Episode 74 - Heidi Esther
===
[00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
Today we get to talk about joy. Not my dog. She's also called joy, but instead we're talking to Heidi, Esther, who is a joyologist, what an amazing title. Right. Meet Heidi, Esther joy ologist. If Mr. Rogers and captain Marvel had a baby. [00:01:00] It would be Heidi Esther she's a cookie baking, strategic powerhouse, mama, and bad poet. Along with two decades experience as a professional relationship builder. And one decade learning from life's trenches. She is an author speaker and certified emotional intelligence life coach. She's on a mission to liberate busy, generous working woman from the laundry list of life. So they may embrace their peculiar genius and well-deserved joy.
It is really actually a joy to talk to Heidi and I. I'm so excited that you get to listen into this conversation. To find her story. And also dig into like, what is joy? Why are we afraid of it? And what is it about our worthiness that we are.
Avoiding or afraid of. So stick around. We go deep. We go [00:02:00] light. It's good fun.
Mel: Hi, Heidi. Hey, how's it going? Welcome. Welcome. I'm excited that we finally got this in the books and we get to chat and find out all about you and your journey and this, well, the conversation of worthiness and where it leads us, but welcome to the podcast.
Heidi: Oh, thank you so much for having me.
It is a delight and an honor.
Mel: Oh, well, I'm so excited that we are here finally together here. So tell us about just who's Heidi.
Heidi: Wow. Heidi is a poet, a big, I should say a bad poet, a big feeler, a Midwestern mama who's been there. I am a woman on a transformational journey, both personal and professional.
And I got, I am at a place right now where I have the honor and privilege and delight of empowering people to really activate and accept. [00:03:00] They're peculiar genius that, you know, intersection of all of that stuff that we try to fix, hide and manage. And they just incorporate it into this beautiful, peculiar genius and help them create the formula to liberate their joy.
So I call myself a joyologist.
Mel: We love it.
And just that concept of liberating the joy, right? Like, tell me more about that. I love that phrase. Yeah.
Heidi: Yeah. So I think that we just like, right. Permission to be human, just giving ourselves this unlimited permission to continue to go after what feels good. So I went on this. It's like, I call it my decade in life's fun house.
And so it was a bunch of life challenges. And I kept coming back to this, like after one challenge after another, like divorce and depression. And I was like, [00:04:00] do you know, how can I, how can I just feel a little bit better? How can I just feel a little bit better and just keep coming back? And what I didn't realize was that I was coming back to like trying to find that, trying to find that joy and not that happy, transient, like.
I got an awesome new like wardrobe kind of happiness, but like, like this kind of baseline feeling of like, it's going to be okay and I'm going to, I'm going to be okay and I'm going to, I'm going to eventually like really enjoy a lot of this and, and just having these like peak moments of like, Oh my God, life is so great.
And then I'd go back into something else. But then I got to this place in the pandemic where I just was. Feeling this really steady, flowy happiness. And I was like, Oh, I think I'm living in joy every day. Like, I have no idea how this happened. I was like a mommy doormat situation. And then like people would ask me to do stuff and I would say, no, thank you.
I don't want to do [00:05:00] that. And here's some other help you can have. And you know, then I would be able to pour into my family and I still had faith during the pandemic. And so I just kind of have gone on this really organic, windy, fractal, messy journey that has ended up with me being a certified emotional intelligence life coach and a speaker and an author.
And I'm finally embracing that I am not a helicopter parent. I am a present parent
Mel: rewriting
Heidi: all of those beliefs, all of those little core beliefs.
Mel: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Ends. You know, it sounds like you've been on quite the journey from, you know, all the challenges that life does throw out, throw at us in different times, and how we internalize those, to starting to shift towards, you know, making this choice for joy, which is a really interesting concept of itself.
That it's not so [00:06:00] much about what's going on around us, but that we can choose where our joy is going to come from and what to say yes and no to, as you say.
Heidi: Yeah. Yeah. And I really, that, you know, at first, the first, you know, decade or so, either was, that wasn't really a conscious choice. The choice was just like, I want to feel better and I don't want to feel like this bad and this happened.
