Episode 54 - Check In with yourself with Michelle DeKeyser
===
[00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel FIndlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
Happy birthday to us! It is one year since this podcast, Permission to Be Human, the podcast has come into fruition. That's not even counting the trailer that happened a little while [00:01:00] before. I'm so excited that, one, I've made it this far. being consistent every single week. An episode has come out Tuesday morning, 7am PST.
And you know what? I'm so excited that people are listening because I really believe in this message that mothering is what's going to change the world. And you moms and you people mothering with big audacious dreams, we need to support you to be your best self. Right. And to have those big dreams. So thank you so much for showing up and listening to this podcast, whether you've listened since the beginning or this is your very first episode, I am so, so grateful and appreciative for you being here right now.
We have some exciting stuff this week. Every single day, there'll be a podcast episode coming out at 7 a. m. PST. [00:02:00] That's just a crazy amount of work, but it has been so, so worth it to bring this to you at 10 a. m. PST each day, Sunday to Saturday from May 12th, we will be having a Facebook and Insta live with really short, short episodes, but ones that are super tangible where you have a tool to walk away with to help you get over overwhelmed, get over overwhelmed.
Because it's hard to dream big when you're still in survival mode. And let's face it, sometimes we're overwhelmed in this life that is mothering, right? So show up on those. And at the end of the week on Saturday, I am going to be giving away two pretty incredible prizes. I'm going to be giving two coaching packages for possibility coaching where you get to work with me [00:03:00] one to one and look into what your big audacious dream is and how you can get there.
I will support you. I will cheer you on and I am so excited to do just that. So two packages are coming your way. For those people who do the following, you need to like the Facebook page, permission to be human. And if you're on Instagram, you need to get on there and follow us on Instagram, permission to be human coaching.
And finally, to really support this podcast, please go on Spotify and rate us and follow us. That will also make sure we get in your, in your list. So it shows you when a new episode comes up. And if you're on Apple, then you can go in there and rate and write us a review. That really helps me and the podcast to be seen by more [00:04:00] people.
So thank you. And yeah, I'm gonna, whoever does two, at least two of those things will be entered into a draw. And on Saturday, I will. Find some magical online tool to pull it out of a hat and see what, see who wins those two coaching packages. I'm going to add another one on and I'm literally just thinking of it right now, which is, I have a beautiful bookshelf behind me.
If you're just listening to audio, you can't see it, but it is lovely and color coded and gets commented on a lot. And I'm going to let you pick your favorite book off my bookshelf and send it to you in the mail. So that's pretty awesome. These books are full of like science backed tool, positive psychology, inspiration, parenting, strength, faith models.
There's so much good stuff up there. So I'm going to send you a book that will be a third prize. So [00:05:00] hooray, hooray, it's one year. Enjoy the podcast for today and we'll see you soon.
/ Today, we're speaking with Michelle DeKeyser. This is her second time coming on the podcast because she's just well awesome. And was willing to show up for this and share with you. Some amazing tools. She uses a tool called check in to help mamas find their genius.
Michelle DeKeyser is a dedicated mama empowerment. Speaker author and coach recognize for insightful contributions to two significant compiled. Books in voices of women, 2023 and the parenting owner's manual. She shares her wisdom and experiences alongside her children who are also esteemed authors. With a background in education and a deep passion for connecting mamas.
She wholeheartedly supports mothers in igniting their passions through grace community [00:06:00] and the transformative power of women's circles. Michelle's heartfelt mission is to create a world full of passionate, connected mamas. Who lovingly inspire those around us.
Mel: Hi, Michelle. Welcome.
Michelle: Hi Mel, it's so great to be on here today.
Mel: Yeah, I love being able to chat to you again. You were back on our show a few months ago, quite near the beginning actually of starting it up. So getting to re tap into that and bring you on for the one year anniversary is perfect.
Michelle: I'm just so inspired by you. I mean, you went in there and did it and I have to take after you and just seeing you like really make this happen, just hearing your voice. It's just amazing. I'm so proud of you.
Mel: Aw, thanks. And you too. It's been so great to see. Tell us actually where you've been since, like, last time we talked.
Tons has changed.
