Top Tips from year one
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[00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
Happy birthday to us! It is one year since this podcast, Permission to Be Human, the podcast has come into fruition. That's not even counting the trailer that happened a little while [00:01:00] before. I'm so excited that, one, I've made it this far. being consistent every single week. An episode has come out Tuesday morning, 7am PST.
And you know what? I'm so excited that people are listening because I really believe in this message that mothering is what's going to change the world. And you moms and you people mothering with big audacious dreams, we need to support you to be your best self. Right. And to have those big dreams. So thank you so much for showing up and listening to this podcast, whether you've listened since the beginning or this is your very first episode, I am so, so grateful and appreciative for you being here right now.
, I am going to be giving away two pretty incredible prizes. I'm going to be giving two coaching [00:02:00] packages for possibility coaching where you get to work with me one to one and look into what your big audacious dream is and how you can get there.
I will support you. I will cheer you on and I am so excited to do just that. So two packages are coming your way. For those people who do the following, , to really support this podcast, please go on Spotify and rate us and follow us. That will also make sure we get in your, in your list. So it shows you when a new episode comes up. And if you're on Apple, then you can go in there and rate and write us a review. That really helps me and the podcast to be seen by more people.
So thank you. And yeah, I'm gonna, whoever does will be entered into a draw. [00:03:00] And on Saturday, I will. Find some magical online tool to pull it out of a hat and see what, see who wins those two coaching packages. I'm going to add another one on and I'm literally just thinking of it right now, which is, I have a beautiful bookshelf behind me.
If you're just listening to audio, you can't see it, but it is lovely and color coded and gets commented on a lot. And I'm going to let you pick your favorite book off my bookshelf and send it to you in the mail. So that's pretty awesome. These books are full of like science backed tool, positive psychology, inspiration, parenting, strength, faith models.
There's so much good stuff up there. So I'm going to send you a book that will be a third prize. So hooray, hooray, it's one year. It has been quite a week with a podcast coming out every single day prizes coming out. Uh, later this morning, [00:04:00] 10:00 AM PST, May 18th. If you haven't done it yet. Do what we just explained above and read and view to get in it. So in celebration of one year of this podcast, I have brought together all of the top tips from the episodes. During year one. These are every guest that has come on the show. Has been asked to give one tip at the end of the episode. And I've collated them all together. So these are tips on your wellness wellbeing. Mental health. Going after that big dream, they really vary, but they are the thing that each of our guests thinks that you as mothers. Or people mothering and listening to this
need to know. To better your lives. So enjoy this. Mixture of tips. .
First we have [00:05:00] Carol Williams Love.
You deserve this type of self care and do it throughout your day all day and celebrate whatever it is that you're doing and allow yourself the gift of building your resilience and then pulling out the havening when you need it also for that reducing stress as it pops up and gift it to the kids. I mean, like, This is something you want to enjoy and make sure that you're sharing it freely.
Let that ripple effect happen.
From Sarah Treadwell
Sara: set your intention of where you think you want to go. I would suggest it to be as broad as possible. Not I want a red car, you know, but say I want a safe way to travel. Let's say as an example of the broadness and then. Try to find ways in every day that you've done [00:06:00] something towards that intention.
Find things in your life that have fit into that for you. Not an active, Oh, I have to do something today. But notice the ways that the opportunities in every day align with that intention. Say that intention every day and then look around. It's like a mystery puzzle. You're on a journey. Look around for the things that fit.
It into that intention so you can be noticing them as they show up versus thinking you have to wait 10 years for them to be there for you.
Dr Crystal Morrison
Dr Crystal Morrison: I would say, especially to moms that are, they just have this idea. They have this kernel in their head that they just can't quite loosen up. It could be a dream. It could be a business idea. It could be any number of different things is to try and carve out at least a little bit of time to put pen to paper or to putting your thoughts on paper.
The basic thing, why does this matter? [00:07:00] How could I accomplish this? Start brainstorming on different things and really start as simple as And I know that's what I did early on as I was starting to contemplate a career pivot. And then the last part of that is who are the people that I need to talk to, or I need to bring into my life that can help me move this forward or provide the right networks to help me move this forward, but really that basic, what, why, how, and who, and to start thinking through, because that helps you writing things down.
forces you to be a little bit more concrete, to add a little bit more details, to add a little bit more meat to it. And that's a really great starting point. And so that would be my suggestion as that, that starting point. And this applies to even if you have pivoted careers. I tell my kids, I don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up because we're constantly growing [00:08:00] every single day.