How can I feel better? How can I not fix it? But how can I be okay with it? And yeah. And so then getting to this point where I can, I can actually work with my energy and like, be very conscious of like, Oh, my joy helps me align to my, my internal values and my standards of integrity. And like, makes me feel like better as a person.
And I remember I made this conscious choice at my last employer that I was going to. I was like, you know what, I'm just going to start speaking my truth here. And it was not a safe environment. There was nothing like, like happy, happy, joy, joy about it. But [00:07:00] then like over six, like the six months I was like brave, I became braver and I was like being honest and kind.
And like, I was just like being myself. I, I, unknowing to me, well, eventually I did notice I lost 25 pounds. Like I physically lost that layer, that, that buffer to who I was and I became physically more me. And I knew it would end up in a challenge. So I ended up not staying with that employer but I knew it was coming and I was, I was so.
I was so okay with it. And I was like, all right, this is just my next lesson. And like, let's, let's figure out how we're going to love life now. Yeah. So making it a conscious choice though, is something that, that we can learn to do. It's like a muscle, like the courage muscle.
Mel: Yeah.
Heidi: Yeah. Joyce Joyce is another muscle.
Mel: That's such an interesting way to think [00:08:00] about joy, right? Because so often we are, as humans and in our culture at least, you know, taught to like seek it, to go find it. And as if it's like a destination point. Yeah.
Heidi: Like it's some kind of a treasure chest or something.
Mel: Exactly. Like go find the rainbow, slide down, and you might just find it.
Heidi: On the
Mel: other
Heidi: side, right? Yeah. So I've been talking with people lately about energetic limits. Have you heard of this concept?
Mel: No.
Heidi: So I, I view like, and it goes back to this concept that we are the energetic. Some of our five closest friends are the five people that we spend the most time with. And so.
Yeah. I view us all like we're all at some same rubber band level. And when we when we get like a peak moment, we realize, and this is, this is true for me and I have a whole big story around it. Like when we get, we feel really, really good. If it's goes way outside those limits, we [00:09:00] bounce back. And so it's just, it's just like, right.
So how we exercise, you know, our muscles to become stronger. It's just like exercising that rubber band to have it be more flexible so that we can get to those high points and stay versus snapping back and yeah. And then attracting people who, who have a little, a little stretchier rubber bands. You know, not holding on as tightly to those that, that, right.
We might not have a choice to, to be around, so just holding, holding on, on loosely. And so just kind of just stretch, continuing to stretch that rubber band, just like, just like a muscle, the brave muscle, the courage muscle, the joy muscle, stretching that energetic limit. And, yeah, so, yeah, so my story is that it was my second wedding night.
This is a peachy story. By the way, I'm just going to caveat that [00:10:00] and it was like, I got, we got married on a Prairie. It was like the heat of summer and like all the wild flowers were out and it was just this beautiful, gorgeous day. And I was married and I was like marrying the love of my life. And I was like, it couldn't be better.
And I remember I just sitting up in bed in the hotel room and my spouse was asleep next to me. And I just remember I was just full of this like big tension and it was like, you know, there's something behind it and you can't go to sleep and you have this nervous tension. And so finally I did I had a practice that I did to help me figure out what my emotions.
I, I am on a journey from being a woman from a A very like German left brain workaholic family to someone like started to put words to emotions, but they first came out as metaphors. And so I, I started writing some really bad poetry and then some anger came out because my wife had somewhat upstaged [00:11:00] me that day.
And I'm a I, I can be a limelight kind of person. And so, So yeah, so I got some anger out, but I was like, Oh, I'm actually really not that angry. I'm angry. I'm really proud of her. Cause she's like an introvert and she really stuck her neck out. And I was like, Oh, I love her even more now. And I was like, and then I started crying.
I was just crying and crying and crying. And I just got to this point where I realized it's like the middle of the night. And I was like, I just married someone who loved me for me and not for what. I do, and I, I couldn't, like, that was really, like, amazing and hard to take. And then I uncovered this other whole other layer that I didn't feel that I was, like, worthy of joy.