Michelle: Oh my god. I, yeah, I'm trying to remember exactly when we did talk, but I mean, I [00:07:00] don't even think I had my podcast launched last time we had a talk. I don't think
Mel: so.
Michelle: Yeah. I don't even think I even had it as a dream, because what happened to me was I kept thinking I had to do this vlog.
Like, I had a vlog up. I had it going, but it wasn't getting the numbers. So I hired someone to help me with SEO and just thinking this is what I need to do is also, I think it's partly sparked by my husband saying like, you like to write, this would be good for you. And then what I was doing was as interviewing people, trying to take the transcripts and turning that into a blog.
And it was actually on my birthday. I'd finally tracked the person that, who I hired it for the blog. I hadn't talked to him in forever. Finally, I'm like, you know what? I just need to give myself a deadline and then I'm going to be able to do this. And so. I was like, I have a couple questions for him, he's gonna get those answered, and I'm gonna be ready to make these blogs happen.
I had started all this stuff, I had the stuff in my WordPress, and I was getting it all ready, and I get off the, so it was on the birthday, he's in Australia, so it was 530 in the morning on my birthday. And I'm talking to him, and I just get off the phone, and I'm just crying because I'm like, none of this feels [00:08:00] right.
It's none of my questions were answered, I can't do this, and I'm just sitting there going. I had put a deadline on myself of November 12th. I had already told people I was doing a blog launch. I was like, I know people won't really, I probably didn't tell enough people that it would really matter or anything, but for me it mattered because I put that on myself, right?
Like, what the heck am I going to do? And all of a sudden I was like, why am I trying to do this extra step? Why am I not just taking these interviews and turning them into a podcast? I don't even know where, like, I just had this realization and I was like, I think it was, obviously, looking back at hindsight, it was fear, like, fear of, like, a podcast seems so much more formal than hiding behind the words, like, for me, the, the blog, and like, you know, like, even though I was putting a video on there, I was putting this all on YouTube, all the video, but for some reason saying I have a podcast was just scary.
And And so I just kind of stepped into it and I was like, so it's October 25th, November 12th, we're talking like two and a half weeks. I still had no idea what an RSS feed was. I still had no idea how to get this on Apple, how to get this on Spotify, [00:09:00] how to actually make a podcast. For some reason, in two and a half weeks, I figured it all out and I was still able to do a party launch.
I ended up releasing, I think, an episode every day that week. Ended up having 12 episodes within three weeks. Of releasing and even did a women's circle for, for the festival, like, had live interviews with each of the 1st, 12 in those 1st, 3 days of that week had live just Q and a with those 1st.
Well, the episodes like all somehow magically came together, but I think that's what happens when we finally step into our genius, which is where the whole mama genius idea even came from. I'm like, I guess I had to step into my own. And I was telling you as we first, before we even got on here was he kept telling me for the blog, three months, get 50 podcasts, get 50 blogs up.
And then you get your SEO for Google and it starts running in within the next six months, you'll get the traffic you need. And so I had this number 50 in my head. But I never realized it till [00:10:00] I put it all together, but from November 12th to almost March, it was 17th, March 12th or 17th. But I had 50 episodes of the podcast up and produced in 4 months, not 3 months, but 4 months.
And I hadn't, we hadn't even put it together, but that number was in my head. And that became season one. I just had to, like, get that all out. And it all worked out just to be that number. Like, with solo episodes and everything, it just worked out. And then also, like, okay, I need a little bit of a break before I release season two.
And I was just like, let's slow it down a little bit. We're going to go to one a week.
Mel: I think that's so awesome. And I, it's a, it's the perfect story to share in this episode, because one of the topics, the main topic we were going to talk about is overwhelm. And what you just shared there is the theme that actually is coming out for me is, is fear and courage.
Right? So, you know, you had this, this idea, you put it out there in the world, you're like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna start it on this date, I'm gonna have this blog, and [00:11:00] then, and then, you, you know, you wanted to keep yourself accountable to that, which then resulted in it just, like, your body's like, nope, yeah, nope, right?
