Episode 67 with Candice
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[00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
All right today, we have a really special speaker talking about a topic that is very close to my heart we have Candice Neveu here to speak with us. She says she's a coach, teacher, TEDx speaker on a mission to help women achieve. They're boldest goals. By uncaging their fullest potential [00:01:00] and building the confidence.
They need to create fulfilling, aligned careers and lives that reflect who they truly are and the impact they want to make in the world. Her dream is to have a thriving, sustainable business, empowering women to step into their brilliance. Because she truly believes that confident courageous women who are living vibrantly and doing work that lights them up will change the world. I want to embody that for myself, for my daughter and for the woman who choose to work with me.
That's what she said about her. How freaking amazing is that I had such a joyful conversation with Candice and can't wait for you to enjoy it as well. And do go check out her TEDx talk as well. She's pretty darn amazing. Enjoy.
Mel: Hey, hi Candice. Hello, how are you? Thanks so much for joining me today. Oh, I'm [00:02:00] excited. I'm excited too because you are like, you are as close as local. Yeah. As I've come, really, or pretty, one of the closest, anyway, so it's really nice to chat to someone who, who gets where I am but I ran into your conversation on another podcast.
You can actually probably remind me what that podcast is called. She Flourishes?
Candice: It's called She Flourishes. Yeah. That is it. With Brenda Jasmine. I did remember. Yeah. She Flourishes,
Mel: which I highly recommend everybody listens to, actually. Yeah. Absolutely. Very much down the positive psychology realm of things.
But I listened to that, I watched your TED Talk, and I was like, Candice, you need to come on my show, you need to be chatting to the mums out there. So I'm so excited that you're here with us today.
Candice: Oh, I'm really excited to be here. And I love that, you know, in the, in the online world, you're so often like, Brenda's in Ontario, so that's still Canada.
But it's usually just, you know, It's great to be with someone who's actually, you know, only about an hour up the road. That's kind of fun.
Mel: Totally. Totally. We'll have to actually meet at some point. [00:03:00] Excellent. Well, so we always start with just who are you? Who's Candace? Who
Candice: am I? I would say right now I, I am, I, I am evolving.
I think that that's, you know, I'm almost, I just turned 48. And so I'm really feeling like an alchemist. I would say that's how I would sort of, in my head, that's how I think of myself. Who am I? I'm an alchemist. Right? Which is sort of froofy, but at the same time, You know, the whole process of alchemy is to sort of transform the lead and the, you know, murky bits into something that's you know, shiny and precious or sort of gold.
And I feel like that's been the practice that I've been on for, well, I guess all of life probably, but, you know, consciously for about the last decade. And I, and it's the work I love to do. So [00:04:00] I, I love. And I love watching other people transform and I love helping them transform. So yeah, I really feel like an alchemist more than anything.
But in a more practical sense, I am also a coach and I work with growth minded women, so usually confident growth minded women who are doing bold things but who get stuck. And so we work on. Never getting stuck again, right? If we can. And I'm a mom of two. I have a theoretically grown 18 year old son.
I don't think they ever grow. They're always our kids, as you said. And then a 14 year old daughter. So, That's me.
Mel: Brilliant. I love that introduction because, you know, it's such a broad question that I get different answers to it every single time. And I love that you went down the direction of still kind of giving yourself a label, but it was like, I'm giving this to myself.
I can [00:05:00] be whatever label I want here, right? Before the coach and the mom and the, you know, et cetera, et cetera. I'm sure you have about 20 other labels you could probably pop on there as well, right?
Candice: Yeah. And you know, That's interesting that you talk about that because I do, I have an exercise that I did for myself and also with my, that I do with my clients about who am I as an actual broad question that does not involve what you do or the roles you play.
