And I'm like, guess what? I was overwhelmed when I had one too.
Like, no matter what your situation looks like as a mom, there's overwhelming aspects to it, for sure. And there are days when you feel like no one else knows how you feel. No one else is in your same situation. Everyone else has their life figured out. And that's just not true. And so first thing is look to other moms for [00:46:00] inspiration, not for comparison.
I have so many other, Moms that I look up to so much and their strengths are in areas where I have weaknesses and I can very easily get down on myself because my house isn't as clean as theirs or I'm not as great of a chef as they are or I don't do as many like fun activities with my kids or whatever it is that we're seeing.
First and foremost, don't look to other moms for inspiration. Not comparison, uh, but then also dig deep and figure out who you are and what your unique, wants and needs are. And to lean into that and I don't, I, I wish, I'm sure all of us as moms wish we had a magic wand that we could just like make the balancing act of motherhood [00:47:00] and other things in life, uh, just like balance perfectly.
And I just think that's such a huge part of learning and growing in life, realizing that we're just going to bump through life imperfectly. But that you as a mom, you're important. You have value and you taking care of yourself. And following passions and dreams are just as important as us helping our kids follow their passions and dreams.
And so, whatever things you have, uh, thoughts in the back of your mind, uh, to think about how you can creatively follow those. Like, it might not look the same as everyone else. I Part of the reason why I created my Moms with Cameras course is because so many other photography educators out there educate in a way assuming that you're doing this full time.
And I'm like, that doesn't make sense for me. I'm a mom. I do this on the side. And so realizing [00:48:00] as a mom, you're probably going to do things different than how someone else might do it. And that's okay. Like lean into that because that can be your strength. And another thing with it, I'm a very religious person, a very prayerful person.
And that's brought a lot of peace for me in praying and seeking God's guidance in this. And so whether you're a religious person or not, like seeking outside. help and opinions and direction in things you can do, to fulfill your dreams and hopes and passions as a mom.
Mel: Brilliant. Love it. And let's add an additional short tip on, I've got DSL camera, what's one thing I could do differently that would make a difference right now?
What's one thing I can use on it?
Kyla: One thing well, really learning manual mode.
Mel: That feels like a really big thing. I know. [00:49:00]
Kyla: Yeah. I mean, it does seem like a big thing, but I promise you it's not as big as you think it is. Like, it seems so overwhelming. But with that in mind, I do have a free class that introduces moms to manual mode.
So if there's one thing you could do to be better at your DSLR camera, you can go to Take my free class. There's your one thing. Check. And that will help you see things differently a little bit with your DSLR camera.
Mel: Yeah. I don't know
Kyla: if I have any other tips off the top of my head.
Mel: That's okay. I actually think that's a great tip because, you know, it is that, that learning curve that is the initial thing that I'm like, Oh God, do I have time for that?
Right? Yeah. But actually, if you can, uh, you know, convince me that it's not as big as my brain is making it, then, you know, it's much more likely to happen. Sometimes
Kyla: new things seem more overwhelming than what they really are.
Mel: For sure. Brilliant. So if anybody's interested, if they're like, oh my goodness, I love your story for the sake of, you [00:50:00] know, the holistic part of it, being the mom, the homeschooler, the dreams, doing all the things, and or they're listening and saying, yes, I want to learn my camera.
I've actually always thought about it. I bought it because I'm intrigued by it. Yeah. Here it is sitting on my shelf back here. It's very pretty on the shelf in my bedroom, by the way, if nothing else. It does look nice. It makes you feel fancy. It does. But if someone's listening in and wants to find you, where would they look?
Kyla: So everything, you can find me at my website, Kyla shirtz photography.com. KYLA. Shirtz is kind of a weird spelling. S-H-U-R-T-Z kyla shirtz photography.com. You can find me. Everything is linked on there. You can find my Instagram, which is also Kyla shirtz, Kyla Shirtz photography. Kind of my website is the hub for all of those, but that's, that's where you can find me.
Mel: Brilliant. Love it. Thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for [00:51:00] having me. This has been so fun.
If you live on Vancouver Island, then listen up. This is for you. And if you don't, still listen up because it may well eventually be for you. I have started The Courage Club. It is up and running right now with our founding members and it will be launching for real in January of 2025. And it is a space for women to meet new people local in their area you And try new things, build up that courage muscle, take fear along for the ride, and have some fun together.
And if that seems like something that you are craving, that space to get out and do things that you might not otherwise do on your own, but that you do want to do, then You can do it with the Courage Club. Now, courage shows up in many forms. Sure, there's the physical ones that we all think of, [00:52:00] but there's also social and there's emotional courage, and there's so many ways that we can show it.
So you will have an opportunity to decide how you going to do your acts of courage. Head on over to Permission to Be human.ca/the Courage Club and get your name on the waiting list so that you can hear all about it as and when it comes up.
That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, please, please like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over [00:53:00] to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, dreaming big, and out there being them. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Ha ha, just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect.
Let's find out what you want more of. I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and [00:54:00] full permission to be human.
For real, you do.
