Episode 50 - Pamela Boachler
===
[00:00:00]
Mel: Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
/ Well, I'm really excited about this one. I know. I keep saying that every time, but I am very excited about this one. Today. We have Pamela Beckler and she lives just up the road from me. So it was so nice to have her in person to do this interview. Pamela's a physio-therapist business owner. Entrepreneur and [00:01:00] single mother, she's passionate about health, the human body yoga.
Meditations and other ancient, wisdoms and traditions to help people bring optimum wellness and vitality to herself and all humans. And. She just such a lovely person. You know, we go into quite a few things in this conversation. Heads up trigger warning. There is. There is a mention of some challenging times, including. Abuse and domestic violence.
So get yourself in a safe space. If that is something that will be a trigger for you. We don't go into detail, but it is mentioned. So. I just loved this conversation with Pam because I know her in person. She's my physiotherapist. And including like pelvic physiotherapist and she just has this amazing way with people and really helping you feel really comfortable. And
this [00:02:00] vision of enabling. Herself and other woman and really empowering them to. Step into who they are. In this world. So we have this amazing conversation about how that can happen, how, what her life has been like, but how she then led into this incredible. Work that she is doing now. And I can't wait to see what she does in the future too.
So. Let's stick around and have a listen.
Mel: /Okay. Hi, Pam. Hi, Mel. Thanks for coming to my space. You're actually in my space. This is the first person I've had. Live, like in person. Oh, really? On the podcast. That's why it took so long to set it up. So, yeah.
Pamela: It's beautiful and it's just so comfortable and colourful. Yeah, thanks for having me.
Mel: Yeah, no worries. I'm excited.
Mel: For people who don't, who won't know this, Pam is my physio. [00:03:00] And Knows my body probably better than I do
and we've met, you know, we've had that quite a few times and have such good conversations that, I really admire the work that you do in that space because it's more than physio. You know, it's, it's a space to connect, to chat, to connect with ourselves. So, I had no doubt that this is where I wanted you to be, in my office, in front of my bookshelf, chatting to the world.
Oh, thank you. Thank you for those kind words. Yeah. Yeah. So we start with, who is Pam?
Pamela: Who are you? Who is Pam? You know, I guess we'll state some of the obvious things. Mm-Hmm. . But I am a single mom of an 8-year-old girl. She is [00:04:00] beautiful and sweet. I'm a physiotherapist, also a yoga instructor, and yeah, I am, I'm manifesting, I am.
I'm a progressive learner. I like to go deeper. And I guess probably in the last few years, I've really focused a lot on women not just career, but also just personally trying to enrich some of those relationships. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that kind of
Mel: describes Who you are and what you do with it.
It's amazing. So, your story. That's kind of who you are now and who you are in this space and I am super curious [00:05:00] of what got you to where you are now. And you can start that story anywhere that you feel is the appropriate space to
Pamela: start. Okay. Yeah, so I started my career in Victoria, BC.
So, you know, that was about 15 years ago. I was about 23 years old at the time. And I moved here from Saskatchewan. So that was a big move. Going from a very kind of conservative background to a lot more liberal surroundings. And physio at that time, and still is, was very much, you know, in and out, very business, clinical, 20 minute appointments, just as you would kind of get at a walk in doctor's office.
And I was living [00:06:00] downtown Victoria in the Inner Harbor, you know, some would call my best life. But I wasn't, I wasn't happy, I didn't feel like I was actually caring for people or living that genuine existence that I wanted to. So probably about two years into being a physio, I finally just had enough, sold all my stuff, packed up and started traveling alone.
And eventually I found myself in Belize, which is just south of Mexico and an English speaking country. And I learned that kind of Caribbean vibe. And I loved it. And I had an idea, like, oh, maybe I could be a physio down here. They didn't have any of these services. Yeah. [00:07:00] And so I thought, yeah, you know, this would be amazing if I could create this type of lifestyle for myself that wasn't so typical physio.
That imprisonment I kind of found myself in, in the healthcare system. And then, you know, that kind of manifested, but along the way I met a man and we got married down there and I lived there. For quite a few years and unfortunately, it being still a country where women are still very second class don't have a lot of rights, usually don't work a lot.
I kind of found myself in an imprisoning marriage and there was, you know, abuse issues. [00:08:00] And my self-esteem, you know, suffered because of it. I'm kind of went through that, you know, what is it called dark night of the soul. And the day I told him I was leaving him, I found out that I was pregnant. Wow.