Because so often we introduce ourselves, I'm a coach or I'm a teacher or I'm a mom or I'm a, or I'm a wife or I'm a partner, whatever. But that's not really who you are. are. And I think that it's so easy to lose sight of who you are inside, right? You know, like I'm smart, I'm capable, I'm resourceful, all these kinds of other things that can come up when you start to expand that beyond what the role actually is or the job that you have, right?
Mel: Yeah, definitely. And I love that. And [00:06:00] You know, as a mom, it's really easy to fall into the thing of like, you know, who am I or how are you the answer is generally, well, I have two kids, and they're this age. And, you know, and you talk about like, you know, whether they're doing well or not doing well. And, and, and that does impact us for sure.
But is it who we are? It's a part of
Candice: who we are. Yeah. And I think that because a lot of women during that middle phase where we're. You know, whether we're, we have our own kids or we're tending to, we're, we're in a caring role and whatever that capacity looks like, it is so easy to lose our sense of self.
And you know, we're conditioned to, to give over. So, you know, I think a lot of women who I work with are in awakening phase, I guess let's call it, of that late 30s, early 40s, where their kids are, you know, they're in school at least, usually, or, you know, either, or possibly grown, depending on when they had them, but they're having that space, [00:07:00] and they're realizing, wait a second, who, who actually am I?
Especially when you're doing a career shift, you know, if you've always been a teacher. That becomes your identity, and if you don't want to be a teacher anymore, that can cause you to really have a bit of an existential crisis, because who are you if you're not a teacher, right? So yeah, it's a good question and one that we should think about even outside of what we do and who, what roles we play, for sure.
Mel: Mm hmm. Yeah, exactly. And one more thing that comes to mind on that topic is, for me, you know, I'm like, would I, would I say mama as part of that? It probably would naturally come out of my mouth, but I actually think a more appropriate response, which I talk about a lot on this podcast, is that motherine is, is a huge part of me.
Whether that's my, my kids, whether that's my pets, whether that's my husband, whether that's the world, you know, mothering as a [00:08:00] verb is very much a huge part of who I am and I think who most. Mothers and other people actually are as well.
Candice: Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And you know, nurturing is an important, is an important role that we, I think, all carry some responsibility in doing, right?
Especially if we want this world we live in to be other than it is.
Mel: Yeah,
Candice: for
Mel: sure. For sure. That's awesome. Okay. So let's find out a little bit more about you though. So you're, you know, you pulling the labels out, you are the, the, the mom, but also you have done so many other things in your life. And I'm curious if we can like pull some of those out.
I mentioned your TED talk, for example. Yeah. What was that one about?
Candice: So it was about, adults, mid career adults who are returning to school. It's about how, what you need to do to succeed. And it isn't [00:09:00] about studying.
Mel: It is. So where did that come from for you?
Candice: Yeah, so I, so I guess my first big transition that I alchemized into was when I was in my late 20s, I was working for an HR software company, and I, it was a good job, but it was in tech, and it was the company, I'd, like, it had changed, like, three times, you know, as tech did back in then, that day, and I was working 18 hour days In front of my computer and I just didn't like it.
So I decided to go back to grad school because I had this dream that I wanted to teach at post secondary. And so that's what I did. I went back and got my masters in English and I started teaching in 2007. I started working at UVic actually, University of Victoria. And I was there until 2020. And so I guess whatever that is, 13 years or so.
And during that [00:10:00] time, I also had the opportunity to teach at other post secondary institutions around the South Island. And a lot of the folks that I was working with were Take care. You know, they were first years, sure, some of them, but then also a lot of mid career professionals, and I found that the folks who were coming to me, and even just over, just even the first years, they're, they're, they didn't have a skill problem as much as a confidence problem, because You know, whether you're coming out of high school, you are an excellent learner because, well, you just did it for 13 years.
Like, you're an expert. Really. And so, yeah. So, learning things isn't always difficult, but believing you can learn. And I taught first year English. And so, people already came in with this idea that it either sucked, they didn't like it, or they can't do it. And so I started the term always with that is the challenge and I allowed people to express how they felt about [00:11:00] that.