I wasn't worthy, right? My rubber band hadn't ever stretched that high [00:12:00] in that moment. It was like this big revelation. And then I was like, ah, that's finally I can go to sleep. Now I know what's going on. And it was, it was calm. So, so I don't know if you've ever had, have you ever had experiences where, you know, this, the stretching of the rubber band experience.
So it was like super high, then it went super low. And then I kind of came back to average.
Mel: Yeah, I mean, there's so much in what you just said there, right? Like on what's supposed to be your happiest day of your life. And I can just imagine you sitting there going like, what, what is this feeling? Like all the supposed to shouting at you here, there, and everywhere.
And I'm like, I love that you had a practice and you gave yourself the space to get to the depth of that, to figure out that it's more than what's on the surface. It's like, actually it's because this is the happiest day of my life, that this is so hard. [00:13:00] Right. And I think we do have that, you know, like in positive psychology, we talk about foreboding joy.
So it's like when you're standing over your baby's. bed, whatever it might be, and you're so happy that you think about someone stealing them, or are they breathing, or, like, that's an actual, like, that's what we all do as humans, right? And I think what you tapped into there as well is this other depth of, like, Are we worthy of joy?
And actually, that's terrifying. Like, if I think about, like, the purest form of joy, that, yeah, that terrifies me, right? So, like, such an interesting topic there, of where we go with that. And I'm really curious if our listeners can identify with that. That thought, like, yeah, getting to [00:14:00] this, getting
Heidi: to this point where, and I hear this echoed, at least like in the circle and my circles about, like, I was so happy, but I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Yes. Yes. Oh, we, we have this innate, like tension in ourselves that we can't let go and say, like, Like it's so it's okay to feel this good. Of course we give ourselves permission to feel as low as we can possibly go. We never, we don't, we don't think twice. I say, Oh my God, I screwed up. I did that wrong.
Like I deserve this. This is I'm making everything worse. Like, Oh, I'm just. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go hide in this corner right now and like even when I first, when I, when I used to cry before I got okay with [00:15:00] emotions, I would, like lock myself in a bathroom. Like, I just. Right. I couldn't, I couldn't handle it, but there was just like, like one, it was good that I got it out of now occasionally.
But two, it's just like, we give ourselves permission to like, kind of go through these deep depths of like all the negative, all the negative feelings, right. The negative negativity bias, but like a real, like, like our genius in our, in our joy and our happiness is all on that upside of that emotional scale.
Right. Let's never get up there. Because we don't believe we're worthy of, of feeling good. We're just awaiting the foreboding joy. I love that.
Mel: It's, there's the worthiness and then there's the like, if it is that elastic band, I think there's is,
do we believe that we can handle it when it snaps back?
Heidi: Right?
Mel: Because the further you go, [00:16:00]
Heidi: the
Mel: quicker or the farther you, you can go down. And so, you know, that's terrifying that that's a really scary feeling. And it sounds like. However, we're going to do it, what, what we can do, what we need to do is practice believing that we can handle it.
We can handle the joy and all of the like emotion that comes with that because it's not alone. It's often with sadness like you experience is often like, and we can handle wherever we go back down to. Yeah. Just like the
Heidi: movie. They are, they are a tandem experience. Right. And I have a friend who's a a death doula.
And so like the joy and grief are very, are very close because they're so, they're so powerful. They're on the opposite end of the spectrum. But think about it. If our band can stretch that far down, it can stretch that far up. [00:17:00] Right. And if we can, if we can come up from that, if that grief, we can come down on that joy and it should.
Right. So it's just, it's cultivating that belief. And that's where, I work with women predominantly. I have like a framework that I work with. It's called an authentic leadership framework to get to that, that buzzy liberating joy space. But the first two pieces are the pieces that, that I keep coming back to.
And the first is empowerment, which is really worthiness.
Yeah.
Worthiness has like, as, as sharing with you before, like worthiness has so many other clothes it wears. Empowerment and like self esteem and confidence.
Yeah,
it's really, it's really like that, that worthiness piece. And, and as you were talking, I want to know how you relate to this word or maybe the, those who are listening, like, like not being, [00:18:00] not wanting to go that high with the joy and just be okay with things being okay.