And so I may have the new idea or a new thought on how I want to shape things for Meerkat Village. And I try to do that same thought exercise. What is it? Why is this going to be important? How are we going to accomplish this? And who do we need to bring on board? Or do I need to get in contact with to help make that a reality?
And so that's just The little mental exercise I do, and I personally find that by writing things down or typing them out, it forces me, like I said, to be a bit more concrete on making it happen.
Anna Wolfman
Anna: The only thing I would just say is honor that voice inside and that fire inside. You wouldn't be having this idea or this thought unless it was meant for you to have and to explore. You wouldn't be listening right now to this podcast unless you had some sense of curiosity about what else is out there, right?
So just honor that part of you that is in this space and in this journey and trust [00:09:00] also that the right thing will come to you at the right time and trust the journey. Don't put pressure on yourself to know everything that you need to know, to have everything figured out, to have your idea fully.
fleshed out. It's okay not to know. It's okay to not have a sense of direction. Just trust yourself and take action to just take the next immediate step. You don't have to see the whole road ahead. Just take the next immediate step and know that the next step after that will reveal itself. And the next step after that will reveal itself.
And yeah, just don't put all that same pressure. Tune into yourself, follow that dream and trust yourself and take action.
And Darcy Hawxhurst
Darci: if I really ever only had one bit of advice that I need to hear as well, it's to trust yourself. Just always trust yourself. Know that you're enough. That's really it. That will get you to the places you need to [00:10:00] be when you need to be there. And if that's what I could say to my younger self, Darcy, sitting so lost and hopeless on that sofa, and maybe I did even know it then, just trust yourself.
You have Janelle Wakeman
Jenelle: I think we just all need to shut down our own limiting beliefs. We have these beliefs sometimes about ourselves. I can't do it. I'm not meant for that. I don't have time, whatever it may be. I think we all have these limiting beliefs and we need to start talking to ourselves the way we would talk to a friend.
We're such big supporters of other people. You can do it. You can do anything. And we just need to practice the habit of talking to ourselves that way, talking to ourselves the way we would to our kids, the way we would to our [00:11:00] spouse, the way we would to a friend and taking our own advice, which is the hardest thing, but it just like anything just takes practice.
And Lina Braun says
Lina: I'm the really big advocate for working with a counselor and really doing that work and doing some of the healing and reframing our mind work because it's made such a huge impact in my life. Two years ago I had such bad social anxiety, I couldn't speak to anyone. And two years of counseling, I was in Mexico, I designed an app and I was presenting it in front of hundreds of people, including doctors and just professional people.
And I went from not being able to speak to anyone to there. Just by the small commitment of going to counseling and [00:12:00] doing mental health work. I hope people see the importance of that work.
And Kari Gormley says
Kari: I'd like to say you are not alone, that everyone has doubts. I have them all the time that no one is better than you. If someone can run faster than you, maybe that same person really is envious of your family or whoever it may be. I'd like to remind people that. We all have things that happened in our childhood and we're bringing that forward in our lives.
And so to get curious about perhaps why someone is saying what they're saying and to count on yourself, this is, this is your life. And if right now this big audacious goal is not fitting into your life, that doesn't mean it won't be someday. I think one of the best things I've ever heard and it's for someone who loves to learn and is super [00:13:00] curious and also has ADHD is this idea of what Steve Jobs said is that you never know what's going to come in handy.
When you learn something, and I know for my trip around the world, there were times where I was speaking Swedish to some people and it was a secret language. You just never know what you're learning, how it can make a difference. And I really want to recommend people to follow their curiosity to know that they are enough and to really take on the attitude of why not me.
From Michelle DeKeyser
Michelle: if you're out there saying, yeah, I want more, I want to do something with my life. I want to leave something behind any of those questions out there. You don't need answers, but you need the right group of people to talk to, to help bring that out of you and support each other in it. Cause it does get hard.
Emily felt says
Emily: think about how to really listen to yourself and really believe in yourself because it really is [00:14:00] possible. I mean, you can be a great mom and love being a mom, and that can be a center of your life. And there's also so many other things that are possible. You know, if you can just believe in yourself and listen, listen to what you really want to do, listen to what you really need.