So we get the elephant out and then I said about, you know, either getting them to neutral or ideally getting them to better. And over the course of my teaching career, I was able to see that confidence, especially building the confidence. overcame things like perfectionism, procrastination you know, comparing each other, themselves to others, a deep fear of failure, like all of these things came up.
And so when we could shift the conversation from, I can't, to I'm trying, or I'm doing this, or I'm learning, that became such a powerful driver and was actually the impetus for my next career change, eventually. So. So it's a, it's an, it's a topic that I think not enough people, you know, they think, oh, I just need to learn how to write an essay.
Yeah. And [00:12:00] that's not going to help you if you don't believe you can write.
Mel: Yeah. The, the content of what you learn is less important than whether you believe you can.
Candice: Yeah. Yeah. And that you have that, again, growth mindedness about it. You know, I am learning, or I don't know it yet, but I'm learning, right?
Favorite
Mel: word, yet. I love it. Right? It makes such a big difference to just put on, you know, I can't do this yet. It changes the visual that you get in your mind, right? Because you would visualize yourself writing that essay in the future, as opposed to the fact that it's really difficult right now, right?
Yeah,
Candice: yeah, there was this absolutely adorable story that I used to read to my kids from a French, I think it was a French author, and I can't think of the name of her right now, Valerie, Valerie Klum, I think, but she, it's a story called When Pigs Fly, or something like that, beautifully illustrated, but it's about this pig, and, More.
I don't remember his name, but he was determined that pigs could fly and he would go through and everybody [00:13:00] he met along the way would tell him like, you're crazy. Of course, pigs don't fly. And he's like, not yet. They don't. And he would just go through this whole story. And it's the I won't spoil it because you should totally read it, but it's just such a cute ending about what is possible when you believe.
And also the way that. You, you approach things not just from a positivity mindset, but the way that it enables you to have a broader perspective on what is possible because, and I fall into this trap periodically too, but I used to do it all the time, was we focus on how something's going to happen, right?
We focus on, oh, I need to know exactly how it's going to unfold. But in fact. We don't usually need to know how it unfolds. We just need to know what is going to happen, like what is we need to do, right? The how will present itself the more that you start taking action towards what you want. But, you know, the [00:14:00] how we, our brains like to get into the details, but that's where fear can And disbelief can start to take hold.
Mel: Yeah, definitely. I've been doing a lot of research around worry and anxiety right now. And, you know, that's, that's the voice of, of worry saying, so like, how, how? Tell me every single little detail of what's going to happen so that I know I'm safe. Which brings me to my question of, you know, you've used the word confidence.
We've also, we've also thrown the word courage in there, and I'm curious of what your definition of both those words would be.
Candice: Hmm, that's good. Good question. So confidence. I'm not sure if I have an exact definition, but I think for me, confidence is a feeling and it's an action. So there are two things.
You can, if you, you're, if we wait to feel confident, we may never do anything. [00:15:00] But, but we can take action with confidence. And all that really means to me, I think, is that, that there's some degree of self belief that you can do a thing or you can try a thing and it's okay. Right? I think a big misconception around for people when they look at, you know, if they don't feel confident, they look at confident people and they don't think confident people are scared or afraid.
That is so not true. Confident people are scared all the time. And I think that brings us to courage. Which my favorite definition of courage is from Susan David, her book on emotional agility, which is amazing. Everyone should read it. Is she describes it as, Courage is fear walking. And that's really also kind of what confidence is.
Like, you move through the action, and the more that you take the action, the more self belief you build, the more confidence you build, then it just kind of snowballs, right? And you get to a point eventually where [00:16:00] something that you used to be terrified of, now you don't think too much about. You know, you don't, you don't think about it at all.
You're like, oh yeah, I can do that thing. Because you took the action and built the confidence to do it, and now from a place of confidence, you're, now the feeling is there. You can look back and go, huh, can't believe that scared me before. Right? So, yeah.