This one word came to mind, like. I don't want to disappoint myself or others like that. Disappointing piece. And I'm like, I don't want to get people's hopes up too high. Right. Don't want to disappoint them. And then maybe the same is true for ourselves as humans, right? We don't, we don't know if we can handle if it doesn't work out.
And we certainly try to make sure it always works out for others, but we want to, we're always care those we are caretaking for in, in stewarding and shepherding.
Mel: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. So what it makes me think of is you know, you said, you don't know if we can handle whether It doesn't work out, but I think that there's also this, I don't know if I could handle it if it does work out, right?
Like, so a lot of people talk, you know, about if they're going to go for [00:19:00] this big dream or start this business or whatever it might be. This, this fear of failure and, and I can identify with that. And have had it at various times, but the biggest one for me is fears of, fear of success. It's, it's not the failure, right?
And I think you've tapped on it there. You've touched on, like, what is that about? That's about, well, what if I'm, whatever success quote unquote means, but what if this work, this all works out and then I can't do it all? What if there's so many things that are going well that I can't hold them any longer?
What if it's so big, there's no space for it? Or,
Heidi: or
Mel: I have yet to get to quite,
Heidi: yeah, and we have this fear of like, we're going to be different. And we don't, you know, part of us doesn't always resist right at, at, at our, at our core. We're just like conserving energy. Right. We're just built to like, want to like conserve energy and all, but like [00:20:00] right now where we are, society is like, we're trying to push that and expend it and, and continue to grow and expand and explore like our humanity and like what is possible for us.
Yeah, but I do think Marianne Williams is like, it's our, it's our light, not our darkness that really scares us.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. And we're taught, like I was always taught. I was taught, I would say with guardrails, don't do this and don't do this. And this, you know, you're not, this is not good for you. And don't do that.
Right. Rules and rules and rules. And all of those are negative. Right. The negativity buying bias. They're not taught. We're not taught like, Oh my God, you are brilliant at doing this. And they're like, Oh, we're taught more to like what we need to fix. How we need to manage ourselves to fit in. And so we're all given these guardrails, but we're never given this, like, what is your dream?
Your parents are like, what are you going to do when you grow up? As long as it's like safe and secure and brings you a stable income and health insurance.
Mel: Yeah. [00:21:00] Yeah. Pretty much. Exactly. Yeah, there's something else coming to my mind, but I'm gonna go back to the one that I originally was thinking because a moment ago We were talking about the elastic.
I love a metaphor. So I'm gonna continue talking and thinking about elastics now, but You know, I said well the further you stretch up the further you fall, but I Then, you know, as we kept talking, I was thinking, well, maybe it's actually, cause if you think of an elastic, if you do keep stretching it really far, it doesn't bounce back.
Heidi: It doesn't. It kind of gets more relaxed.
Mel: Yes. It stays more relaxed. Right? So actually, if we're just stretching little bits at a time, we're not just trying to So the high is a really big drop, but we're going a little bit, a little bit to prove to ourself, just like the courage muscle, right? To prove to ourselves that we can handle whatever it is that comes.
And then we get further. And then, like you say, we get [00:22:00] relaxed. We start to, you know, feel into that joy and, and start to be okay with it and enjoy the joy. Yeah.
Heidi: We can relax up and down. Right. And then move that, move that. Base level.
Yeah.
Like I remember, I should just say, I should say recently, like my, my wife's had a series of like, we've had some really, really nice weekends.
And then like the start of her work week, she's been crashing. Right. Because her energetic level is just not used to that.
And
so then she'll have like some negative health effects starting, starting the week because it's just used to being such a lower level during the week and then expanding that joy to, to the tops, top of everything.
Yeah. But yeah. It does take energy.
Mel: Yeah. And joy takes energy. Yeah.
Heidi: It takes, it takes energy to get there. And then kind of like a commitment and, and people say like, [00:23:00] isn't joy selfish? Like. Like, I get that a lot. Like, why do you focus on joy? Isn't joy selfish? Shouldn't we be focused on productivity or like, like something, you know, something more practical, maybe a word like, like, like I do have a leadership thing, but like leadership or like efficiency or technology and, joy, I guess joy is the word that, I mean, I never really.