Be honest with yourself, even if it's hard. I know there's no limit to the amount of things that we can bring into our lives. There really isn't. And especially when you're thinking about that these things can be easy. They don't always have to be hard. They don't even always require extra time or extra energy.
The incredibly
experienced Louisa Jewell says
Louisa: we don't have that many days, on this earth, right? I'm really starting to get very clear on what I focus my attention on and what I spend my time on, you know, that word spend, it's like, I'm careful on what I [00:15:00] spend my money on and. Careful on what I spend my time on, and I've only got one life to live.
So I, I really do think it's important to be doing what you really want to do and find the courage and the confidence to go and do it because at the end of your life, there is nothing worse than sitting there regretting what you didn't do. And that's where most people's regrets are, not what they did do in life, but what they didn't do in life.
And think about that. Think about sitting on your deathbed and thinking, Did I really go out and live the life that I wanted to really live?
And from our expert adventurer Catherine Edsell
Catherine: I think it's about really listening to yourself because you always get to that stage where like I said, you're trying to make excuses or that's too hard or that's too difficult or, you know, that's not possible. And that comes up all the time. You know, you always have that [00:16:00] thing. Oh, it's like, Oh, I just don't know.
But it's, it's that you have to sort of go into, into your heart almost. And. Just say no, this is what I really want and this is what I really need and I can push through that and through all of those doubts and all of those limitations to, to fight for that thing, whatever it is, you know, it, if it's a dream, a very small spark of a dream you've got, or, or just even knowing, just even realizing that where you are isn't where you want to be.
I think that's as well. It's like, okay, I'm here and I'm doing it, but I'm not feeling completely in love with it. So therefore there must be something more that I need to discover or unearth. And this is the process of unearthing. I think of, you know, really sort of against that for me, it's like stripping back.
It's like, What, what are my fundamentals? You [00:17:00] know, what do I really crave? What do I really long for? And for me, freedom is, is a big thing. And I think it was always a big thing. I was, you know, I had it when I was a kid. It was, I always wanted that space and freedom. So it's nothing new. And I think that's another thing, like looking back.
You probably already know it, you probably already know what you need to do and you probably already know what your dream is. It's just, yeah, just getting rid of all the, the stuff that covers it up sometimes.
And we have Sarah Ariaudo
Sarah: I guess the last two things that I have found helpful and it was helpful for me to see the data around it. One is pausing to figure out in, in work, in life, in dealing with kids before I react, is it really worth getting upset about? Right? I mean, yes, I said five times to please put your dishes in the sink, but [00:18:00] is it worth blowing up and reacting about, or is that a battle I'm not really willing to fight in terms of it?
Allowing myself to be controlled by my emotions. So getting really upset, I don't mean just let them lay dishes around, but, but how are you going to show up and what are you going to do about it? And then the second thing is movement. And I'll say movement over exercise because exercise a lot of times, especially when we're trying to like, we're recovering from having a baby.
You know, come out of us and we're tired. Even walking around the block is movement. Even doing some stretches is movement. Even sitting up and down in a chair a couple of times is movement. And I was able to track with an app what my emotions were during the day. I did it for six months. And the main difference I do meditate every day.
And that did help with the biggest difference in how I was able to show up and be [00:19:00] proactive versus reactive. Was the days that I moved and so if they movement over exercise, obviously, however you want to do that, but it's part of self care to it gets your body, you know, I think of it as water. We're made up of mainly water.
I don't want to be a yucky, icky puddle that is, full of bugs and. nasty growth. I want to be a river or an ocean that's moving and flowing and able to adjust as I need to and healthy. It's self cleaning. So movement and pausing to then be able to choose how you react.
And from Elspeth Fimpel
Elspeth: I think I would say to the mums who are in the thick of it and still have really small children hanging off their trousers, you know, for whom they still have to do an awful lot. [00:20:00] I would say that that is just a phase that you move through and there will come a time when you have more physical and emotional space.
I remember being very frustrated, having very small children and thinking that that was a very, very tough time for me. And quashing lots of dreams that I had. I didn't think would ever happen, but as my kids grew older, I started to involve them in some of my dreams. Also, I think, you know, adventures can be really small, can't they?
Adventures don't have to be big, they can be really small. Just, you know, head out with your kids after [00:21:00] dark and go for a dark walk or take a camping stove and go out and bacon sandwiches at the top of a hill and watch the sunrise. You know, that's, that can be adventures that keep you ticking over.
