How to connect with your big audacious dream
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Hello hello! I'm so excited that. You were here today and are taking the time out of a really busy mom life to step aside and give yourself that moment to connect with you. And that's what today is all about. This whole podcast is about [00:01:00] moms connecting with their big audacious dreams to get out there in the bigger world and make a difference beyond their house and within, and.
When I think about how to do that. And when I speak to people about how they do that, There are many of us who are in this phase of like, yeah, but what is my dream? Right. Because when we become mothers, We, it is all encompassing for all the beautiful and wonderful reasons that it is. And I absolutely love being mom most days.
So many moms, I talked to myself, included have gone through phases where we aren't sure what our identity is anymore. And where do we connect with the person we were before we became a mother and. Who we are as a mother, but also who are, who are we beyond a mom? Right. Yes, I'm. Mom and I'm also more, so today I'm going to be chatting you [00:02:00] through.
How you can connect with your big audacious dream. And why it, and you matter, so we're going to give some. Really specific things that you can go away and do, like as soon as you stop listening. And every day, just for a few minutes, it doesn't take much time to start to feel connected to yourself again.
And so if you're one of those people who are sitting there thinking. I know that I want to feel connected to me. I know that I want to like feel more me and know what that means. I know that I. I love being mom, but I also feel like I really want. To do something else as well. I really want to make an impact in the world elsewhere.
As well as being mom, then you're in the right place because this is a space for you to start. Dreaming. And connecting to those dreams and what [00:03:00] they may be, could be. But in order to do that we have to connect to ourselves first so today we're going to be talking you through how to do just that
Now before I go ahead and give you the exact method you can use to connect with yourself. I just want to. Let you know a little bit about me and why am I talking about this topic? Why does that matter so much to me? So I'm a mom of two kids. They're now eight and five. And. When I got pregnant, it took quite a while. The first one was an IVF baby. And when I got pregnant, I really.
I didn't. I was like, oh, I spent so long trying to do this, but now I am, well, what do I do with that? Like, who am I going to be? And I've always been this person. Who's very.
Um, Very, I like to. Be [00:04:00] spontaneous, right. I'm a very spontaneous person. And I like to know that I can up and move whenever I want. I can go travel. I can go on adventures. I can change careers. I can do all these different things. And I had this fear for a little while that.
What if I can't do that, what if I can't be that person when I'm mom? And what if I lose her?
And. That was, that was definitely real and a story that definitely creeps in even now. However, my way of getting over that was through connection and community and. Really finding the people in my life who. We're also challenging the stereotype that when you become a mom, that's it. Your life's over now. It's new life, mom life. And that's it for the first while. And don't get me wrong to it is all encompassing to [00:05:00] be a mother and it takes so much of my energy and time.
Especially in those first. Few months, even a couple of years, even five years of your kids' lives. I'm just coming out of that, right. Where my youngest is about to go to kindergarten in September and. That makes, uh, A big difference. I imagine.
But my point is I. Have these struggles too. And. The way that I got through it was to be. Play in my strengths, which is in this space of possibility. And to know that I can dream big and that this is a short season in my life where I decided I made very specific decisions to be that stay at home. Mom, who was also running her business.
But I was at home and that's not something I ever actually thought I'd do. Uh, but I lived in England. I didn't have family around. I would have had to send my children to. Childcare [00:06:00] every day for it to work any other way. And I decided at that point, it didn't, that just didn't feel right or went with my gut.
So, um, That like encompassed my life and figured, uh, figuring out who I was within. That was a challenging time. But as I say, it was community connection. I caught some coaching. I started. Dreaming and finding out who I was within that and giving myself the opportunity to find that out. And now I'm feeling after so much learning.
Along the way, intentional learning, like going to courses and trying and experimenting with things that I.
I am now where I am now, where I'm feeling pretty confident about who I am. I know what my dreams are. I know that my big vision is to create this together, a world, this space where.
We feel together in, in community that we don't feel alone and that we're [00:07:00] fighting this right now in order to get there, this loneliness epidemic that is coming after this pandemic that our world has.
Has just, is still going through. And.
This together world is my vision and it is now what keeps me going and the house change all the time. And that's kind of the fun of it. And that's my big. Audacious dream. And so my dream now is to help you figure out your big, big audacious dreams, because that is one way that I'm going to get us further towards our together world, because it's moms like you, who are going to get out there and make a difference in the world.