Heard it out of, out of the Christmas context. And so I started on my little journey in 2020 and it just, to me, it's why. We are wasting our time spinning on our wheels. It's like, I heard this, there's this, analogy of like, well, if we had a puzzle that has a thousand pieces, but we weren't given the picture of what it looks like, like, you know, how would we do that?
[00:24:00] Versus having a thousand piece puzzle with a picture of what it looks like. Joy is that. Is that compass it's that true north that lets our body like that evolutionary intelligence in our body Our heart it lets those talk
It lets those speak to us where so we can listen and say this is the way like we so much value the mental intelligence And we've learned to negate the the body Tens of hundreds of thousands of years of body and heart intelligence just baked in but joy is one of those things that that helps us Like access that and being able to give it give, you know Let it give us direction and and we all have different varying degrees of like heart intelligence and brain intelligence and body intelligence and and you know, it's just like We're only [00:25:00] reading like the first chapter of a book if we're going with the mental intelligence and then we have to take the book.
We have to do a book report on it. That's going to be pretty questionable versus if we had access to the whole book and then we might have more information. And so I think joy is a necessity. I'm going to stake my, I'm going to stake my flag there.
It's a right and a necessity for us to evolutionarily evolve to to go after how we are just weirdly, peculiarly, brilliantly made so that we can each save our own little worlds in our own peculiar way so that collectively we will save the world.
Mel: Yeah. Beautiful. I love that. And you know, it really taps into for me, the work that I'm [00:26:00] doing around, like, why do we talk about big audacious dreams?
Why do these matter? Aren't, isn't that selfish, right? All the same kind of conversation that you're talking about there when actually in some ways I think it's the opposite of selfish because it is, it is by doing these dreams that will impact the world in the, In the way that we were always meant to do, right?
Heidi: Yeah, yeah. Some big universal intelligence gave us this, these very unique blueprints.
Mel: Exactly. And I don't think we'll really be able to lean into the joy of things until we, until we start to listen to those whispers that are in there, those little cravings, those like, Oh, I really like, well, that was interesting.
Like, I wonder, I wonder. I wonder what that would be like, or I wonder what it would be like if the world did this instead, or I wonder what it'd be like, you know, just, I wonder. I love that.
Heidi: I love that so much. I I use, I wonder in context of [00:27:00] one of my favorite cartoon characters of all time is Winnie the Pooh.
Mel: Yes.
Heidi: And I based my resiliency framework off of Winnie and so right, having that like patience and compassion, but that curiosity, I feel like that's the real, that's kind of like the, you know, the shine on the, on the Winnie right there. And just being able to, to stay open to ourselves. We're so good with everybody else.
We will, we know exactly what everyone needs and thinks and you know, like all that stuff, but like, right. Staying open for us.
Mel: Yeah. I think that's really beautiful. So if someone's listening in there, like, yeah. That's right. Like, I want to step into my joy. That's terrifying. I agree with all these things you're saying.
What would you say? Like, what should they do? [00:28:00] Like what's the step towards that? Right.
Heidi: Yeah. Yeah. So there's there's some real, real practical, real practical things. So on my website, I have a survey where you can complete and there's five main blocks to joy. Okay. And so I will send a results for that but just in a real, like visceral, level, the first step, so always, right.
If you can say like, I am worthy of joy, I am worthy of joy, right. And notice, notice, just notice, practice noticing. What comes up for you and if there's any internal resistance to it, cause sometimes it's really hard for us to speak what we don't believe.
Yeah.
And I went through a series of nine months of core beliefs work.
And so I right. So on rooting all of those unhelpful [00:29:00] beliefs that keep us, keep us stuck. But one of the things that I, I absolutely love sharing with people is this thing called the compassionate co pilot.
And
so so you're a woman who loves metaphors. So here's another one. And so Most when we are like loving and experiencing life and like, right.
Eating that chocolate cake and like smelling that lavender and all that good stuff. Right. We're kind of like in the driver's seat, right? We're getting all the five senses in and, and all that stuff. And just kind of like really enjoying the scenery and life as, as the driver. But we have a whole, we actually have like a whole carload of people, but the most important person in that car is your co pilot.