Try and surround yourself with people who understand. That you want a bit more, it can be really easy to vocalize things and then let them disappear if other people shoot them down, Oh, you can't do that. Don't be silly. You've got two kids, you know, you have to nurture and protect your. your hopes and your dreams a little bit, and just maybe share them with people who will lift you up and support that, and even maybe help facilitate it, you know?
[00:22:00] And then as the kids get older, I mean, you know, I've just, what comes to the forefront of my mind, Mel, is Again, how I was inspired by you and your workshop at, uh, a subsequent Yes to Bill and Cath to take the kids out and walk one of the pilgrim paths in Spain. And that's a journey we started five years ago.
We're still doing it. We haven't finished it. We didn't do it all in one go. We've done we've done three stints. But we've walked 400 kilometers, I think the kids were, I don't know, maybe eight and 11 when we started, they'll probably be 18 and 15, 16 when we finish, you know, but that's just been an amazing mind opener for me.
It's been an amazing thing for my family to do for my kids. It's an amazing gift. I think I can give the children that they'll have this big achievement, but they'll have it. Walk this big trail by the time, by the time they're 20, [00:23:00] maybe even 18, so if you can, if you can think of something that you can take your family along on the journey with, then that's an amazing thing and just break it into accessible chunks.
And then the other advice is, I mean, I did a lot of traveling by myself. When my kids were small, I left them with my husband a lot, because I needed that time and headspace and I would go away for a week and. You know, he would carry the load for me and I very much appreciated that. So lean on your partner and tell them what you need.
Yeah. Your grandparents or like whoever, or yeah, your support network, whoever it is. Yeah. Whoever it is, because even if it's the day or 24 hours, you can get, get some of what you need in short [00:24:00] bursts. And then when you can, you can make those times a bit longer.
Next we have Kiyasha Naidu
Kiyasha: Get back to you, like in the least sort of narcissistic and self involved or self centered way, really in terms of cutting out the noise around you and the way things see on the outside, because I feel like we are in a world where, beyond instant gratification, beyond just this noise and this influx of information and the world of social media itself.
You know, we are so impacted by media in different forms. We kind of develop definitions and narratives outside of ourselves. And for me, the biggest thing was to [00:25:00] just quiet all the noise around me and get back to say, what does this mean for me? What do I want it? Bring that choice into play. What do I want it to be for me?
When I. didn't know how to start a business when I didn't know what I wanted that business to be when I didn't know why the why is everything why do I want a business I want to have balance in my life I want to be able to get on my bike with my husband on his and go and pick our kids up at 3 p. m every day I want to be able to do that and not be sitting in a meeting And my kids, you know, having a completely different life at the ages of seven and five.
That's going to come. They're going to grow up before I know it. They're going to have lives of their own. And I'm going to be trying to hold on for dear life. I want to have choice right now to say what is [00:26:00] important to me. Watching my little ones grow up is the most important thing. What do I need to have in place for that to happen?
How do I get there? I may not have all the answers yet. But slowly the pieces, just like a jigsaw puzzle, they come into play. Just don't give up, get here on who you are, what you want, why? The most important thing, why you want it. And I think the how, with consistency and just keeping that motivation and momentum going, the why, the why leads to the how.
Once you know the why, I feel like the, the how reveals itself in time. But I think there's a sense of. safety that you have to build with yourself in what you tell yourself, in how you talk to yourself. That was a big thing for me, removing the, you know, the [00:27:00] critical voice in my head, in everything I did.
It wasn't good enough. I had to create a sense of psychological safety in my, in my mind, for me, with my internal narrative. So I think that's, that's what I would advise. Get in touch with you. Get clear with you. Create a sense of psychological safety. With you, before anyone else were to you. And I think everything else falls into place.
And the wisdom of our male voice, Nick Heap
Nick: Do something, do something that takes you in that direction every day. And there's a thing from U Lab, which is, which is called rapid prototyping. Which is the, and it's basically the shoot, observe, aim. So you shoot first. So in other words, you [00:28:00] do something, you see what happens and then you aim, which means you shoot again.
Anything interesting you can't predict in advance. You can't do all the analysis in advance to predict it's going to work. The quickest way to find out whether anything is going to work or not is to, is to have a go. And, you know, you can always take a direction, which is something like, My life won't be complete until I've failed comprehensively at least twice.