Mel: So, reflecting that back, it sounds like courage is the action with fear.
Doing the action even alongside fear, taking it along for the party, right? And confidence is the feeling that we can handle doing those courageous things. It's the feeling that we've got this.
Candice: Yeah, at some level, like even if it's not a hundred percent, but it's a willingness to try and it's a belief that you'll figure it out.
Right? Like, you'll, you'll figure it out. And if you don't, that's okay, too. Like, there's a certain element in confidence that involves self compassion, [00:17:00] too. Because, you know, confident people typically are also, like, truly confident people, are growth minded, are open minded, understand that failing can happen.
Don't don't beat themselves up over much, you know, I mean, we all do it a little bit, right? But they understand that it's okay. It was hard. I tried. I'll try again. You know, what's his name? Adam Grant talks about this concept of confident humility in think again. And I love that idea of which is kind of touching on that compassionate piece.
Like they're not trying to know it all. Right? They're like, oh, I feel like I can figure, I believe in myself, my ability to learn. I might not know how exactly yet. I might not know what's going to happen. I can't control some things, but I believe in my ability to learn. And that's, that's where confidence really intersects and then the courage walks hand [00:18:00] in hand with that because to try something, especially outside of your comfort zone, is really scary.
And it's scary in part because those voices you were talking about with worry and, you know, those are there. To keep you safe, to keep you in the familiar, even if the familiar isn't something that serves you anymore, it's familiar, so your brain thinks, oh, it's efficient, I like it here, because I don't have to think about it, it doesn't take any energy, and I know what happens in this space, but when you say, okay, but that's, that's, that's I want to do this instead.
Your brain's like, oh, that's like a, that's like a lot of effort. And I don't want to do that. And the inner critic will start and will say, you know, I don't think you should do that. You sucked at that. Remember when, you know, you were in the third grade and you like totally bombed that spelling test, you suck at spelling.
And you know, the next thing you know, you, you know, like I hear all the time, I [00:19:00] can't write. is what I hear all the time. And I think, well, like, you literally can write. I'm sure you can write, but let's unpack that. Right? Because Ms., you know, Hendricks in fifth grade told you that you didn't know how to write anymore.
You couldn't use punctuation or whatever the case was. That's now the voice that's in your head, but that's not the one that should be leading you. Right?
Mel: Yeah, and I think what I really love about what you're doing there is you're normalizing the fact that we all have these voices in our heads, like those people that you're, you know, even us, if you're listening, I bet you there's people that are like, how is she on a podcast?
How are they doing this? And they think like, they don't have, you're talking about courage, you must be the bravest person I know, you don't have fear, you don't have the inner critic, you don't have this voice in your head that's telling you that in fifth grade, someone told you X or Y or Z, right? Right.
Right. We have those. Oh yeah. Yes. A hundred percent.
Candice: Yeah. Yeah. And you know, there's the story I shared on She Flourishes was my experience [00:20:00] leading up to my TEDx, right? Like I went into the most intense imposter syndrome swirl I had been in, in, I like memory. I, you know, cause I, I was like, I've got this, I'm pretty confident, I know how to get out my gremlins.
It's this, you know, bonus of being a coach and you use your tools on yourself and you Oh my goodness, I was not prepared for the upper limit that hit me when I went to you know, try and practice to get on a TED stage. Yeah. Like, that was next level. And, you know, it was very, it was an excellent experience to remind me that, A, humility is a thing, so let's not get too big for my britches there.
And B, you know, It's a reminder of just how, how intense that fear can be, and the stories that we tell ourselves, and the effort it [00:21:00] takes to hold on to the why of what you want to do, and knowing that I had made a, I had made the decision to be more visible, and that was important to me, and it had to be important enough to overcome.
The fear.
Mel: Mm hmm.