Yeah. So that was kind of a big, big moment in my life, a crossroads of what do I do with this? So I think what I did, like most women do is I stayed, I tried, you know, you hope for change. And then when she was about six weeks old, I, I left him, I packed up and left. You know, at that point it was just getting to be too much.
And I came back to Canada with nothing, with not even a dollar in my pocket. Wow. [00:09:00] And from there, you know, the resilience of being a mom, of course, puts that fire under you to just keep going no matter what the cost. And I went back to work when she was about four months old, which was, oh, it was the hardest point of my life.
You know, I was taking a bus at that point, like, two and a half hours to and from work, and then dealing with a newborn baby. And, you know, slowly over time, as she got older, I think the thing that always stuck in my mind when I left Belize was just the journey that so many women have had to take in order to just live a decent life.
And when I flew out of there, that last day I was there, we [00:10:00] flew over the yard where a lot of the local women were doing laundry in buckets. And I just thought, you know, someday when I get my act together, I'm going to repay and help women. And so when I had my daughter, I started taking more courses in women's health and pelvic health.
Prior to that, I was mostly doing orthopedic and, you know, sport management, but it just spoke to me that I had to learn how to empower myself, but also learn how to empower women to be their best selves. And then pelvic health really, it healed me as much as I healed other women, because the strength it takes for women to come in [00:11:00] and talk about their pelvic issues, or talk about what they're dealing with, the strength of these women.
Is incredible and that they've healed me enough that now I have my own practice and yeah, that's I surround myself with just beautiful women every day sharing their stories with me.
Wow. Yeah. Yeah, it was an interesting eight years or so of getting to this point.
Mel: Yeah, you know, I can just, I just, it's actually hard for me to envision because I know you as you are, right? It's hard for me to envision this younger version of [00:12:00] yourself in such a vulnerable position
with such courage to walk away and move back to Canada. You know, not knowing what the heck
Pamela: was going to happen next, right? It's true, but I think any woman who's a mother understands that, you know, I think about sometimes how did you not have strength to leave when you were alone, you know, in this marriage?
And as soon as I had a baby, it was like everything clicked. And I just knew I didn't want her to maybe experience some of the self esteem or lack of confidence or whatever type of past issues were holding [00:13:00] me back. I didn't want to pass that on to her. And I think a lot of moms know this, you know, the lioness and her cubs, like, look, you'll do whatever you have to do.
And so that was the, that was the moment of me rising up and standing up. Yeah. Yeah.
Mel: It's beautiful. It is. And, you know, so, so relatable because, well, that experience is so different than my own and so different than, than many's. It's also so, so much the same, right? Like there, there are these moments in our life where we,
we step back and we say, Whoa, what's going on here? And becoming a mom, it sounds like was such a gift. [00:14:00] Which I'm sure in that exact moment did not necessarily feel that way, right? Because you're finally ready to go and you're like, oh, but, but, but, but, right? And yet that's what gave you the full on courage to to change your life for yourself
Pamela: and your daughter.
Absolutely.
Mel: Yeah.
Pamela: And you're right. I think most women moms are not have experienced, you know, as much as we're modern, we're still far from finding that equanimity in culture. And that's what I've also learned in this pursuit of helping women is that every woman has a story. Every woman has had to kind of rise up against.
[00:15:00] Something in order to kind of fully empower herself and embody her true feminine self.
Mel: Yeah, and I think I almost feel like that is our journey of womanhood, right? Like I'm doing a lot of work right now realizing like, The rage that I have towards nothing in particular. Yeah. Right. But it's towards like patriarchy and just why is the world making these choices so hard for, for me or for a woman and for my daughter and for, you know, like why?
Absolutely. And it's a physical thing. Like I can feel it in my chest. I'm like, I can feel it because I'm, I'm, I'm angry that you had to go through that. even though it got you to where you are, right? And that doesn't, and that anger is totally valid. I [00:16:00] look forward to the next phase. Laughter right?
Because that's not, that's not also, not healthy for my body. But we hold that in and we have that, that feeling, whether it's through our own stories or those around us.
Pamela: Right? Absolutely. And you know just, I don't know if you're much into the idea of even trauma being passed through genetics and, you know, history and It's, it's important for us women, I think for so long, we've been competitive with each other.
We've been taught to feel this towards each other rather than nurturing the community to become stronger and to become more of that embodied [00:17:00] feminine. But anger can be a healthy thing too. Totally. Yeah, you know, it is the normal expression of. Our human emotions. So,
Mel: yeah. Yeah. And it's usually a sign that some other need isn't being met.
So it's telling us, like, to look inward a little further and figure out what that is.
