Episode 23 - How to believe in your dreams, even when the people around you think you're crazy
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/Alright. Mamas, today is all about how to believe in your dreams, even when the people around you think you're crazy. Or at least you think they think you're crazy? Because here's the thing. When we have big audacious dreams. They're usually so big. [00:01:00] That others can't necessarily see the vision and the things that we see and believe in our mind and our heart to be true. Because they're not in our head. Right. And the people around us. Especially the ones that love us most.
They see their jobs as protecting us. They want to keep us safe. Right. So when we say something to them, like we're going to write a book or I'm going to start this new business, or I want to start this new project, or I want to go volunteer here, or I want to travel to every. Country in the world or, you know, these big dreams to us, whatever that might look like. When we say that to people. Their first reaction is. Oh, no. Is it safe? Right.
And that doesn't necessarily mean. They think you're crazy. Firstly. [00:02:00] Some people, however, might actually think you're crazy for wanting to do such a ridiculous thing. Why do you want to step out of the norm so much? Why don't you want to follow the status quo? Now, this is coming from me, Mel who my whole life. I have always been tempted to step. Just a little bit past the status quo. Don't get me wrong. Growing up. I. Also always wanted to follow the, like, know what the rules were. So that I could decide which ones I actually thought were there for a reason. And if they weren't there for a reason or a very good one, in my opinion, And just because it's not a good reason, then I was pretty keen to break them. But I didn't necessarily do that in a way that I was seen as a troublemaker. But I guarantee you that now that has turned into what I currently am. And I'm kind of seen as a [00:03:00] little bit crazy sometimes. Right. Just go get a real job. Even my own mother has said that to me, quite a few times in different, more kinder words. But here's the thing I know deep down in my gut. That my why and my reason to be in this world. Is actually put into a couple of words is risking love. Right. So risking is about taking risk. Adventures. Doing things that are scary. Right. That's what I'm here to do. And risking love is all about what that says, right? Showing vulnerability, beanie. Stepping out of the norm, stepping out of what I think I should do. In order to create more love in the world. In whatever way that looks. So sometimes in fact, almost all the time. Showing love and having love and focusing on that [00:04:00] kind of area and all the field goods is seen as kind of hairy fairy or as seen as. Just a little crazy and I, over time with lots of practice, I'm usually okay with other people thinking that. But I get. That you might not be. And I get that in your early days of an idea. Whatever that idea might be. And it might shift and alter throat time. In those early days. Having someone think you're crazy, whether they tell you or not. Can we really a setback for you? So this episode is really about digging into how you can become resilient. To the likelihood that people will think you're a little crazy or you'll think that people think you're crazy. And. That's okay. So, how do we be tough? How do we stick to our dreams and keep our belief in our dreams, [00:05:00] even when that is the case.
So step one is to really, really get to know your why.
There's a few different exercises you can do for this, but your why is your. Real purpose that you're doing this idea. Right. It's the big vision. And it's probably beyond what you think that is. And there's a great exercise called the five whys. Where you dig down deep. So why am I starting a podcast? Because I want to talk to some cool people. Well, why do you want to talk to some cool people? Because I.
Feel like I don't talk to enough people in my life and I'm craving connection. Why are you craving connection? Because I think connection is what makes the world go round. Why does connection make the world around? Because we need each other. Why do we need each other? [00:06:00] Because we needed together world. Right. That's my ultimate. Why is around my, this together world concept? Right. So digging down deep, you can keep asking yourself why. And on those hard, hard days when they will come, whether someone else is involved in it or not, you will have days when you truly strongly believe in what you're doing. You have days when you're like, what the heck am I thinking? Right, because you're not necessarily in your flow that day. And that's okay. You just need something. To grab onto. To really know your, why that you can look at. And. Remember. In those moments of challenge, at least until the next day, when your mind might just change. The second step is to write it down. So now that you know your, why.
Write it down. This could be a few words. Don't, don't worry about it being the exact right words. We're not in some business school here where we [00:07:00] have to have, you know, the perfect phrase for our vision. But it's just words that you connect to. Right. You and you only, this is for. Where it might be a metaphor, it might be an actual visual of something. That you really connect to. So one of the people I work with is a dragon dragons are amazing and you are the dragon in life, and that is her vision. And she knows what that means. And it doesn't matter if you are. I know what that mean. 'cause that's the why. That's what we're aiming towards. Mine might be.
More words, if you want it to go into words, actually have one on my wall that I look at often. Which is that I make money so that I can do more good. So more good is a big part of my why. And the goodness, if you went into bigger, deep whys is the togetherness part of it. So. In order to do that, I need to bring in some income to become a sustainable, to do that. Right. So I [00:08:00] have that written on my wall and I know it. So whenever I struggle with charging for something or doing something like that, then I will look at that wall and I will know. That that is a big part of my, why? So, what is your, why? Write it down, draw it out. And put it up somewhere that you will see often.
