Building what's right, not fixing what is wrong
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Mel: Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
Hello. Hello everyone. And welcome back. You've got a little short solo episode with me today. It is the summer. And I am looking for some more speakers. So if you'd like to come and be interviewed on the podcast, Do let me know by simply emailing [00:01:00] [email protected]. We're looking for two types of speakers on this show. One is women who are out there living their big audacious dreams who want to share their stories. That might be a business you've built a project you have started or completed, or are working through. Where it might be saying adventure that you went on. The key is that it's a dream that you've had. That both excited and scared you. And it's perhaps still does. And that you've really built up that courage muscle and stepped out there into the world to do it and to start that journey.
And we would love to hear your story if that is the case. So you can just pop me an email and. We'll go from there.
I really wanted to touch on a topic today. That. I've been thinking about for awhile. Clearly because it is. On a note in front of my eyes right now, right behind my community, computer on the wall. I have this quote that I wrote for myself [00:02:00] probably a year ago now. And it says building what's right.
Not just fixing. What's wrong. So often in life, we focus on what is wrong. There's something called the negativity bias and we all have it. It's perfectly normal. It's human, right. It has been built for our survival. And that means that we see the negative. More quickly. And more often than we see the positive. In fact, if we want to see the positive, we actually have to put practices into play. To remind ourselves to see the positives in the world. And the reason I wrote this on my wall is because, you know, I've been building a business or project or. You know, a variation of, for a good 10 plus years now. And I've tried things out and I've spent a lot of time spinning in circles in my head. Trying to figure [00:03:00] out. Exactly what it is I want to do.
How do I. Like make this message. How do I market this? How do I get people involved? How do I bring people in? Because at the end of the day, a business needs people, but also I love community. That's what I do, right. I love bringing people together. So the people were necessary. But what I found throughout this is that in all of the learning that I've done, and I've taken so many courses on the topic of marketing on the topic of business on top of building. Memberships and so much more. The message that has always put across from a marketing perspective is know what problem you're trying to solve. And I get that.
I get it because we can speak to that problem. We can help people feel like they are. Where you are, you know, In the same. Space that I am, that I understand who you are and what struggles you're going through. [00:04:00] And I understand that right. And I've always resisted it. I've always resisted this concept of thinking anything is wrong with you because there isn't, there's nothing wrong with you. Life is throwing challenges at you.
Yes. There's a million things that you are already telling yourself. Are wrong because of negativity bias, right. And I kind of feel like I don't need to remind you of them. Right. Sure connect and empathize because so many of those challenges are the same as my own. And we can definitely do that. But the reason I've wrote this quote is actually. To remind myself that instead of focusing on that problem, what if, what if we flip that on its head and we focus on. What. We want to build. What is going right.
What we want to make even more right. And even better in our lives. And. Well, I'm sure the science of marketing [00:05:00] and such will say that it's going to be a lot harder for me to attract people in that way. I really feel like this is the way to go. Not only from marketing perspective, but also just in life.
Right? What if we focus on our strengths? What if, when we go into that meeting for those of us that have had it, I don't know if you have, but I definitely have where you have your. You know, performance, uh, review or whatever annually and some of my old jobs. And your, yes, sure. You tell them, you know, what's going well, but you really mostly focus on. The quote, unquote, weaknesses, what isn't going well, and how can, what steps can we take to make you better at those things? But what if actually we focused on. What is going well, what if we focus on, okay, what strengths do you have and how are we not using them? Let's use the more. And I really think that this is the way forward. It's more fun.
It's more playful. It makes us feel better [00:06:00] about ourselves. And frankly, we're more likely to go do something if we think we're good at them. And I think the world is missing out on so many of our skills and so many of our experiences and people, because we're telling them that they need. To be really good at something. First. Right.
And we're telling them that they need to focus in on things that they're. Finding hard. But what have they just focus in on things that. Interest them on things, which are generally things that they're good at. Right. What are. What are we focusing on their strengths? And I love all things strengths, as you can tell.
And.
It really shifted for me when I took there's a few strengths, , quizzes you can take out there, which we have mentioned in previous episodes, but, uh, the one that I'm thinking of right now, it's the Gallup [00:07:00] StrengthsFinder. And I loved that. It, uh, one of my top ones that it gave me. After answering a bunch of questions was. That I'm futuristic.
And I have. I identify with that so much. That is, it is truly like led me down the path that I'm on because I said, okay, well, how can I use that skill more? So futuristic means that I can see.
The future without being woo about it, right. That I can, if you describe your dream to me, for example, I am like, oh my goodness.
I see it playing out in my head. It is happening. Let's go make it happen. And sometimes it can be really difficult because other people haven't seen it yet. And they're like, what are you talking about? Like, You know, I can't see that yet. And I have to kind of ease people into. Being able to see it as well.
But my point is. You know, that ability that I have there has led me to the place I am. Now. It has [00:08:00] led me to this podcast. It has had led me to the coaching work. I do. And helped me see that, that strength, if I focus in on it is exactly what I should be doing in the world. Right. Combine that with my beliefs, combine that with. My values and all the other strengths that I have.
I, if I focus on that, oh my goodness. Imagine if I can help people actually see a future. That is positive. That is light. That is. Exactly what they want it to be. Right. If we can help people see that, then it's far more likely. That that future will become a reality. Because our brains start to notice patterns and then our life starts to shift. And we start to create that future that we've trumped up. Right. So. Let's build on what's right. Let's build on what's working, what's working in your life right now. [00:09:00]
Take a moment and really think about that because your brain will be like automatically go into what's not working, but something must be working. What is that and how can we create more of it?
So that's my, my rambling of the day, my thought of the day. I hope it was of interest to you. And I'll speak to you really soon.
You know when you have that dream or that idea and you hold it really tight and you don't really want to share it with anyone until you have it just right until you are absolutely assured that it is exactly what you want it to be but you also know deep down inside that it is unlikely to get perfect it is unlikely to get to exactly where you want it to be unless you share it with others.
It's when we share it with other people that we get the energy and the momentum. It is when [00:10:00] we get feedback. It is when we start to iterate inside of our own minds. We need to get it out of our bodies and into the world in some sort of way. And talking to someone who will cheer you on is exactly The first step.
Now, if you can't think of anybody in your life that you would love to share your dream with in this raw stage where you're not gonna get the words right and you're worried that they're gonna come back to you and be, yeah, but or ooh, what if? Don't share with those people. If you can't think of who to share it with, then I want to be that person for you.
Totally complimentary, I am launching the Dream Haven and it is a simple message back and forth concept where you tell me your dream and I cheer you on and tell you exactly how amazing I think it is. I can be that safe space for you and your dreams to [00:11:00] grow into whatever they're going to grow. It's going to grow.
totally complimentary. It remains your dream, not mine. And I would absolutely love and be honored by being that person who gets to hear it first. So head on over to permissiontobehuman. ca slash the dash dream dash haven. And let's get this going. Because your dream deserves to be out there in the world.
It could be a project. It could be a business. It could be the change that you really want to see in the world. It could be an adventure that you really want to go on. You got this. Let's hear about it. Again, all you have to do is head on over to permissiontobehuman. ca slash the dash dream dash haven and put your details in and you'll get a video personalized back from me inviting you to take our next step.
That is it, folks. This has been Mel [00:12:00] Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, please, please like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, dreaming big, and out there being them. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What [00:13:00] did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you do.