Candice: And it eventually was. Like, like, the day of. The day before I finally got to that point. But it, it was a, it was a journey. And so, yeah, we totally, and I think that when the idea that we're not, we reach a, we reach a point where none of this happens is not the way we should approach that at all.
Right? Like, this whole life. if we're doing it right, is a journey of evolution and self discovery and next leveling and next leveling and next leveling. And I was talking with a client this morning about, you know, she's also a coach and she was talking about how she's, she knows all of her blocks down here.
She can't find blocks, but she recently [00:22:00] came across two other blocks and she was totally stunned because she didn't see them. And this is what happens is that as we reach next levels, as we figure things out, as we build the confidence. we get higher in the tree, right? We start to notice, oh, that thing, I didn't see that coming because it's a new way of it showing up.
It gets sneaky. So we're always learning and we're always growing and we're always evolving. And yeah, inner critics like, oh yeah, mine, mine, I call her Frankie. She's feisty, feisty Frankie. And she is Frankie. She loves to have her say,
Mel: I love that metaphor of the tree, you know, one because I love trees. If you've, if you've listened to anything on this podcast, I'm a big, I'm a big nature tree person, but also just, you know, The fact that we, like you say, we are, we're going up the more that we, we're stepping away so we see more, right?
The [00:23:00] more that we grow, the more that we develop. And as you say, we are going to do that for our whole life. If we don't, we're not going to be happy. We're, we're designed to stretch ourselves. We are designed to, you know, I always think of that kind of, what's the word? Like bullseye image with the circle in the middle, that's your comfort zone, and then you've got your stretch zone outside that, and you've got your red zone, don't go there kind of zone outside that, and, you know, this tree metaphor is, is a very similar concept, right, so, you know, the, as we step into the, the stretch zone, we are showing ourselves that we can do it, so actually our comfort zone expands a little bit, but then, we're like, oh shoot, but the stretch zone still exists.
Like it's still the next branch of the tree, right? Thank goodness it is, because I actually think what happens a lot in this transition to motherhood, in this transition to the next [00:24:00] phase, whatever that might be, if your kids are out, you've got more space, is that we kind of
think we have it, but we also get a little, this is going to be a really harsh word for it, but bored. Right? Because perhaps we haven't been stretching ourselves in some areas of our life that we wish we were. Because our focus has been elsewhere for very good reason. You know, mothering, amazing. We are changing the world purely by doing that.
And if you have that desire to grow, then find a space to grow. You know, it doesn't have to be that business. Or that, you know, but it could be anything, anything. Yes.
Candice: Yeah. And you know, it's interesting that one thing that I see sometimes is that when we go through a period where we're carers, We can, and I sort of touched on this at the top, like, we can forget who we are and [00:25:00] in the transition towards whatever's next, you know, and even when you're starting to get bored and you're starting to be like, oh, what am I going to fill my time with?
There may be a sense of, Restlessness, I think, around that, where, and, and I think it can also cause a little bit of a panic, because you start to realize, oh my gosh, who actually, who actually am I? Like, do I even like this, or was I just doing this because that's what my family wanted me, like, we'd like to do, like, together.
And you, and that period of self discovery can feel kind of uncomfortable, and it's okay that it does. because you are essentially doing what your teenagers are doing. You're reinviguate, individuating. And so discovering who you, who you are now at, you know, mid, mid thirties to early forties, whenever your kid, whatever's happening with your family or whatever that period, [00:26:00] you are not 20.
Anymore, right? And who you are and is different. And so remembering to relearn because I think that can be really nerve wracking for people, you know, I noticed that with, you know, I, I felt that originally I felt lost. I felt like I didn't know what I wanted. I felt incredibly restless. I wasn't happy in my job anymore.
Because I wanted to help people in more. nurturing ways than I could, was really allowed to do in the classroom. You know, I was supposed to keep it about writing, but I still tried to, like, because I could see so much of the confidence piece being an issue. So I, you know, coached without knowing I was coaching in the class.