Pamela: Yes. One thing I've learned in physio is that repressed emotions are by far the most detrimental to our health.
Mel: Yeah.
Pamela: They show up everywhere in our organs, in our muscle tissue. So the more we can express, the more we can be open, the more likely you'll live that healthy life.
Mel: Yeah. Yeah. And what helped you get to this point now where, cause I'm sure there was all sorts of emotion during that big transition, right? And I know you've mentioned [00:18:00] like the, the way your career has gone and the purpose that you now feel. And I'm, and I'm curious, like, yeah, what's helped you get to the point you're currently at where, you know, I look at you and I'm like, like, you get it, you get what life is supposed to be.
Right. And that doesn't mean you're perfect at everything or anything like that. It just means like, You know the path, and you're weaving towards it, if that makes sense. I'm trying. Thank
Pamela: you for saying that. Oh my gosh, this is so multifactorial. I think when you first asked me this question, the first thing that came to my mind was the, again, some of the women I met in these third world countries I traveled to and lived in.
And [00:19:00] their ability, you know, a lot of them live literally, you know, hand to mouth every day, like women sitting there on their front porch with five kids waiting for something or someone to bring them food or money to help feed their kids. And a lot of them are just so happy.
Mel: You
Pamela: know, they're smiling and they're laughing with each other, you know, maybe they're not.
Happy with their living situation, but they found the spark within to be okay with just now. Yeah. And in that Caribbean culture, they really believe it's almost fundamental that if you stress about your circumstances that are not in your control, [00:20:00] you will get sick. And you will maybe die from that. And so part of having an even Spirit, no matter what is happening to you, gives you strength and the vitality to just keep going.
So that was such a lesson to me coming from, you know, a very privileged Western culture.
Yeah. And then somewhere along the way, after I had Sophie and I came back to Canada, you know, I still embodied some of that resilience that some of these women had taught me. I found yoga, so I had previously dabbled in yoga, but once I, I had a client who was a lawyer of mine [00:21:00] and she sent me to an Iyengar studio in Victoria and said, go here, experience what, you know, the real side of yoga is, the depth of it, the meditative process, and I think you'll come out feeling different about life.
And I did, it was. My teacher was just amazing. She's this middle aged fiery woman, but just so deep in soul. And you could just feel that emanating from her. Yeah. And that started me into, you know, a very important part of my life, my yogic journey and yoga, just like what these women taught me teaches you to be [00:22:00] even emotion.
in any state. So in yoga, they teach you to not be overjoyed when something very pleasurable happens, but also don't be so disappointed if things don't go your way. It's just always kind of maintaining balance no matter what happens. And so through the practice of yoga, through your physical balancing, it transfers into that Mental, emotional, and spiritual sides of your life.
Yeah. So I think those two things really were fundamental to me and being where I am now, and I mean, it's a constant learning process, you know, it's he'll lie, die. I [00:23:00] will be trying to be a balanced person.
Mel: Yeah. I love the two sides of that, right? You've got the, like. watching others and learning from others. And I have this, this vision of that family on a porch in my mind, that probably isn't exactly what it looks like. And that doesn't matter because, you know, and I can just imagine how impactful it would be to have, you know, lived alongside that,
Pamela: right?
It was, yeah. And, you know, I, you've probably heard this many times, but to find the silver lining. in anything. So, you know, I would call that one of the, in some ways, worst [00:24:00] experiences of my life, but also the best. It was the most monumental to change me from one way of thinking to another and to see that in practice.
To see the strength of women
and how to remain balanced in it all.
Mel: Yeah. And you use the word embodiment, right? So really bringing that, because I can sit here and really use my brain and everything that you just said, right? I can really like analyze this, that, or the other along the way. Ends. And I could embody it, right? Absolutely.
Even as a listener right now, I can embody the fact that, like, I can feel things based on what you're saying, [00:25:00] right? And so embodiment seems to be a, uh, a theme that goes through your life and what you're trying to do.
Pamela: Yes. I think if I was to live my most authentic and true self, It would be to everyday wake up trying to embody that equanimity, the balance.
And you know, things come up and they're constantly thrown in your way and it's just always coming back to that Shavasana state.
Mel: Mm-Hmm.
Pamela: Yeah. To be able to just be okay. Yeah. And that ability has made me a better therapist as well [00:26:00] to transfer that energy. You know, because energy is real,
Mel: So, so you've touched on this a little bit already, throughout I can, I can, you know, pick and pick the pieces of what your, where your values lie and like the difference you want to make. But what would you say if I said, what's your big audacious dream? Hmm.