And so when we're born, our co pilots are like our parents, right? They kind of guide us and direct us, right? They give us those guard rails. So we don't like eat that one thing or like break our head open on like the, you know, [00:30:00] buffet or whatever. And so, and so after a while, our co pilot becomes an amalgamation of the, of those people in our, in our.
Who were in our inner sphere when we were, we're young in that co pilot, has more likely than not to have like a, maybe a critical, like they call it the inner committee, some kind of critical bent in the brain. And so what I, what I, when I work with women, busy, busy, generous It's women to kind of engage the compassionate co pilot.
So everyone gets a little, a little plastic car that actually works and, they get to just, just practice being cognizant of like, who is driving your car,
who's
driving your car. And we do this [00:31:00] exercise of like, who is. You know, what are the best qualities of your best friends that you just absolutely love?
And we list like all these qualities, like trustworthiness and openness and nonjudgmental and right. Compassionate and encouraging and supportive. And so I like that is, that's, that's the person who needs to be your co pilot. That's your, that's your person who's going to say, all right, we've made a wrong turn and it's okay.
And we're going to fake, we're just going to go to the rest stop. We're going to, we're going to get your favorite, like, you know, fast food and we're just going to cry a little bit and then we're going to get back on the road. Okay. We can do this.
Mel: I love that.
Heidi: Yeah.
Mel: Metaphor wise, but also, you know, it is, it really taps into that.
You know, that, that co pilot is the beliefs that we've been given by all these people [00:32:00] that surrounded us when we were really young. And then also now it's our choice, right? It's our choice to shift a little bit with really hard work, where those values, Are going to lie and what our beliefs are going to be about ourselves and the world and the people around us.
And, yeah, I, I, I love that that concept. It's really beautiful. So I'm, I'm curious what, like other people's, like, what's yeah. So listeners, like, what's your co, who is your copilot? Who is it now? Like, yeah, like
Heidi: create your, like who is in that seat right now? Who do you give the power to, right? Yeah.
That person has the, that person has the, that seat has the power.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's all that. We, we listened to that, that direction so, so intimately. And, I know that when my kids were little, I [00:33:00] so, so to find my kids were little, I call my mom every day. I had no idea what I was doing and I figured if I just did what my mom did, I would be a good mom.
Right. And so like, that was, that was, Like how I lived for, for years, which is calling my mom. But in an other random notes, when I was a teenager I had the hardest time picking out clothes for myself, so I'm a recovering codependent. And so like, I would just. Like inquire for my like older brothers, cause they were cool and like my parents and I'm like, you know, you guys need to, whenever it was like a big family function or some kind of big school event, I would just have a crazy meltdown.
Right. Cause they were all in like, I wasn't in my, I wasn't like a bad, there was no compassionate co pilot. My co pilot was just a, right. So these are the people that, that framed it, but. Yeah. So just being real, like, you [00:34:00] can put in whoever you want. If you want to put in like Winnie the Pooh, put in Winnie the Pooh there, man.
He's great. He's going to have honey and he's going to be patient. Right. He's going to drive you to the woods. And you know, those are all great things. But yeah, so just putting, put, put someone in there, you know,
Mel: I think it would have to be piglet. I think it's Piglet. Piglet is glorious. And just sweet and innocent and compassionate and, doesn't overthink things, just simple.
Yeah, he's like the little hoover. He's a little
Heidi: hoover. Yeah, that's so fun. That's so
Mel: amazing. Okay, I could talk for another hour about this topic for sure, and perhaps we will check in at another time with it. But for now, let us know. So if listeners are really intrigued by, actually, I'm not going to go down that path yet, because first I want [00:35:00] a tip.
So a top tip, these are moms or people who are mothering, who maybe are like in the context of our conversation, just like, Oh gosh, joy, like I wish I want to have that dream. I want to have that joy. And I just don't know how to get there. What's your top tip for, for the people listening?
Heidi: My top tip would be, to, to practice, practice saying, and just like, even with like really, really little things and practice believing like my happiness comes first.
Yeah.
So just taking those little steps saying like, you know what, I am going to eat breakfast before I do my two hours of mom chores in the morning. Right. Give yourself permission to put your happiness first in very little ways, but that, that means something to [00:36:00] you. One
tiny, one sip of
coffee at a time, right?