From Linda Grubic
Linda: Most fundamentally, it comes back to the why oftentimes we say, you know, we want to be this type of person or we want a change, but we don't know why. So we're grasping for things and we're hoping that this will be the change that we need. So I think firstly, Connect to that. Why take a moment to reflect for some, it's journaling.
There's so many apps out there. If people do [00:29:00] mindfulness meditation, be curious with yourself, try and land on, you know, why this is coming up for you and really connect with why you want this for yourself, because sometimes, sometimes those. Those thoughts come up because we think we need to change for other people or it will magically change a particular situation.
So my recommendation would be is to come back to your own why for yourself. And I think once you connect with yourself, again, the rest will permeate into the others and you will find the change that you seek and you will find your purpose and you will have that empowered balance.
And from the wise and playful Lou Shackleton
Lou: I was going to give another tip to people, it would be to find a guide or a set of guides that can provide some handholding. One of my, one of my past therapists [00:30:00] used to say that they stood shoulder to shoulder with me. And that's, that's quite a nice image. Someone who can stand shoulder to shoulder with you and who can maybe present you with, you know, some options.
Do you mean this? Do you mean like this? That you can then respond to. And it just gives you some mile markers along the road of what is the gigantic, messy ball of wool that is the change that is happening continuously in our lives.
Such a good one coming up from Katelyn Carey
Katelyn: My cheater meditation is called Tea in Three it is this. Make a cup of tea, sit down with a cup of tea, sit back down, you're not done with a cup of tea. Feel the heat of the cup, sniff the aroma, feel the sit back down, you're not done with the tea. [00:31:00] You're getting the idea here, aren't you? And during the six or seven times that I make myself sit back down because I tried to get up and go do something, I give myself permission to come up with a list of three things.
Two of those things are things that I can check off on my to do list in totality. So it can't be like a part of something. It can't be, you know, if I'm painting the kitchen that day, it can't be paint the kitchen. I'm not going to get from start to finish. It has to be go by the paint. It has to be just one step of it.
So two things that I can check off in totality and one self care item that I'm going to accomplish that day. And then I sit the heck down and I finish the dang cup of tea.
We have Mandy Martini Chihuailaf
Mandy: I want any, if any mother or any person is listening to this, to know that this response or reaction to survival, like the anger and frustration and stress, and it's not part of who they are. It's not [00:32:00] who you are or who you're meant to be or stay there. You know, you don't have to do that at all. Your body, it was meant to always release these responses.
You can never forget that. Without our ability to heal, the life wouldn't even be possible. Like healing is a requirement, right? Otherwise it's, it just can't continue. Pay attention to these responses you have when you're angry or frustrated, when your body is trying to release and reset itself, when it's just starting to tremble or shake and some body parts start to twitch and stuff like that.
Just let it do it. You know, let your body. Move through that to release any adrenaline and cortisol, any stress you have in your body. So paying attention and being aware, what is the response and what is you? There's two different things. You're not the same person if you are in survival as you are.[00:33:00]
You're really you.
We have the ever so lovely Jennifer Erwin
Jennifer: So I think the biggest one is self compassion. And I think starting with just the self awareness and that's where just like, how are you talking to yourself? How are you treating yourself? What are the thoughts that are running through your head just building that self awareness to then be able to shift into something else is where I found that's what I needed in order to recognize my burnout moment, you know, and to be able to transition gracefully was like, Is this, like, I had to pause and I had to get reflection back, and it can feel, that can feel kind of intangible, but there's so many ways to do it, like, you can just journal out in the morning, like, what am I feeling, what am I needing, like, how can I get self awareness in my body in that way, or journaling out, like, what are the thoughts that [00:34:00] are running through my head when I'm having a stressful moment, and just noticing, building that awareness, Or taking that pause in the middle of the day and being like, okay, I have 30 seconds.
Like no one's, no one's dying. I can, I can stop and pause for 30 seconds and build that self awareness of what's happening for me? So that then you can make more. Responsive choices rather than reaction choices, and then you start to build a life that you can love and care about and you then start to have the capacity to hold what are my dreams and goals and where am I with them and have a lot of space for all of those things.
the discouragement, the hope, the whatever. I feel like a lot of my work too has been like, how do I make an internal environment that's really spacious so that all my different parts and all my different emotions just have room to be as they are without kind of overwhelming. me in a certain moment, [00:35:00] you know, and how to have that be a compassionate space where everyone can can be there, be recognized, but no one, I mean, no one's not like taking over, like my inner critics not taking over the show, you know, she can stay, stay there and I can love on her, but she doesn't have to run me anymore.