Who are good at take steps towards that together world. Right that. If I can help one mom listening to this podcast too. Feel more confident, feel more like herself and to get out in the world and make it the positive dead that she was [00:08:00] born to make. Then I have achieved my goal. So that's who I am. That's why I'm here. And that's why I'm so passionate about helping people find.
They're big audacious dreams so that you could go and make a difference in the world. So let's do this then. You are a change maker, whether you believe it quite yet or not. And you simply need the space and supportive community to dream big and to believe it. And so. My hope. Is that I can. Help you find steps towards that.
So today we're going to be working through three actionable. Actionable steps. That will connect you with your big audacious dream. So the first step or kind of theme really is to give you permissions, if you haven't figured it out yet, this podcast and the company as a whole is permission to be human. [00:09:00] So there's a lot of permission granted here because so often we feel like we need to ask it.
Even though, if we think about where like, wide, well, why do I need permission for that? It is ingrained in us as human beings, especially as women, especially as moms. So here's your first permission. Your first permission is to take space for you. You're doing that right now. Most likely you're doing the dishes or walking the dog or driving your kids somewhere, whatever you're doing, you're still taking the time to listen to this podcast. And that is.
That first permission take the space for you. And I'm inviting you to take. 15 minutes a day for you every single day. So step one is create that habit. Now a little hint about habits. We're going to have a whole podcast talking about habits in the future. But the main one that I want you to remember is that.
Creating a new habit. Is more likely to succeed if you attach it to an existing habit. [00:10:00]
That you already have. So for example, brushing your teeth, you know, that you brush your teeth every night, I'm assuming you do. Um, But maybe now, maybe you forget in the morning sometimes who knows, but so like choose the one that is the habit that you will always do. So.
Someone actually. Gave this really great example of the teeth brushing one where they wanted to floss. So they did it before they brush their teeth. Every time they're going to brush their teeth. They said, okay, I have to do. I have to do this first. Um, but you could do that with anything. Let's say I need to do some physio exercises. So I need to like do some, my, uh, is my ankles that I've done, like a zillion times in my life. So often I just need to go up on my toes and do some, some calf.
Lifts. And so I'll do that while I'm brushing my teeth, because I already know that I'm brushing my teeth and maybe I need a little prompt on the mirror to like, remind me to do it. Because I know I'm going to look in the mirror while I [00:11:00] brush my teeth. Right. So the point is, choose a habit. Something that you do every day.
And do your 15 minutes for you.
At the same time before or after whatever. Works in your schedule in life. Now, so many people in this space talk about. This dream morning that I still like dream of having where as soon as you wake up before you go to the bathroom or just after you do these beautiful, you know, Times of meditation and thoughtfulness and stretching and exercise and all these things before you even, you know,
I get to do anything else. Well, as a mom, I have to say that has never been my experience. I have children often in my bed, in the middle of the night. They're in the morning. If I wake up, my five-year-old will get out of bed. He will wake up because he can sense that I am no longer there, so I [00:12:00] can not do a lot of those practices right away.
When I wake up in the morning. But for me, what can work is I do get the time in the evening. My kids are in bed to take 15 minutes. Before I might stick Netflix on or right before I go to sleep. It's only 15 minutes and. Creating that habit. So I usually have a warm drink in the evening. I can attach it to the habit of having that warm drink to.
Take 15 minutes to do the following things that I'm going to tell you about. For you. Okay. I'll get off my bandwagon about 15 minutes for you, but do, do take it. Okay, so you've taken it now. What. Right. Okay. I'll take it for me. And people talk about self care all the time and it's like, yeah, you could go have a bath, have a shower, like, get your nails done, whatever.
But also there's these much simpler things that you can do. So I'm going to talk you through what you do. So the first step in those 15 [00:13:00] minutes. Is to breathe. Slowly.
Even thinking about that is making me slow down my voice. Could you tell that it was getting fast before and now I'm like K. Breathe. Ground yourself in the present moment. Okay, so I'm here. I'm sitting. I'm good. And then just listen, connect with your body. What's it telling you? So mine is telling me slow down.
Right. And I am guessing yours might even say the same, but maybe it's saying like, have you got, have you got an ache somewhere? I've got a headache today. Are you thirsty? Whatever, just listen in and see what your body's telling you. You don't even have to connect it to.
What that means. In fact, don't even more. So just notice, just notice your body.
And after you've grounded yourself, then go and do something that makes you feel good. [00:14:00] And here's a couple of examples of things that are scientifically proven to make you feel good. So one example is a gratitude practice. And it's as simple as think of three good things that happened recently. And how you contributed to them.