And overwhelm was actually, and overwhelm and fear in that instance were like, Speaking to you, right? And saying, no, like, this doesn't feel good. This is not the way you want to go. I, you know this, right? So like, yeah, that topic of, of, the fear almost leading to the overwhelm, right?
Michelle: Yeah, so much so.
Mel: Yeah, but then you got over that.
Like, so let's, let's talk about how do you get through things like that? And it sounds like in that instance it might just be like months of, of dreaming big and then, and then you know, changing your mind or coming to like, kind of a crux of like, I have to do it now or else, and then be like, Yeah. No.
Michelle: I think it was kind of a combination of just like, awesome.
Like something [00:12:00] has to switch. Like I've been at this for a while. And ironically it was kind of funny because, having the conversations with my husband about the business and stuff, and he was just like, don't change your mind again. This is your plan. And so like, I was kind of like, how am I going to even tell him I'm going from blog to a podcast?
Cause even that was a switch. And it was funny because he actually part of the time of that 2 weeks. He, he, he's been regularly going down to Mexico for business and 1 of those 1 of those times he was. So I was just up late as soon as kids were in bed, like, just plugging into making this podcast happen.
And. When he came home on that Friday, I had every intention of telling him. Did I? No. So the next day, we ended up at dinner. I don't know. I can't remember if his parents were watching where the kids were. I think the kids were all just at different places. And yeah, I think the girls were each at a slumber party and then they were at a friend's house.
And then my son was at a scout camp thing. And so we were able to go to dinner [00:13:00] and I still at dinner kept trying to tell him. And finally he like asked these questions where it came out. He looks at me and goes, were you ever even going to tell me? I'm like, I swear, like, I like had in my head set all up, but it was just like, trying to get those words down that fear inside.
Like, oh, she's doing it again. She's switching gears and nothing's going to ever happen. And, but then I just, I, I let into it. I'm like, I was just afraid to tell you, like, I had literally, I had in my head plan to tell you last night, like. And like, I literally couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Like I tried and they wouldn't come out and, but they finally did.
I mean, we had the conversation. So we've been, been working through all that. And I think part of it is that fear of just like coming into my own, what am I supposed to do? And that journey and wanting it to be now, but then even realizing that my niche has changed because as we talked before, it was all about, Connecting moms and, and, and being a mom coach for me.
But as I've really looked back in hindsight over the last A couple of years that [00:14:00] I've been doing this, what I've actually been doing is working with speakers and connecting them together, which then led me into what I'm starting right now, which is a mama genius vessel and collecting those speakers.
For my vision of being the 1 stop shop for all moms, almost as I've been saying at the mind Valley for moms but the mama genius in terms of creating that platform where we can all come together to lift each other up, then servicing the moms. But I kept making like. Like, I was taking out this middle area and trying to, to, to bridge over, not realizing that that wasn't my genius.
And what I've been doing a long because even when I had to do, I had to put together a a track for a summit. I had no problem offering or having people like, it was a paid, it was a paid track and having people sign up for it. I had no problem, you know, having those conversations. I was a live lit up and I never [00:15:00] again, put those things together.
And I think a lot of times we just don't see that in our journey. Until the moment comes. And all of a sudden I was like, I participate, participate in a festival in March and saw the beauty of, of this structure that I cornered her after the festival and said, you need to teach us how to do this. And I didn't know other people were going to, because I did that nine other people, no, I think 11 other people joined this course that she created for like two days to just, to do this.
And I was like, I need to do this in May because it's the only time I can do it before the kids, before summer hits, before moms are busy, before I can't do it, and it's either these two weeks or nothing right now. I mean, later, yes, I could put it off again. But it's like, it's either these two weeks or not.
And all of a sudden I was like, creating the landing pages and so many things like, okay, I shouldn't do this. I'm getting in my head. And I just kept pushing through. I had made changes to the landing page. And I mean, the landing page took me probably three weeks longer than I wanted it to, to really get it to where I felt like I could publicize it.