And we have Emily Cleghorn
Emily: Healing trauma is not easy. Mamahood is, is not easy. So find yourself a community of mamas who have decided to heal their trauma, who can support you on your journey. I think everybody faces moments like that in motherhood where, you know, your kid's going through a developmental leap or a phase and it's just hard.
Life gets hard and [00:36:00] having that community is huge. So find yourself a community. Whether it's girlfriends, locally, that, you know, You can connect with, or a book club for moms, or a Facebook group. Be careful with Facebook groups because not all are healing focused. Some are just there to commiserate with each other.
But, you know, community comes in so many different forms. And it's huge. We were designed to be in community.
And we have Jodi Mulholland
Jodi: my tip would be to stop when you can, right? To just take a breath, take a breath and know [00:37:00] that the answers don't need to be Right now that you don't need to
necessarily dig deep in that moment, just to be present in the moment and be open to what's, to what's unfolding in front of you, if that makes sense, and to be again, like, not to not to beat your permission to be human, but that's what this is. That's what it comes back to. It's really the perfect, it's the perfect name for your podcast because it is like, take a minute and do give yourself a little self talk like this is okay.
Like what I'm feeling is okay. It's, it's hard being a mom of young kids and [00:38:00] helping humans grow up is hard, but it's so, it can be, it's so joyful and so rewarding. But to just remember that. It's okay to accept what you're feeling, take a deep breath in, hide somewhere, whether it's in the car, wherever it is, because you need time to just, to just be, and these big dreams, these big, audacious, wonderful dreams will come to you in time.
And we have Mary Kate Schutt
Mary Kate: this may sound cliche, and I'm going to say it anyway. Trust that you know what's best for yourself and your children. And I want to offer as well that. The intuition, the gut level, heart level, knowing that we've referenced, [00:39:00] that voice is way softer than the voice of the mind. Your mind is gonna tell you all the things that you should be doing.
Your mind's gonna tell you why changing your mind is a bad thing. Your mind's gonna impose all of the fear and the guilt that you're likely feeling as a mom. If you give yourself space, and trust whatever whisperings of your intuition come up, that will likely lead you to trusting yourself more and a little bit more freedom in the regard of changing your mind.
And we have Pamela Boechler
Pamela: Other than caring for your body, of course, immediately, because I treat so many women in different stages of their life, and a lot of women that have just had children is space. If you can, and [00:40:00] I mean, coming from as a single mom, I didn't have a lot of space, but if you can create. Those boundaries between everything else in your life, your kids, your husband, your career, whatever it is, to have space alone to be able to sit within yourself and think about these deep things.
I think so many moms are just flying through life. And we don't, or we don't believe we deserve to have the space to create.
We have Shilpa Alimchandani
those limiting beliefs and all of that narratives we were talking about. It's always with us, right? To some degree. But if we can hold that and also hold that as human beings, ultimately [00:41:00] our deepest desire is to be free. We all want to be free. No matter who we are, where we are, what our identity groups we belong to, right, we want to be free.
In fact, the name of my practice is Mukti. Mukti in Sanskrit means liberation. Right, so we want to be free and we can hold the complexity of all of that, right, of the responsibilities that we have, the, you know, the traumas that we have from this lifetime or from previous generations, the opportunities that are in front of us.
As well as that really deep desire to be free. And I think what, what I would want to share with your listeners more than anything else is to not forget that we want to be free, that we have a [00:42:00] right to be free, that we can pursue that liberation and freedom together. Because when we, we stop believing in that, and stop believing in our own choice and agency, that's when I think we really feel defeated, right?
We start giving up on ourselves, on each other, and can go to that hopeless place. You've got to somehow find that, that desire within us. And I'm not saying that's enough. I mean, it's a journey you and I were talking about like this journey and all the difficult steps along the way and the, the things that we need to move through to make it possible.