Three good things that happened recently and how you contributed to them. So a good thing that happened today is that. I took the morning to. Go watch my son's gymnastics because he's only got one more session left and they were doing a little presentation at the end. Usually grandma takes them. But now I feel, you know, just seeing his smile and how proud he was to stand there and get a certificate. And cheer himself was really beautiful. And I contributed that because I could have just said, yeah, grandma, you go.
But I made the intentional decision to go just this one time, even though it would stress me out more to get all this [00:15:00] stuff done. Later in the day. But that was one of my good things. And.
That is one example for the gratitude practice. So, hint, this is a really nice one to do with your whole family in the evening as well to make yourselves feel good. So not only three good things that happened that day, but how they, or you contributed to them. It feels really good.
So another exercise you can do to help yourself feel good is help. Yourself get into a space of awe. So that's. Actually a really simple concept though. Sometimes harder to do, depending on where your strengths lie. It's easier to do. If you see something. Like the trees or water or you're in nature.
But you can really do this anywhere. And it is to look around. [00:16:00] And find something beautiful that you think. It's just so interesting. And think about how amazing it is. So for example, I have this, um,
I have this, I don't even know what to call it. This circle thing on my wall. That's decorating it. That a friend gave me when I was feeling down in the dump. She sent it in the mail to me all the way from England and it is full of color. And. I know that it's almost like, you know, you fold pieces of paper into.
Uh, fan, but it fans out into circle this one and. Such a simple idea. So I could really get my brain going on. Like it's amazing how something so simple can be so beautiful. Right.
And so that's the practice just taking like 30 seconds even to find something and really think about how incredible it is. I think about [00:17:00] sometimes sit down and go, isn't it amazing? Like how.
Women. Have babies inside of them. And they grow from these tiny little cells into this. Baby that comes out and turns into this. Real person and child that goes into this adult. And I just think that's like incredible. And it definitely gets me into this space of awe. When I think about the detail of the likelihood that.
You know, even like the sperm attaches to the Hey, how, how, like that's so unlikely to happen and I can get an, a real space of curiosity and awe with that. So gratitude or another one is movement. Movement makes us feel better as human beings. And that can be the smallest of things. You're only taking 15 minutes to do these, right. So.
Do something that works for you, you could do this entire practice of 15 minutes welds to walking the dog. If you want to be productive. We're just going for a walk by [00:18:00] yourself. Uh, have a little dance to your favorite song. Hop on a bike. I have one sitting next to me on my desk, in my office here, where if my brain is just feeling stuck, I hop on it and I give myself like five minutes to just move my legs. I don't have to sweat necessarily. I just need.
To move. And you can do it again for a few seconds, for a few minutes, or for all of this 15 minutes that you've given yourself, but move. If you're feeling stuck, move your body and your mind will move to.
So you've gotten. Into the habit of creating the 15 minutes you. You're in there. I'm creating the 15 minutes. You've done something to make you feel self feel good with those examples. I just gave. Now it's time to exercise your creative brain. So we're trying to get into this space where you can actually start to connect with your dreams right now, in order to do that, you need to switch your creativity on because if your brain is still thinking about the lunches you need to make or.
You know, [00:19:00] there's lists of tasks. And that or things that just happened or whatever it is then your, your creativity is going to be pretty limited. And it's hard to, uh, Hard to connect with a dream when you're in that space. So here's some little exercises you could try and try a different one each day.
Or pick one that really works for you and keep going at it, whatever, whatever tends to work for you. But I have three examples of ways you can exercise your creative brain. You can save 15 minutes. It's just too hard today to get to yourself, involve your kids in this spot. Like they love some of these things.
So one thing is how many things could this object be? So it's a little game. My kids do love it as well. And actually they're better at it than me, which just shows you how our creativity. Is in practice as much as an adult. But you can pick up any objects. So a pen and be like, okay. Name. 10 things that this object could be and a pen isn't [00:20:00] one of them, right.
So it can be a. Uh, thing that makes you, you spin, then it helps you make choices. It can be a magic wand. It can be. Um, at something to keep my ponytail up, it can be a rocket that shoots off into space. Like you can think of things that are real, and you can think of things that are absolute nonsense. It doesn't, and nonsense is actually even better because that gets your.
Your creative brain really, really going. So that I just call it how many objects could this be or how many things could this object be? Another activity to get your brain going. Your creatives kind of juices is to just doodle something ridiculous. So grab a pen. Pencil, whatever a little piece of paper, nobody even has to see this. Don't worry about like being an artist.