The third is start to use some what ifs as your affirmations. Right. So an affirmation you may well know is something that you're telling yourself and repeating over and over again. To retrain your brain to.
Believe, essentially. Right. And to remember. The challenge with. Affirmations is that if we don't believe it, our mind, we'll just flip it in our heads. Right. So if I was to. There was a point in my life where I really struggled with worthiness. I probably still do. I think we all do. [00:09:00] But I really, really did at this point in time. And if I was to think to myself and even just thinking affirmations or saying them out loud, whatever it looks like. If I was to say, I am worthy, that made me like, want to vomit. And it didn't have good. Things attached to it. Right. So. Instead of saying that. I said, what if I was worthy?
Right. And then my mind goes into, oh, what would that be like if it, what if, yeah. What if. Right. So. What is it that you're trying to shift in your brain? So, what is it that you're trying to shift? And convince yourself, what beliefs do you want to start to have about yourself in this case? If we're talking about your big audacious dream. What if. I could do this no matter what someone else thought.
What if I believed so [00:10:00] strongly in this. That I did it anyways.
What if.
I succeed, no matter what.
Right. It sounds a lot different than. Taking away. The what if.
Your fourth step is to really remember that this is your big vision. Like take some time, really dig into it. Allow yourself to get into that space of possibility and get that big vision out. And then.
Take small steps towards the big vision. So we don't have to go big all the time. I have to remind myself that constantly because I love big, right. I can sit there and make a big vision for like 10 different businesses right now, by the end of the day. The difference is that. Taking action creates momentum and it.
Makes me believe that I can do it then. Right. No matter what other people thinks. [00:11:00] So taking small steps, what's one thing you can do every single day that will just move you a tiny little bit closer to that big vision that you have. And that will help you. Believe more that it will happen. And lastly know who to tell. There are definitely people who I, at the beginning of an idea, they are not my people to tell. And I love them to bits. But they're not going to react in the way that will be helpful for me at that point in time. Often it's a mother who will pull out the protection and safety thing. Like, are you sure about that? Right or honestly, my husband. I have to tr I've kind of trained them now to like respond in the way I want him to, but he's not the possibilities zone guy. He's the practical guy. So I go to him after I get out of that possibility zone and I go to him when I'm like, okay. Like I got to figure out how to make this happen. What do I do? I already I'm convinced this is what I'm doing. I'm know I'm [00:12:00] confident in it. Now, what. And he's great at that section. But know who to tell about different stages. Right? Find that one person who, you know, We'll cheer you on and support your big dreams, no matter what, they're never going to think. You're crazy. They love it. That you have big audacious dreams. And they're going to get so excited alongside you find that one person, you just need one and keep going back to them. Even just in your mind, in those days when you're struggling, when someone else says something that makes you think they think you're crazy. Go back to that person and remember, oh yeah. But remember what they said, remember how they made me feel when I told them. Right. Find that person.
Now. When I say that if you're like having heart palpitations, cause she like, I don't know how to find that person there isn't that person in my life that I can think of. Then tell me.
You can email me permission to be human, [email protected] or [00:13:00] just go on Facebook and. Find permission to be human. And pop me a message and we can arrange a totally free. Complimentary 20 minute call, which is fully dedicated to just you telling me your big audacious dream. Why because I love building relationships and I. Love. People telling me their dreams. Like that's where I get the most excited in my life. And if I could just like do that for everyday all day, I would probably be, I know I would be a very happy person. So I would happily happily. Here your dream. Tell you how awesome you are. And just get excited with you. And if a call is too much than just start sending me messages, it's totally fine. And we can do it that way. We can do voice message. We can do writing. It doesn't matter. Right. What I'm willing to do is be that person for you until you find the person. [00:14:00] That's in your life, right? Because I know how challenging it can be at the beginning of an idea.
When we're pretty sensitive, we really need someone to like confirm that we're not crazy. That's pretty much what we're asking them. And that's what I will tell you. You're not crazy. This sounds amazing. Please go and do this. How are you going to do it? Like, let's figure it out right. Um, so yeah, so you've got five steps there to really know your why to write it down or draw it. To use the, what ifs. As a, as your affirmations.
To have small steps in your big vision. And do them. And to know who to tell, find that one person who's going to cheer you on no matter what.
So I hope that helps you. Know-how to believe in your dreams, even when the people around you think you're crazy. And remember, honestly, most of the time they don't think you're crazy. They're just a little scared for you because you're stepping out of the norm and that's actually a good sign. You [00:15:00] caught people around you that love you then. And you're doing something that is really needed. And sometimes almost always that's a little bit. Out of the status quo. So I love that you were thinking big, please, please, please keep doing it. And i can't wait to hear what it is
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