But I, I really do believe we can hold the complexity of it all. We don't have to engage in sort of this binary, either it's this or it's that. Either I am a mom or I'm a professional, or I burnt myself out trying to do all the things. You know what I mean? [00:43:00] We can hold on to the complexity. We can move through it and we can move closer to that liberation that we want.
And we have Jewell Seibert
so my tip would be practice self forgiveness. And I realized that might seem kind of weird when we're talking about going after dreams. Cause what does forgiving myself have to have to do with anything, but my response would be everything because we tend to be very hard on ourselves. We're much harder on ourselves than we are on anybody else.
And that blocks us in a lot of ways. Cause number one, it wastes a lot of time and energy. And when we are beating ourselves up and holding onto our mistakes, then we are not allowing ourselves to move forward. You know, it's, if we don't like ourselves or feel [00:44:00] worthy of even self compassion, we're not going to feel worthy for the things that we want to receive and practicing self forgiveness, you know, it doesn't have to happen overnight.
It's something that I work on a lot. Actually, I just made a tapping on it today because I was like, I am so stuck in this area. I was so mad at myself, but just remember you're doing everyone does the best they can given the tools, knowledge, information, and skills they have at the time. If we could do better, we would have, but you're doing the best that you can.
And so have some grace and compassion for yourself and find a way to forgive yourself because the kinder you are to yourself. The kinder you'll be to everyone else and the more you can give and receive.
And we have Stella's Zanella our beautiful nine [00:45:00] year old guest giving us this tip.
Tip for the kids, like, for their big dreams is not to give up. Like, if you want to do this, you might be the first, so you have to do it, no matter what. If you want to do it, you'll do it, because time is ticking. Not that much. Well, at least for adults.
And Stella's mom Sandy Zanella gives us her tip. So I would say to support kids, first of all, I think we need to invest in. in that connection so we can understand why they want to pursue this and we can help them more because it's easier sometimes parents don't take their kids seriously because they think ah they're just blah blah if I would have said like I know Stella come on you don't why you want to do this certification but I knew how much [00:46:00] it meant to her because I am really connected to her and I listen to her and I know that she wants to you To to pursue this.
So I think the connection is the most important in the first thing. And then, of course, listen to them and know that or explain to them that they have to commit. It's something that if you start, this is going to be the process. Are you ready to do it? Will you be able to commit to these, et cetera, and for moms who they have a big audacious.
I love it. I say just do it just because sometimes we just want to wait to the perfect moment to everything is perfect and it can years can go by even me. I've been wanting to do not now, but like the book. I was like, I want to do it. I want to do it. And one time during the pandemic, I was like, I'm just going to do it and we'll see how it goes.
And it took me a [00:47:00] while because it was a pandemic, of course. And I couldn't even sit next to the illustrator. So everything took even double the time because it was back and forth email and it was just, it took a longer time, but I say, just do it and see what happens. Don't be afraid, just jump and you'll figure it out later. That is it? That is all 33 of the guests we've had in year. One of permission to human the podcast. And I don't know about you, but I am feeling full of incredible information and gratitude for the amazing. People who have come on and shared their stories and shared their wisdom with both myself and all of you who are listening.
So thank you so much to our guests for doing that. Hey, are you interested in being a guest on my podcast? [00:48:00] Everybody has a story, literally everybody. And if you've always thought well, You know, I'm kind of already doing that dream or I'm partway through. Or maybe you just want to come on and ask a bunch of questions, you can just pop me an email at [email protected] and let's see what we can do.
You never know.
And lastly, don't forget that if you are listening to this on the day of release, may. 18th, then you have very little bit of time left. If you listen to this right in the morning at 10:00 AM today, we are announcing the winner to the draw that we are doing. We've got some awesome prizes. You can have some free coaching with me. Or choose a book off my bookshelf and I will send it to you. All you have to do is follow and review us on. Spotify and or Apple podcasts, wherever you're listening. [00:49:00] It makes such a big difference to getting the algorithm on our side and getting this as far out as possible. And Hey. If you were happened to listen to this before 10:00 AM PST on Saturday, may the 18th, then you were in luck because you can still do this.
And potentially get a prize for it. And, you know, what, if it's after prize time, please still do it because it helps me. And so many other mums greatly. Again, algorithms.
That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, [00:50:00] please, please Like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, Dreaming big and out there. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have [email protected]
say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear if you didn't like it. I don't really want to know. Just kidding. You can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. [00:51:00] As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you do.