And just doodle something. So fill in these blanks. So do an object, say a cat wearing. A hot dog suit. [00:21:00] Walking into.
Uh, sauna. Right. Like doodle that, draw that out. And even if you don't draw it on a piece of paper, like. Imagine yourself drawing it on the piece of paper because your brain will still go there and look at all the detail of that and make you kind of chuckle. And lastly, another act activity. If you want to try a different creative brain, one would just be collaborative storytelling, and this does involve another person. So if your kids are there, it's great. Or a partner or friend or, or such.
But take your S take the space to start to tell the story. So if I was doing this another person, I would say. Once upon a time, there was a dog who sat on a bicycle and the next person would tell the next part of the story. And it's kind of a yes and type game too. So they don't. And they just build upon, they don't take down what you just did. So they might say.
And the bike [00:22:00] was riding around the moon. It was actually flying and I'm like, yeah. And actually it was. And we just build on it and we take turns going back and forth. You can do that with as many people as you want. But great, great games for very simply and very quickly getting ourselves into a creative space.
Okay. So.
You've given yourself permission to take the space for you. You've.
Grounded yourself. You breathe, done something that feels good. You've exercised your creative brain. Now it's time to reflect and listen. So, this is where you stop and you think, okay. If I was dreaming big today. What would that look like? Even if you don't feel like you are yet, just if, if I was dreaming big today, what would that look like?
And just [00:23:00] listen to the whisper. See, if anything comes. You can close your eyes and reflect you can doodle. Whatever your answer is, you can journal your answer. Writing's more your thing. Or you can, if you're an audio verbal processor, like I am clearly hello podcast. Then you can leave yourself a little voice message and that works too. You don't even ever have to listen to it again.
Or you can up to you. But the point is you're asking yourself the question. If I was dreaming big today. What would that look like?
And just listen. And see what happens.
Okay. So that's what you're going to do in 15 minutes every single day. Give yourself a challenge. I'm actually thinking about starting this a challenge. For 15 days, we could all do this together. So if that appeals to you, please do. Let me know, because I would be, I would love to do that. Just go into permission to [00:24:00] be human Facebook page and send me a DM and be like, yes, let's do this. Let's do 15 minutes every day. And I will get a group of women moms together. And.
We will, we will keep each other accountable. Okay, so you've got your 15 minutes. You've breeds be present, done something good. You've exercised your creative brain. And now you're, you're reflecting and listening. So your next step. Once you get into this habit. Once you've done it for a few days.
Your next permission is to dream big and take up space. So often as women and as moms. We feel like we feel nervous about taking up space. Right about showing us out there. We are there to support others. We're there to be, the mom were there to, you know, actually it's okay. Give yourself permission to dream. Really big.
And to take up the space that you need to take in order [00:25:00] to make that impact in the world. So that's your permission and how you do that is through tell someone. What that whisper has been telling you. If you have even the niggly little bit of what. That dream might be. Then find someone that, you know, will cheer you on.
This is the key thing. Don't tell. Your. Parent or spouse, if they're the type that. Or friend or whoever it might be, if there's a type that are going to, to worry about you. And be like, oh, bots, if there's any Obote butts, if you were to have any concern that they're going to say, oh, but don't tell that person not at this stage in the game, they can come later on and be super useful.
But at this stage in the game, when you're just playing with possibilities. And you're just dreaming. Those first people you tell will impact how you feel [00:26:00] about the likelihood of. Pursuing this dream. So. Find someone sit down, think of someone that will listen to your dream and you know, we'll just cheer you on no matter what you said, if you're like, I really want to build a rocket and like fly to the moon.
It could be. So many people would be like, uh, okay, how exactly are you going to do that? And think like you're crazy. No, no, no. You want to find that person's going to be, oh my gosh. That sounds amazing. You want to go to the moon? Like, how are you? Like that's. Wow. Tell me about tell me more.
Right. And who is excited and knows that you can literally achieve anything you think of. Even if it sounds a little bit crazy. So find that person. And. Explore together. If I had unlimited time, money and energy. That's you, if you had unlimited time, money and energy. [00:27:00] What could you do with this idea and play together?
Oh, I guess I could, if I had unlimited time, energy. And money. I can build a rocket because I could hire some scientists that know how to do that kind of thing. And I could put my ideas for like how to put.
The.
Design on the outside in the way that I'm thinking and how actually, maybe we could go to this other place on the moon, but I'm not a scientist. So I'm making this up. This is not one of my dreams. So please, excuse me for my naive, in terms of.