And [00:16:00] so I honestly didn't publicize it till really a week ago. From today when we're recording this and today I have almost 30 speakers signed up for it in 1 week and that's even I still have another 2 weeks to go before it even starts, but I was so in my head. Like, I can't do this, but I think when you finally, like, step into.
listening to what is right and then actually like, okay, even though it's not going right, I have to keep pivoting. I have to keep pivoting. Same thing with the podcast. I have to pivot till it feels right. And I just got off a podcast interview of my own where she reminded us of the three. And I think you've done it too, where you have to coach the teacher and the mentor figuring out what you need in that moment.
Do I need someone to teach me what to do? Do I need someone to help guide me? Cause there's too many options with the mentor. Or do I need someone to reflect back to me? And just the way she broke that down is like, I'm trying to reiterate this in my head. But I think when we're on our journeys is realizing what do we need [00:17:00] at that moment?
Are we in overwhelm because there's too many choices? Then we might need the mentor. Are we in overwhelm because we just can't do that one thing that we that we already know we need to do? Then we need the teacher. Or are we just completely in our head of overwhelm that I just need the coach to help me figure out what is, what do I need reared back to me?
And realizing. Those aspects in the journey, but the biggest thing is wanting it right now. And that pressure of the now, when it's not quite to where you're going to tell that big leap comes into place. You keep hearing about the big leap and that is possible. But when does that actually happen?
Mel: Totally.
Right. And we're looking at that, that, that, that's the thing about, you know, this podcast is for moms who have big audacious dreams. So we see that leap. We see it in our minds. We're like, yeah, that's it over here. Right. And I think what, what comes up to me while you're speaking about that is, is two things.
One is, is permission to change your mind, which is an episode we'd actually did [00:18:00] recently with Mary Kate as a guest and you know, that's okay that you changed your mind, but I could hear the shoulds. In your story behind it of like, nope, like, I should never change my mind, I've done it too many times already, it's bad that I changed my mind, right?
And actually, what it sounds like what was happening is, you know, over the last couple years, you've been figuring it out just by processing in the back of your mind, not necessarily intentionally. Experimenting with different things and changing your mind has led you to exactly where you are right now.
Right.
Michelle: So true. So true. And I, and I think that especially with us with those big audacious dreams is thinking, well, it's never going to happen. Like I see this. Yeah. And it's funny. It's like, you know, it like, like, you know, it, but it's like, it's that gap and trying to distinguish between those two. And that's why it's even one of my missions was to speak to what I call the in between pannuer because we've done the big program we've, we've invested in ourselves, but [00:19:00] we haven't got to whatever we have think whatever we defined as success and that's different for everyone.
But there's a road where, where if we don't find the right support. And we don't find something that's going to lift us up and keep us moving forward. This is when people just quit and my goal is to make sure that those moms out here listening don't quit because I, so that was me even just a couple of weeks ago.
Like, I can't do this. I can't do it. I'm just going to quit. I'm just going to quit. And I'm going to go get the job. I'm just going to go do this or whatever it is in your head that you keep telling yourself. But when you get the right support, and you just find the right. Again, coach mentor or teacher that you need at that moment.
That's what's going to propel you forward.
Mel: Awesome. So that leads, that's a perfect segue into the topic of overwhelm. And I know that you have a very specific way that you talk about how moms in particular, but anyone really [00:20:00] can check in, as you say, with themselves to get, to get through this. So tell us about that and walk us through it.
Michelle: So first of all, it's check in with yourself. Now, and I'm going to admit that this, the reason why even the first just words itself come out is because even when I was in therapy, I would keep telling a story and the therapist would be like, well, how do you feel? And I'd go into some story about some, she's like, but what is the feeling?
And it's funny, I even have these stickers right here and there's one on my computer. That just to remind me of what the different feelings are, and it's sitting here right on my computer that I can feel because I struggle so much with just identifying how I'm feeling right now, and then I put judgment on it.
And so the first step is just the word check in going. How am I feeling right now? Is this the way I want to be feeling? Is this not the way I'm feeling? But there's no judgment with it. Just identifying because you know what? It is true. We do need to feel the feels. And I love how Brene Brown puts it. She says that, and I [00:21:00] might miss screw it a little bit, but we keep thinking that we're thinking beings that sometimes feel.