And, you know, but that, that felt really destabilizing for the first while, because it, but I think that it's important to remember that's exactly how it's supposed to feel. Like, you know, if you're feeling swirly. [00:27:00] You're doing it right, in one way. Right, because you're uncovering who you are, what you like, what, what pulls on your heart now, where you want to direct your mothering energy next, like, how do you want to make an impact in this world?
What does that look like? And also believing that you are more than your roles and jobs to date, right? Because for some women, it can take it over.
Mel: Yeah. Definitely. And what comes to mind for me is, you know, the importance of, of during that what did you call it? When we, when we feel, it wasn't sticky. It was Swirly?
Swirly. Swirly. Yes. I love that word for it. Right? I love it. And we're feeling swirly and that that's normal. And that during that swirliness, we are questioning who we are now, but we're also questioning, like, [00:28:00] what have we done? And we're quest and then we have all this guilt around it because do I not like being a mom as much as I thought I like being a mom?
And like, it's okay because that swirliness comes through any transition, any growth stage from that, from that comfort to that risk zone, right? Or to the stretch zone. And, It's meant to be there. And it's meant to go, we're meant to have all these questions, and then come out of it going, No, I love being a mom.
And I'm at my next stage. I want to do this, or I want to be this, or I want to try this, or I want to grow in this way.
Candice: Yeah, exactly. And going back to the idea that this is a journey, like this is the, this is a road that you'll walk across your lifetime. And that, you know, you'll learn things and then sometimes you'll find yourself.
back learning the thing again. And you're like, have I not been here once already? Like what the frick is going on? And I love I if you [00:29:00] if if you're frustrated by why do I keep falling into this trap? It could be that, you know, the what I find useful is the image of this forward spiral or the upward spiral if you prefer, right?
That you are coming back around to familiar territory. Yeah, this looks familiar, but it's not the same. Because you are not the same. You might have learned something, maybe. Maybe not enough, obviously, for the first time, but You get another chance. You get to apply that learning again and then take it and deepen what you learned.
And so, you know, that swirliness also can move you forward along the journey. And then you can find yourself back there, like I did with my imposter syndrome, all cocky. I've got this figured out. No! And, but now I understand it at a deeper level. You
Mel: know, you probably did learn just the right amount the first time.
to do whatever it was you were trying to do. Because, like, let's give the attempt stalk example again. [00:30:00] If you're I'm guessing you've done lots of different practicing before then that stretched your limit, right? Maybe you went on another podcast, maybe you taught, for example. You practiced speaking in front of people.
So the first time you went through that upward spiral, you're like, Oh, this is like, like, I don't know. Do you remember the first time you taught in front of a class? Oh my gosh, yes.
Candice: Oh, yeah. Yes, I do. And I, I actually had to pep talk myself in the bathroom because I was terrified. Terrified. And I was terrified that they would, you know, back then I was terrified that they would judge me like I didn't look good.
I didn't, I had a lot of body image issues back then. And I was, so I actually had to coach, I didn't realize I was doing this, but I was coaching myself. Like, what is the fear? What do I hope to have out of it? And I kept it really simple, but I had to create a journal for myself to debrief after every class, because my brain was in such a high state of, [00:31:00] Of freaking out.
Yeah. That it was hard to, to show up in front of class. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. It's, it was really, really hard.
Mel: And then so you learned just enough to be able to get up there and teach and that presumably became a little more comfortable as time went on.
Candice: Yeah,
Mel: eventually. Yeah. I got there eventually it took its time.
But you learned just enough now, if someone at that stage had gone to you, I want, I want you to come do a Ted Talk . Right. Exactly. That's red zone. That's like no freaking way.
Candice: Yeah, yeah, no, no, that would have been a hard no.