One bite of breakfast at a time. Yeah.
Mel: Totally. It makes me think of, I almost did the, I've done the opposite in order to get that result, which is I used to like shove food in my mouth while I ran out the door trying to get my kids to school. And, for the last few months of school when it was on, I was like, no, I like, I didn't do that.
When I'm not hungry at that time, that's not the way my body really sits. And I want to eat something that I really want to eat, which isn't something I can shove in my face on the way out. So I started having breakfast when I got back and I gave myself like a half an hour to like make a cooked breakfast and really enjoy that process and maybe stick a podcast on and, you know, just like have that moment for myself before I would start work and, It made all the difference.
That's when I usually want to eat anyways to promote that time. You know, I've been up for at [00:37:00] least an hour and a half. So yeah, that's, that's that example. And there was something else that was coming to my mind. What was it? Oh, around your, you were suggesting This concept of saying to yourself, like, I am worthy.
And I have kind of something to add to that, which is what if you had a question around it? If you really, like, as soon as you say that, if in your head it's like, no I'm not. And it's not really doing its job, you know? But one, a really amazing woman Carol, She said to me once, well, we can trick our brains because we're curious people.
So we say, well, what if I was worthy? And all of a sudden we're imagining ourselves worthy. Right, and we're imagining what that would look like and that whole I wonder part that we were discussing before, right? I wonder what it would be like if I was worthy and like our our brains go in this [00:38:00] beautiful direction
Heidi: Yeah, and you can bring out break out the watercolors, right?
Mel: Exactly cuz it's just imaginary. So we're allowed to do it, right? Yeah, but our brain doesn't understand the difference between imaginary and reality So actually it's happening which is, which is pretty cool.
Heidi: Oh, that's beautiful.
Mel: That's beautiful. Amazing. Okay, so if people are like, oh, I really like the sound of Heidi and what she's up to and I want to find out more about all of these things, I want to figure out who my co pilot is, I want her to send me a car, you know, like all these things, where would they, where would they find you?
Heidi: They can find me at HeidiEsther. com and you can always just email me. I'm an email kind of lady at Howdy at HeidiEsther. com.
Mel: Amazing. I love that email address. By the way, I looked at it right before we started, I was like, I want to start my email with Howdy. Brilliant. Thank you so much for joining us, Heidi.
It
Heidi: was an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much, [00:39:00] Mel.
You know when you have that dream or that idea and you hold it really tight and you don't really want to share it with anyone until you have it just right until you are absolutely assured that it is exactly what you want it to be but you also know deep down inside that it is unlikely to get perfect it is unlikely to get to exactly where you want it to be unless you share it with others.
It's when we share it with other people that we get the energy and the momentum. It is when we get feedback. It is when we start to iterate inside of our own minds. We need to get it out of our bodies and into the world in some sort of way. And talking to someone who will cheer you on is exactly The first step.
Now, if you can't think of anybody in your life that you would love to share your dream with in this raw [00:40:00] stage where you're not gonna get the words right and you're worried that they're gonna come back to you and be, yeah, but or ooh, what if? Don't share with those people. If you can't think of who to share it with, then I want to be that person for you.
Totally complimentary, I am launching the Dream Haven and it is a simple message back and forth concept where you tell me your dream and I cheer you on and tell you exactly how amazing I think it is. I can be that safe space for you and your dreams to grow into whatever they're going to grow. It's going to grow.
totally complimentary. It remains your dream, not mine. And I would absolutely love and be honored by being that person who gets to hear it first. So head on over to permissiontobehuman. ca slash the dash dream dash haven. And let's get [00:41:00] this going. Because your dream deserves to be out there in the world.
It could be a project. It could be a business. It could be the change that you really want to see in the world. It could be an adventure that you really want to go on. You got this. Let's hear about it. Again, all you have to do is head on over to permissiontobehuman. ca slash the dash dream dash haven and put your details in and you'll get a video personalized back from me inviting you to take our next step.
That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, [00:42:00] please, please like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, dreaming big, and out there being them. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. [00:43:00] As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you do.