And she's like, we got it all backwards. We're feeling beings that sometimes think. So we have to first check in and just acknowledge how is our body feeling, how are we feeling at that moment whenever we do that. So that's just what the word itself means, but then of course it's an acronym, so there's different parts to each of it, which goes through the process of really releasing the overwhelm.
And so the C itself is curiosity. You look at your little kids. They're asking so many questions. They want to know about the world. And somewhere along the lines, by the time they're 11, they stop asking those questions. A three year old is going to ask over 100 questions. The 11 year old is going to ask two.
And then it gets worse by 22. There's only like even 25 percent of people even like having any curiosity left. So the first thing really is to get back to that curiosity. And I just like to throw the question out there. What do I like doing? [00:22:00] It sounds so simple, but when I've asked moms or asked other people, they start listing all the things they don't like doing.
And you just want to focus on, again, it's always what you focus on. And so it's, what do you like doing? And just the first thing is, what can I do for 10 minutes today, if this is earlier in the day or the next day, like now that I would actually enjoy doing? Is it reading the book? Is it sitting with my cup of coffee?
Is it watching a show? Like whatever it is to do more of those things, but to be intentional about it. So it's like, that's the first step to activating the RAS, which is your reticular activating system. Just like when you get the new car, you see it everywhere. Well, once you start identifying what actually like doing, you start to do more of it.
And the same thing goes with activities with your kids. So like, I would like to say, I'm not a Lego person, not a big fan at all. I'll let my husband build to the end of the day with them. But if my daughter has to draw, then I'm jumping in. So it's finding the [00:23:00] things that you even enjoy doing with your kids and asking them to do more of those things to create that connection with them and yourself.
And so just really focusing on those. So you're not always like, as Mel likes to put, putting the shoulds in. So that you're doing the things you actually like doing. So that's first one is curiosity, just opening it up with that question of what do I like doing? And then what do I like doing with my kids?
Kind of giving you the balance of, of both since we're, we're all moms wanting to connect more with our kids. But then it leads us into the H, which is honesty. We need to be honest with ourselves and kind of give us a little bit of a baseline and so kind of go through the process. The bigger version is looking at your values and really identifying what are your core 2 to 3 values really breaking that down and kind of going through the process of that.
That once you identify that, that gives you your baseline to then make. decisions off of because we like to say that we know our values and I have asked different people and they start listing out 15 different things. I'm like, how can you make [00:24:00] a decision off of 15 things when you're thinking about all these things?
Do you value freedom versus security? Like people are different and you really just need to hone in on what you, so for me, I came down with the three G's, grace, growth, and gratitude, kind of like, and what I did was some of the values I thought I had, I just put them, you know, what ones fit underneath and what was that overall branching that I can then go, am I growing in this decision?
Then that helps me make that decision more so, but you need that baseline and you need to be honest with yourself. What, what is that? And so that's where honesty comes in and then we jump into expectations. And it was funny when I was actually creating this framework. I had a friend who said, you can't use the word expectations.
That's not good for framework. And I begged different because it was, we all have expectations at some point, but if we don't acknowledge them or admit them. And and admit them so we can change them into something else. So we might be able to change them into a growth goal. Maybe I'll change them into a gratitude goal, but.
And [00:25:00] bring uBrennee brown again, she likes puts the word paint it. Keep the picture of your expectations so, for instance, I love the story that I always give my daughter. I 1st asked her. How to how to wipe wanted her to wipe down the table. She took the rag. And she like threw it like this, like in spots across the table as her wiping down.
Now that wasn't the expectation in my head, but did I paint the picture for her and show her or like illustrate or did I just expect it to be done? And the same thing goes with spouses or kids, like for instance with your spouse, if you say, what do you want to accomplish this weekend? Which I like to do because he wants to do more outside door work, but then I want to make sure I support him enough that I still get my stuff done that I'm, you know, taking the kids or bringing things in when he's doing certain things that when you actually ask those questions and and understand each other's expectations, then you can meet them better.
And so, and a lot of times when you. Admit to yourself what you're expecting, then you can either make your goals or change it into gratitude because it's [00:26:00] not there yet or whatever it is, but you can make those once you've acknowledged them. Then that leads us into, once we've done those steps, now we're getting into connection.