You know, I did my talk in 2023, so we started in 2022 in the fall. Had someone even said to me in January of 2022 or even the fall or like 2021 and said, Oh, let's go do a TED talk. I would have laughed in their face. Yeah. So, you know, you do, but that's, that's that whole point of growth, right? Exactly.
You're spiraling forward [00:32:00] and learning new things and learning more depth and expanding your comfort zone every time. It's not comfortable work, but I think that's important. to remember that it's okay that you're uncomfortable, like you can get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Like it doesn't mean you're not safe.
It just means you're being challenged.
Mel: I love that. So you've had this challenge, you've had these career changes. What's, like, what's the next one?
Candice: Well, I am still living into this one. This one is still, I'm still really working into my spiral. So after I, I taught for a while, I chose I decided that I would go into my business full time, and I built my side hustle up to the point where I could do that.
So, not related to COVID, but it turned out that it happened at the same time. I chose to leave the university and go into my business full times in 2020, April 2020. [00:33:00] And it's been great. I'm still, like, I just want to do more of it. I want to expand more of it. Because I'm I'm absolutely, like, on a mission.
Mel: Yeah, tell me about the mission. So I've always, I always ask, what's the big audacious dream?
Candice: Yeah, I mean, I mean, on a personal level, I probably, I just want to travel. Like, my daughter and I are just dying to go places. But beyond that. You know, for myself, I am so passionate about women stepping into their brilliance, like going after their goals and really fully actualizing as much as possible and taking that courageous action because I am very deeply of the belief that The more women who step forward doing that, the, the whole tenor of the world will change.
And we've been on that movement now. It's been happening for, oh, I don't know, about 10 years or more. You've, there's been an unawakening and there's a lot more of that happening. [00:34:00] And I really feel again, back to that confidence piece that so many women have said, It's such amazing dreams and such powerful goals to make an impact in the world.
And it, the world seems scary, but I mean, it could be their microcosm world. It could be their community, it could be their town, it could be their country, and it could be globally. Who knows? But their contribution. Raises the vibration and I am just passionate about helping women do that. So I am, you know, I'm trying to, you know, do my part in that through my business, but yeah, I just want to be super busy with people so I can do this because I just, women just need to.
Just shine. I'm just absolutely passionate about it.
Mel: I don't think I could love what you just said any more than I do. It pretty much defines like, you know, why I want you [00:35:00] here talking to me right now because it is so similar and so aligned with my belief as well. It's like, you know, raising that vibration.
I love that description of it. So thank you for doing what you're doing for what you will end up doing. Whatever, you know, whatever the how is. Yeah. That turns into, that's the core, that's the why, and that's beautiful. And actually the dream of traveling with your daughter perhaps aligns perfectly with it.
Candice: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's the, you know, just being able to allow, like as a mom, I think that's part of what we do with our kids is enabling them to see the world and what's possible in bigger, brighter ways. And as a, as a, you know, mom of a daughter, that's important for me too. And being able to. Have her see things in ways and believe in possibilities, and also be aware of, you know, intergenerational things that I'm carrying that I want to stop so that she doesn't have to carry that forward as well.
So, yeah, and travel, we share a [00:36:00] passion for traveling and I think traveling is the best way to expand your mind. Well, one of them anyway, but yeah, it's a fantastic way to expand your mind.
Mel: Brilliant. I love it. Okay, so as we start to wind ourselves down, because I could actually probably talk to you two for about two hours, but we'll pause it for the day.
But let's let's, we always finish off with your top tips. Like if you're thinking about the woman, the moms, the people mothering out there, and you know, what would your thing that you would love to say to them so that they can go and raise that vibration of the world?
Candice: Hmm, I think that the The very first step really with anything is, is what I call connection.
So connecting to yourself, specifically, know your why. Now that's going to be an uncovering process, right? [00:37:00] You might wake up one day and go, I have it! You know, it might be more of an uncovering and excavation process. You know, when I look back over my career, I saw the common thread around what I was doing and thought, Oh, okay, I've had the same why forever, which is helping people tap into their potential.