What I would actually do on a rocket ship, but that's not the point because I would be building it with this other person. We were just building up those ideas. So for me, sitting down with a friend who I knew would cheer me on and say, I think I want to work with moms. And they'd be like, oh yeah, that sounds interesting. [00:28:00] What are you going to do with them?
Wow. Maybe I could. Do some coaching, maybe I could figure out how to be a coach. Oh yeah. I think you might be really good at that. And what would you do if you were a coach and just go back and forth? Um, and really play, play with the idea and again, go big. Go big or go home, right? Maybe I'd be like, I'm going to go and I'm going to make.
$10 million and I'm going to change the lives of 60 billion people. Great, how are we going to do it? Let's like, what else could you do with that? What else could you do? What else could you do? There's no nose in his face. If you haven't figured that one out yet. Okay. So you've told someone that, you know, we'll cheer you on.
The next thing within this profession. Is every day before you go to sleep. I want you to visualize it happening. Think about this great conversation you've had. [00:29:00]
And be like, okay. Yeah. I'm going to build this business. Okay. Wow. I'm going to change lives. Yeah. And just really visualize it happening. Like I'm going to make some phone calls. I'm going to be in my office. I'm going to decorate it in this way. I'm going to have these beautiful sense coming in. I'm going to be able to look out my window and see this.
And when I talk to so-and-so as a client, I'm gonna make a difference in their life and they're going to be a better person, and then they're going to go out and they're going to do their dream. And then they're going to make a difference in the world. And it's this beautiful ripple effect. And. You can see how I'm excited about my own dream.
Um, but the point is pick your dream, whatever it might be. And visualize it happening. I already it's done. All the things that like might get in your way there, they're not in your way anymore. And you're already doing it. That's the space I want you to get into. So that you start to believe that it's actually possible because your brain does [00:30:00] not know the difference between thinking about something and doing something. So if your brain sees you doing it every single night already achieving what you're setting out to do.
It's like, oh yeah. We're good. Let's go. And once you've done that, allow yourself to take laughable small actions towards your big audacious dream.
And I mean, like I say, laughable, like if my dream is to CA to. Walk Mount Everest to hike it. Uh, first I need to like find the right shoes. And then I need to put them by the door. I don't need to open the door and start walking down the street. And I needed to get, you know, to start to get myself fit. And that obviously builds up to way bigger steps.
But those ones are, can be overwhelming. I'm I'm, I'm all about big thinking in terms of possibility, but then we go small. Then we go into small laughable actions that you can take towards your big audacious dream. [00:31:00]
And then repeat that over and over and over again. So you've got your 15 minutes habit for you. You're going to tell someone who will cheer you on. You're going to visualize it happening. And then you're going to take tiny actions towards it.
And that is it. That is.
All you need to do to start connecting with yourself. If you do start to do that on a consistent basis, I promise you that you will start to figure out who you are, what your dreams are. And then you'll start to take action because you'll get so stinking excited about the possibilities.
And remember you have permission to take up space. The world, your family and your community needs the person that you will be when you dream big and let it happen. Because. You are a change [00:32:00] maker. Even if you don't believe it yet.
And.
I have this quote that I wanted to share. I'm sure you've probably heard it before. It's a Winston Churchill quote.
But it really sticks in my brain, which is never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.
And I just told you to think about this every day. So no giving up anymore. Right.
So.
That's it. These are the steps to take, to start to connect with you. And I hope this has been really useful and really practical. My aim is yes. To give you those stories and interviews with moms and with. Professionals in the field and teaching us the science. And to give you this space where I give you really practical things that you can go away and do right now.
And please, please. Do let me know if you do. I'd love to hear about it. [00:33:00] And I want to go back to one of those steps here and put an offer out, which is. If you are thinking of someone that you want to share your dream with for the first time. And you can't think of a single person in your life who you can a hundred percent say confidently that.
They will cheer you on no matter what comes out of your mouth. Then I would absolutely love to be that person for free. I like that is my favorite thing to do is to hear people share their dreams. And if you were in a space where you need someone to be so excited for you. I am going to be that person.
If you need me to be so. You can message me on.
Permission to be human. On Facebook and just say, Hey. [00:34:00] You mentioned this, you got this call. That's what I'm calling them. You got this.
If you just say you got this I'll be like, yeah, here's a link book me in and I will give you like 20 minutes of my time to share your dream. And I will be so, so excited about it. For you and with you.
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