So, it really comes down to deep, that we want connection with each other. And, hate to break it to you, connection with yourself, because it starts there. It starts with really, again, being honest and what is the things that I actually like doing, want to do. And then I can connect more. Like just when we were talking about your kids, you can connect more when you're doing things you guys enjoy together more than when you're like, oh, I need to be doing this because that's what they want.
And so the more you start to do that, the better. And so the same thing comes with, for me, part of this was also like, going to mom's groups and just always the chit chat. And like, I just get bored with the, not even bored, but even with all the negative chatter of like trying to one up each other on who has the worst day.
I don't know if you've ever been in one of [00:27:00] those situations, but like whose kids are the worst, whose husband's the worst, or spouse, whatever. And that never lit me up. I'd sit there like just taking this, all this negative energy and going I don't really want to be here, but then at the same time, one, I feel like I want to connect and belong.
So I'd be searching my brain, looking for an example to add to the, to the table. And that just never felt right. So for me, when we're talking about general connection, we're, we're looking at where am I really at right now? What are the things I can celebrate? Because we, as moms, struggle to say what, what, what are the things we're good?
We're afraid that we're going to put someone else down by saying the good things we're doing. And yes, we still need to share our struggles, but we don't need to continually cycle Over and over that we're not learning. And so when we, when we talk about connection, we're looking at how do we have those conversations that allow us to speak from the heart, but not be stuck in these cycles of just negativity that I've found at least my experience across mom tables and different [00:28:00] book groups or whatever that I partaked in before.
And I've heard from other moms. Have you you read it? Iterate it to as well. So then we, so then we're focusing on that connection. Part of what I do with my programs is is that's part of it is the women's circles and the principles of how we run a conversation of a deeper nature to help express those deeper desires inside of us because maybe we don't know what we like doing yet.
These gives us a safe space to start exploring that in a different light and then that leaves us in decay. Which is keep listening and as humans, we are just wired to interrupt to tell people what they need to do to tell them what our story is about that. But in reality, when we actually listen to others that.
We're really soaking in what their experience is. Instead of trying to just say, how am I going to respond back to them? I'm just seriously listening back to them. And this I'd love to apply to the kids is when your kids are [00:29:00] telling you a story about what happened to them that day, just put your lips together.
Just stop yourself from responding to them. If you want to respond to them, then just ask them, just restate their words to see if you're understanding correctly, rather than just Any response or anything, but honestly, when they're done talking, if you sit there and let the silence sit for a little bit, they will continue to talk and usually figure out their own problem, which is the goal.
Right? We want to be their guides. We don't need to tell them everything. We want to be there to support them and listen. We just need to be that comfortable space that they want to then share with us because we're not telling them. Oh, you did that wrong. Or this is a better way to do that. They're going to make mistakes that that's we're going to still be making mistakes.
I mean, we're human. That's part of the human experience. And so really learning to listen. To someone and really be able to respond to what they're saying rather than what we think or trying to add in our [00:30:00] experience to theirs experience. Usually shuts people down, especially our kids who are really just trying to figure things out.
And so, when they're done talking, then you might want to ask him. Well, how do you want my help or do you want me to do something? Or did you just want to get off your chest and you're done now? You want me to say nothing. And a lot of the times, that is the case. I've had my daughter just say, yeah, no, I'm done.
Bye.
When I didn't really say much of a word, except give her a hug. Yeah. And so I think it's, it's asking that permission and knowing what they actually want from us versus assuming. And that's what we do when we really listen. And then that leads us into the end part, which is actually kind of goes together, which is intentional now.
And so it's really putting the intention behind what we're doing in the moment. And doing that as much as possible so that when we are going in that conversation with our kids that we're having the intention to be there for them, rather than our own stuff, or having the [00:31:00] intention to look and be honest with ourselves to what is our values and what baseline do we need to make those decisions from?
Because once you've identified your core values, then you're able to be more intentional When you make your decisions, you're like, hmm, does it show me any grace to myself? Now I'm just beating myself up. Okay, then I probably shouldn't do this. Or, I really can't say yes to this, to the PTO today because I don't have the space or time for it right now.