Pamela: Yeah. That's a really big and important question.
Currently, I'm still trying to.
I guess maybe rocess, how to put that into words. Yeah. You know, I don't know if you're much of a journaler, but I am these days. And I often write down my [00:27:00] intentions. And I think they are slowly evolving into something a little more concrete. I think just living, And embodying, using that word again, but embodying really who Pam is, and I'm not even totally sure I've completely figured that out.
I think I'm on the path and inspiring people to live their best lives, starting with their body. I think I very much believe that in myself. I try every day to say. No matter what happens, put your body first because it is, again, your vehicle of expression and to be able to live your best life. You [00:28:00] cannot live your best life if your body is also not living its best.
And so I think passing that
on to others is. Maybe part of why I'm here.
Mel: Yeah, I mean that lands. As, you know, someone who met you through that work. It, yeah, that lands. And that's a beautiful purpose or dream or whatever we want to call it, right? The world will be a better place because of that. Thank you, I hope so. Okay, so top tip. So we have moms and those in the mothering space, uh, whatever that might look like listening in who, you know, they want to make a difference in the [00:29:00] world somehow they have these big dreams or they want to have these big dreams and aren't sure what they are yet or can't put them into words quite yet.
And, and, and they want to live their best life. What, what's one top tip that you would give to take a step towards that?
Pamela: You know, other than caring for your body, of course because I treat so many women in different stages of their life, and a lot of women that have just had children, it is, Space.
If you can, and I mean coming from as a single mom, I didn't have a lot of space, but if you can create those boundaries between everything else in your life, your kids, your husband, your [00:30:00] career, whatever it is. To have space alone to be able to sit within yourself and think about these deep things. I think so many moms are just flying through life, and we don't, or we don't believe we deserve to have the space to create.
Mel: Beautiful. Okay, thank you for coming today. If people are, happen to be on Vancouver Island where we live and are like, I want physio from someone who thinks about more than the 20 minute in and out thing, you know, where would, how can people find you?
Pamela: Yeah, so my practice is at Soul Centre in Duncan, SOL [00:31:00] Centre.
It's by the community farm store, 5380 Trans Canada Highway. And my practice is just simply my name, Pamela Bechler Physiotherapy. I do have a website you can look me up, Pam Bechler Physio, and you can reach out to me via email there and yeah, you can go from there. Okay. Thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome.
Mel: Thank you for having me. You're welcome.
It is so hard for me to believe because time has just flown by, but we are coming up to our one year anniversary of Permission to Be Human, the podcast. How? Just how? And I'm so excited that I have the tons of stuff in the works. Like tons. So Sunday, May the 12th to Saturday, May the 18th, [00:32:00] there is going to be things happening every single day that week.
There'll be a podcast episode coming out at 7am each day, including Quite a few different things, but you'll get a chance to do, hear an interview with me. I gave the hosting thing over to my good friend Sarah, and she interviewed me. So you'll find out more about me, you'll find out more about my family.
And more importantly, this is a week about overwhelm, right? Tools to get overwhelmed. Out of Overwhelm is what that week is going to be all about. So we'll have episodes by an eight year old girl who teaches kids yoga. Amazing. We'll have episodes by an EFT tapping specialist. We'll have episodes with just me, chatter chattering away as I always do.
[00:33:00] And as well as an episode coming out every single day that week at 10 a. m. on Facebook live and Instagram live. I will be showing you a tool that will help you get through overwhelm. So don't miss that. There are also going to be prizes.
I'm super excited. I am gathering them together and figuring out what they're going to be, but do show up that week, listen live on Facebook, listen to the podcast episodes, and you will find out how you can be in for some pretty epic prizes. And I have one request for you right now. One of those days is going to be a Q& A, Ask Mel Anything Day.
And in order for me to run something like that, I need some questions. What [00:34:00] have you been wondering when you've been listening to this video? What questions do you have? You can ask me anything. I'm pretty much an open book. It can be about me or it could be about you. It could be about your wellbeing. Ask me anything.
Curiosities, and I promise I will answer them that week, even if I get like a thousand. We'll figure it out. So please do send me permission to be human, always at gmail. com your questions so that I can answer them. I'm so excited that we're one year in and I can't wait to celebrate with you.
That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go [00:35:00] away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.
If you liked today's episode, please, please, please Like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, Dreaming big and out there. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human always at gmail. com say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear if you didn't like it. I don't really want to know. Just kidding. You can share that if you want. I would love to know, [00:36:00] however, who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
Yes, this is a newer podcast, so I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you do.