So and then, of course, I just directed it towards the way that I want to express that now, knowing your why, but I think so many women need to connect with themselves. Like we were talking about earlier, who am I, what, what is my, and trusting your instincts and your intuition and listening to your body wisdom and just really grounding into who you are.
And I know that isn't like, you know, concrete in some ways, but it's honestly the first step. In, you know, and if you skip it, that's totally fine. You'll find yourself back there. Eventually, [00:38:00] so I would say knowing your why knowing who you are starting to really believe in yourself and recognizing your gifts.
Is, is, is powerful, powerful work. Powerful, powerful work. And
Mel: hard.
Candice: It is. But you know what? There's amazing people like me and you to help them.
Mel: Yeah.
Candice: Exactly. Lots of places. But yeah, and it's, it's It is, but it, it's so incredibly powerful. Like, I don't, you know, once you start to come home to yourself, you, you just, like, your whole life transforms.
It really does, even in small ways. Small ways of coming home make big ripples in the world.
Mel: Beautiful. Excellent. If people are listening in and saying, Oh my goodness, Candice, I want, like, what [00:39:00] is this TED Talk? How do I find you? I love the work that it sounds like you're doing and what your mission is.
What would they do now?
Candice: Well you can find the TED Talk linked on my website, along with everything else about me at improveyourself. ca. And that's probably the best place to find me. I know that I've, you can find me on social media. If you just Google Candice Neveu, N E V E U, then you'll find me on Facebook and Instagram.
Those are my main places I hang out. You can find me on LinkedIn. I'm not as, As frequent on there, but you can find me there. And in terms of if you're wanting to work with me, the first step really is to book a discovery call, but I do have a group program that I'm starting up soon called Lumina, which is Lumina's women's collective.
And that is where we help you take that bold action towards making your, your dreams a reality. And, and. So that you aren't ever stuck again because that is, we're so held back by [00:40:00] self doubts and uncertainties and fear and that's totally normal and it doesn't have to be that way.
Mel: Beautiful. Thank you so, so much for joining us today, Candice, and having this conversation.
Thank you. It was my pleasure. I really enjoyed it.
You know when you have that dream or that idea and you hold it really tight and you don't really want to share it with anyone until you have it just right until you are absolutely assured that it is exactly what you want it to be but you also know deep down inside that it is unlikely to get perfect it is unlikely to get to exactly where you want it to be unless you share it with others.
It's when we share it with other people that we get the energy and the momentum. It is when [00:41:00] we get feedback. It is when we start to iterate inside of our own minds. We need to get it out of our bodies and into the world in some sort of way. And talking to someone who will cheer you on is exactly The first step.
Now, if you can't think of anybody in your life that you would love to share your dream with in this raw stage where you're not gonna get the words right and you're worried that they're gonna come back to you and be, yeah, but or ooh, what if? Don't share with those people. If you can't think of who to share it with, then I want to be that person for you.
Totally complimentary, I am launching the Dream Haven and it is a simple message back and forth concept where you tell me your dream and I cheer you on and tell you exactly how amazing I think it is. I can be that safe space for you and your dreams to [00:42:00] grow into whatever they're going to grow. It's going to grow.
totally complimentary. It remains your dream, not mine. And I would absolutely love and be honored by being that person who gets to hear it first. So head on over to permissiontobehuman.ca/the-dream-haven. And let's get this going. Because your dream deserves to be out there in the world.
It could be a project. It could be a business. It could be the change that you really want to see in the world. It could be an adventure that you really want to go on. You got this. Let's hear about it. Again, all you have to do is head on over to permissiontobehuman. ca/the-dream-haven and put your details in and you'll get a video personalized back from me inviting you to take our next step.
[00:43:00] That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, please, please like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, dreaming big, and out there being them. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be [00:44:00] human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you do.