I will put that on my schedule for the next activity if that's, but, but really giving yourself that, where you're at right now. And it's not the, and this really is just learning to say no to things that aren't right for you in this moment, in this intentional, being intentional to yourself, always putting yourself first, disappointing everyone.
It doesn't matter if you disappoint, they're like, oh, okay, half time when you say no, no one would care anyways. Just say, no, I can't do that right now. I will, I will look at next time. And usually no one cares. [00:32:00] We are the ones who are in our heads thinking that they do. And so that kind of leads you through the check in process.
Mel: Amazing. I love that you've got such a clear framework for really, you know, women to check in with themselves and see where we're at. You know, and you know, you're digging into not only where you're at, but like, who are you? That's what comes up for me. Right? Like it's a framework that people can use to really check in with who I am, who am I right now in this season of my life on this day, in this moment, who am I going to
Michelle: change?
And it's okay for it to change and your values might change. That's okay. But that's why you're checking in with where you're at and giving yourself that baseline for now to make your decisions.
Mel: Yeah, and it leaves me with the question of like, when was the last time? Each of us listening in to this has checked in with ourselves, right?
It's often a long time ago.
Michelle: It is, and that's why I've been, that's why, like, [00:33:00] this is, like, for me, just finding reminders. And it's, it's actually, like, got, like, a rough part to it, but, like, because I struggle with identifying my feelings and always suck them down, I know that that's something that I need help with, so I need that visual reminder.
And so it's just finding those things at once. Because, again, the key to all of this is just awareness. It's knowing what are triggers, what are the things that we struggle with, and then once you identify them, what do you want to do about it? For me, it's putting that sticker on there to remind me that I need to check in with my feelings more often and actually identify them.
Not just say, oh, this is a story that goes with why I'm feeling this way, but I have no idea what that feeling is, because that's what is going on.
Mel: Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, that is, I think, super useful. Thank you for sharing that. And I think I'm going to close us down now because I know you're going to be coming live, for those that happen to be listening to this, in the morning of the day it comes out.
Michelle will be joining us in a few [00:34:00] hours, 10 a. m. PST. So so do come and listen to that and we're gonna, you know, dig a little deeper and be more specific. So do come along. Michelle, if people are really interested in you and your process and your podcast and your check in, how do they find you?
Michelle: Well, there's two ways right now. My website's connecting mamas. com. It's and then the other thing is, especially if you're a mom panewer out there, I'm listening with those big dreams. I know a lot of you are, I have the mama genius quiz. So you go to the mama genius hub. com. You can find out what of the four, archetypes are you in terms of how you're creating and what is your energy for where you're at in your mom panewership.
And it really just, you know, Identify and then I have some resources podcast things to help you along your journey because again It's, it's about really understanding where you're coming from. And again, removing the judgment is just like, okay, this is where I'm at and where I want to go. [00:35:00] What resources and things do I need to get me from here to here based on the way my mind, my body, I operate.
And so the more we know about how we do those things, the more we can make those decisions and anchor in who we are. And again, we all have that genius inside of us. And so it's more that we put all these barriers along the lines from the 1st time. Someone told, you know, and then you're like, oh, I can't do that.
Tell me no. And so it's more finding how to release those and identifying those things to really get your message out there because. Each one of you has such an important message and I just want to make sure that you find the support that you need to get that out into the world and to really leash your genius into the world and then inspire your kids to do the same.
Be that role model for them.
Mel: Amazing. All right. Thank you so much, Michelle, for joining us again today.
Michelle: Yay. I can't wait to see you guys live too.
/
That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater [00:36:00] on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
Don't forget that if you're listening to this, between May 12th and me. 18th 20, 24 than it is one-year anniversary week for this podcast. So like always head on over to Facebook. And like our page permission to be human co and head on over to Instagram and follow us permission to be human coaching, and then head over to your apple or Spotify. Where you listened to your podcast and rate and review us, please, please, please.
And if you do that this week, you're in for the draw to get some free possibility coaching with me as well [00:37:00] as.
The third prize. Being a book off my bookshelf that you can choose and I will send it to you. So. Please do that will help us So. much to get the algorithm on our side, get this podcast out to more and more people and to really celebrate the one year birthday.
As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you do.